DS teacher told him boys can be girls

[TotallyKerplunked]

DS is 9 and I know the rule is you should take what kids tell you happened at school with a pinch of salt but he seems pretty certain and even made notes because he wanted to check with me because he thought it was silly but when he questioned the teacher was told to stop being rude.

They have been covering puberty recently and today were discussing the stonewall riots and the lesson went on to say that people are now free to be whatever they want to be and that the sex they are is not fixed and they can be happy being something else.

I need some help drafting an e-mail to the school / directing towards the threads that have discussed this previously please, I'm rubbish at getting points across coherently.

There's absolutely nothing wrong in asking to view their lesson content and many schools encourage this for pshe and rse lessons.

For those saying you can ‘ask to see lesson content’, please provide a link whereby this is either a right or deemed appropriate?

You can see the curriculum (normally published on the website) and good policy indicates that parents should be involved.

However (as anyone actually in teaching knows), that is a million miles away from actually sharing the lesson content. Do you expect to see the slides (assuming a PowerPoint was used) or a teacher’s private lesson plan?

Did anyone suggest it was an actual legal right though? There is nothing to stop a parent asking for lesson content. And even if the school/teacher is allowed to say no, that might not be the best move.

Here ...

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachmentdata/file/884450/Parentallengagementonnrelationships_education.pdf

@AssassinatedBeauty,

Nice try but no cigar.

It says exactly as I specified above: the curriculum should be shared and consulted about and parental engagement should be sought.

Unless I have missed it, it nowhere states that schools should share lesson content.

I presume TheReluctantPhoenix that you're not a teacher?

The DfE's RSE statutory guidelines are very clear that all schools must have an RSE policy and must consult parents in developing and reviewing their policy. (direct quote)

Para 24 states:
Schools should also ensure that, when they consult with parents, they provide examples of the resources that they plan to use as this can be reassuring for parents and enables them to continue the conversations started in class at home .

These are statutory guidelines that schools must follow. Schools are meant to work in partnership with parents - essential for RSE if parents are to complement what's being taught - or as we are seeing, correct the falsehoods and inaccuracies some children are being taught.

Here's the link to the guidelines :

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/908013/Relationships_Education__Relationships_and_Sex_Education__RSE__and_Health_Education.pdf

@MrsOvertonsWindow,

I assume that you are not, as you are once again conflating completely separate things.

Consultation and example resources are not lesson content!

Do you have any idea of the burden on teachers if they had to provide lesson content to any parent who asked? And then respond to their criticisms?

Schools have a complaint policy for a reason.

I have been to meetings at my child's school to be shown the lesson content (videos/slides etc) to be used in these lessons. That's what consultation means. How do you expect schools to consult with parents if they don't share resources with them?

TheReluctantPhoenix, I'm not only a teacher but have run RSE departments in 3 different schools including one school with a predominantly Muslim intake.
I've run consultation evenings about policies, shared resources, had health ed ./ school nurses and doctors and a range of other professionals in schools to meet with parents and share curriculum, resources and approaches. It's time consuming but if you're committed to partnership with parents and ensuring that the majority of parents allow their children to take part in all aspects of sex ed lessons, then you need to be open with them and they need the confidence that the school deals with sensitive issues respectfully and in a balanced way.

Do you teach RSE?

Of course parents can ask to see lesson content for RSE. Perhaps the school can refuse, but I presume the parent could then ask for the information under the FOIA?

In any case, any decent school would not want to antagonise a concerned parent by refusing to help them understand how these sensitive topics are taught.

Agreed Leafstamp

Just to follow up TheReluctantPhoenix's point about making parents use the complaints procedure. If you read complaints procedures they always specify that using it should be the last resort.
Schools and teachers shouldn't set out to fight with parents or to patronise them with a top down approach. Good schools have the confidence of parents and where there are problems, work hard to find solutions. Hopefully the OP's school is one of those that wants to work well with parents and will resolve this respectfully and positively.

I'm a teacher. As said above, in primary there is very little sex education in the curriculum, which makes it perfectly manageable to do this as a presentation to parents. Primaries also do this on a regular basis with topic talks and school trip residential q and a as well.
Out of all the things that take a lot of time in teaching, this really isn't one of them.
If schools are choosing to cover the non statutory gender stuff, then of course it's their responsibility to make sure it's appropriate and communicated to parents. The DfE is clear. No one should be spouting gender ideology as fact. There's actually no excuse because if a school is unsure it does not have to cover it. But if it does it needs to follow the guidance provided. Which, if the op is exactly as her son reported, it very clearly did not.

@MrsOvertonsWindow,

It sounds like what you do is excellent and an example of best practice in this area.

