"I don’t think I will ever feel 100% safe again.” Why are women still treated as completely unimportant?

[CardinalLolzy]

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/may/24/it-was-like-a-horror-film-sophie-walker-on-her-stalking-nightmare-and-how-the-police-failed-her

Yet another appalling story of man stalking woman (and children) and the police being utterly shit.
I know they are desperately underfunded but surely this sort of thing should be an easy case and stopping him early would prevent a lot of further police work when it inevitably turns into serious harm or murder?

Why is this acceptable?

Not read the link sorry.

I don't think society cares. They say they do but they don't. We. As a society.

It's not a good conclusion but it's the only one I can come to.

Unfortunately society has moved beyond women's safety.. it's crazy how we moved the attention away from women (50% of the worlds population) to things like trans (

Guardian today. 1.6% of reported rapes resulted in a charge.

Not a conviction. Anyone being charged.

I said to DH what has been said on here before. And I read it and thought ok but I didn't want to accept it iyswim.

Rape is effectively legal.

Why would that be?

Because in the end. Society goes omg it's such a terrible appalling crime. But each time in practice it's. What was she wearing, why was she there, why did she walk, why did she go home with him, why didn't she leave etc etc etc etc etc.

There is no interest in society in tackling this. TBH this extends to children as well. And gay men I'm sure. Straight men I suspect don't report very often which is another issue.

Women and girls are the largest victim group though.

And the perpetrators are almost always men. And I don't think society wants to face up to the reality of it all. It's easier to minimise, victim blame, and look the other way.

I don't know what can be done.

'Unfortunately society has moved beyond women's safety.'

I don't understand this comment? There was never a time when it was genuinely taken seriously I don't think.

@NiceGerbil

'Unfortunately society has moved beyond women's safety.'

I don't understand this comment? There was never a time when it was genuinely taken seriously I don't think.

There was a time when it was being talked about a lot. Now it's barely even a conversation. Sure the odd incident here and there might spark the conversation for a couple weeks.

Political leaders don't have the appetite for using a tougher approach. All sides are fairly rubbish on this issue. This isn't "society". If they ever asked society in a referendum then law and order policy could likely be quite different. And that's whether it's stalking of women or violent attacks on men.

A "tough" approach to crime is seen as backwards and lacking in compassion, or lacking in wisdom as to what actually works to reform people. If society is too punitive that's "taking revenge" and revenge is a bad thing.

So there is a type of thinking and a type of attitude behind it, and they have the moral high ground; at least they think they do.

It's becasuse we don't have a Justice System in this country, just a Legal System.

I read that story yesterday and it made me angry and despairing in equal measure. The police telling a terrified woman to “calm down” when a man has been setting her property on fire and demolishing her roof.

Welcome to womanhood. Only children feel 100% safe.

@NiceGerbil says “There is no interest in society in tackling this. TBH this extends to children as well. And gay men I'm sure.”

I’m going to politely disagree. Acres of coverage were devoted to the predatory rapist who picked up young men in Manchester, took them back to his flat, drugged and raped them. At the time I was very struck by the almost total absence of victim-blaming, especially when contrasted to the Ched Evans case or the Ulster rugby players, both cases where the woman was regarded as the architect of her own fate because she had been drinking and/or went to a party. (I suppose I had better state here that all those men were found not guilty.)

I posted a thread about the level of domestic violence perpetrated against women by police officers. I think this is very significant, but there was no interest whatsoever. On a site dominated by women. It is so deeply embedded in our society, at every level. Women are expendable.

Legalisation of rape.

We're not far away from legalisation of 'sex gone wrong' even when it ends in death. I wonder how many cases of serious harm (eg, strokes, trachea or other life-altering injuries) under similar circumstances have no publicity in the MSM.

endoftheline interestingly there was quite a good item on Woman’s Hour last week about the difficulties of women abused by police husbands or partners getting heard.

Noldon there was handwringing sure.

The gangs are still active though. Nothing has changed.

As a society we like to think we care. But we don't.

Oh sorry noldon totally misread!

There was a lot of coverage but not a lot of outcry.

There was also recently a gay serial killer who was left active as the police weren't interested.

Warboys there was a lot of coverage as well. But I didn't feel there was real outrage iyswim.

I think people say oh dear that's bad and then move on.

I don't think society (I mean as a general group) cares much. Although most individuals would say they definitely did. Iyswim.

I posted a thread about the level of domestic violence perpetrated against women by police officers. I think this is very significant, but there was no interest whatsoever.
I missed thar and would've been interested....

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4248690-Domestic-abuse-by-police-officers

www.channel4.com/news/more-than-100-women-accuse-police-officers-of-domestic-abuse-alleging-boys-club-culture

And then - www.theguardian.com/law/2021/may/21/lawyers-appalled-at-womans-10-year-sentence-after-conviction-quashed

Men can rape and murder without censure but how very dare a woman try to not get killed.

I don't think society cares. They say they do but they don't. We. As a society.

51% of the population cares for sure but as for the 49%?
Some of that 49% are actively anti-caring; some are in the pub and can’t see a problem. We need to make it their problem somehow.

My guess is that dealing with violence against women ultimately means dismantling patriarchy, which is the bedrock structure of society. The violence is the final enforcement tool to keep women "in their place" when all else fails.

People's lizard brains sense that and back off from touching it. It's all just too much. And hence all the slimebrained excuses for not doing anything when attention is forced on the issue.

I don't think 51% of the population do care.

Victim blaming is something women are good at too.

Stuff on here about the news, has plenty of posters saying what did she expect why was she there etc.

Threads where women in relationships say this happened I don't know what to think (assault or rape) always plenty of posters saying I wouldn't mind that, it's not unusual blah etc.

In general yes women are much more likely to care but it's not guaranteed at all.

Quixote agree facing up to the reality is just too much.

I can't think of another group where the oppressor and the oppressed are so closely linked and mutually dependant.

It's dads, brothers, partners, husbands, partners etc. It's just too much.

If I'm honest I think it'll be hard to get men to give more thought to VAWG when they already experience much more violence than us and don't generally get as much attention. Most seem pretty blase about the violence their own sex experiences, yet alone women.

They really don't!

Men are and always have been really freaked out at the idea of being sexually attacked by another man.

Rather than tackling it they joke about it though... Odd. A lot of our swearing is related to male fear of being raped by another man. In a sort of misgynistic homophobic way.