I still think there is a big difference between a pre-arranged meeting with a head of department and lots of parents, and any individual parent asking an individual teacher about sharing the lesson content for a lesson they just taught.

In the first instance, you prepare in advance for the meeting and have time to explain context. In the second instance, you are vulnerable to any parent demanding a single lesson content with no context around it, and engaging in a lengthy and critical e mail dialogue thenceforth. And multiply that by as many opinionated parents as the school has…

You sound quite senior, so I hope you protect your junior colleagues from parents who feel that they have the right to critique their teaching.

I presume TheReluctantPhoenix that you're not a teacher?

I think it's utterly clear Phoenix is a teacher and what she's saying is correct. There is no legal basis to make individual staff share lesson resources or even engage with a parent's concerns.

That said I don't think that's what anyone is suggesting, I think we are all talking across purposes.

I think the point is that all teachers will have a chat about parent concerns and try to address them if raised in a reasonable way. If that doesn't work then OP has ammo to encourage the school to review it's content in this area and hopefully a conversation with that teacher would occur.

This is a sufficiently important subject for OP to put the time and effort in and I think in many schools you'd get a reasonable response. It don't think it's a 'That' parent situation unless OP goes in bolshy.

You're right TheReluctantPhoenix . Teachers mustn't be hung out to dry. I've spent many an hour with enraged parents being clear that they are not going to see Mr or get an apology from Ms . That's not how it works.
But we have to be open to criticism and feedback. The RSE curriculum has become increasingly challenging with fundamentalist religious groups attempting to control it, lobby groups desperately (and relatively successfully) trying to implement queer theory into much of it and worried parents being torn all ways - especially about trans issues.

Too many teachers have been indoctrinated into the 'born in the wrong body' narrative and we now have to give them the knowledge, skills and boundaries to navigate these issues scientifically, accurately and compassionately. Along with the guidelines, at the moment it's up to parents to let schools know how concerned they are, just as the OP has done.

@TheReluctantPhoenix

Although I am gender critical, I would not be writing to the school over this.

It is a good opportunity to discuss what is a fact and what is an opinion and to say that it is OK to not agree with the school on this one.

It is definitely not OK, as a parent, to demand ‘lesson material’. The teacher reports to the head, not to the parents. And the head is governed by a board of governors.

The idea that any parent will be in agreement with the school about 100% of teaching is unrealistic. And a child taking notes in order to get a teacher in trouble is not commendable.

The message to the child is teachers are human and, if they are in general doing a good job, they need to be forgiven mistakes, in the same way as they forgive pupils ‘mistakes’ in behaviour.

Sorry, but this is terrible advice. There is a very clear document detailing what should and shouldn’t be taught in school. Gender ideology is on the shouldn’t be taught list. The teacher is misinforming the class. They will go away believing that they can change sex if they so wish. The SRE curriculum should have been introduced to the parents and the parents been given the chance to inspect the materials the school intends to use to teach it.

RSE, not SRE.

Nice bit of derailing Phoenix

I'm old enough to have been the guinea-pig class when it came to the national curriculum.

I may not remember my school days with perfect clarity, but I didn't learn about 'trans' at school. Section 28 must have been at play when I was at school and yet my best friend, who was gay, was mostly supported by the school. So things have obviously improved since then.

We learned about sex, but it wasn't 'oh it's fun' as some posters who shudder teach sre/give advice to young people on sexual health seem to push. It was STDs are a consequence of sex- here's how to protect yourself. Pregnancy is a consequence- here's how to stop unwanted pregnancy.
I would have hoped as it's broadened to be more inclusive (without section 28 for example) it would still keep that safeguarding message. Here's how to protect yourself if you take part in XYZ sex act. Here's how to protect yourself from revenge porn.

It's not a general theme in primary but it seems to me that some people think sre is there to have a nice little cosy Anne Summers like chat about kinks etc. It shouldn't be like that. I didn't find out about fetishes or anything like that in sex education and I don't think that's what it is there for.

I think actually, where trans is relevant is not in the SRE part, but in the PSHE part of the curriculm. Along with tolerance for other religions, races and sexual orientations. You don't need to follow Islamic orthodoxy to show tolerance and respect to Islamic people and you don't need to know the ins and out of gender ideology to do likewise to people who believe in gender.

As trans people are fond of saying, it should be acknowledging that they exist and deserve the same respect and consideration everyone else gets. No more, no less.

And it doesn't need to be covered in great detail, in either SRE or any other area of the curriculum to do that. We don't teach all the world religions, but we still manage to get across the tolerance message for them, why is gender ideology this special case where everyone must know the ins and outs of a very specific, spiritual belief system?