School RSE Consultation

[ConcreteUnderpants]

Following on from the news that my child’s school is doing the Jigsaw programme and my letter asking for more information, I have now been asked in for a meeting on Monday with the head and deputy.

I was hoping to do all this through email as I have social anxiety and am scared of authority figures. But no, a meeting for which I will swallow my substantial fears and set off for as this is just too important.

Please could you guide me with the three most important things I should say. I know what it is I want to say and that additional information is available on here, but I just get so anxious and flummoxed in situations like this I can’t remember anything! I just want to try and remember a few key points.

I don’t want to look like a raging phobe and am scared of them fobbing me off or I’ll go off on a tangent about Demi Lovato!

Am getting so worried about it already, apologies.

I think one of the most important things to say is that the Jigsaw programme contravenes the most recent DfE guidelines on teaching RSE, specifically the bit that says: "You should not reinforce harmful stereotypes, for instance by suggesting that children might be a different gender based on their personality and interests or the clothes they prefer to wear. Resources used in teaching about this topic must always be age-appropriate and evidence based. Materials which suggest that non-conformity to gender stereotypes should be seen as synonymous with having a different gender identity should not be used and you should not work with external agencies or organisations that produce such material."

www.gov.uk/guidance/plan-your-relationships-sex-and-health-curriculum#using-external-agencies

Scroll down to the section on Jigsaw here:

safeschoolsallianceuk.net/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Parents-Guide-to-external-PSHE-RSE-providers.pdf

The points you need are the DfE regulations and the Equality Act.
DfE (google the exact regulations). Teaching must be evidence based - , there are not 3/6/1,000 sexes. There are two. Nobody can change sex. No amount of animals changing sex will make it true.

• Schools must not talk about children being in the wrong body
• Schools may not suggest that children who like things associated with the other sex are actually members of the other sex. This means they mustn't say that a child "knew they were trans because they liked dresses despite being a boy".

EA2010: watch for the protected characteristics. They are sex (NOT gender), which is the biological characteristic of being male or female, and gender reassignment (NOT gender identity - they have to have done something, they can't just say they have a gender identity because that is totally unprovable).

What age is this? The Jigsaw scheme says it's DfE compatible but it's hard to tell.

I have sent you a PM.

I think it is important to ask what the school is trying to teach, and then (assuming this is your concern) how they teach about transgender identity.

Transgender identity is not on the curriculum as such, so they don't have to teach about it.

What Jigsaw does is shoehorn a transgender person into a lesson that is about discrimination. In my opinion it therefore addresses neither subject well.

If you want to teach about discrimination, I think there are many many other people who would be a better example and more relatable for children than Roberta Cowell.

If you actually want to teach about transgender identity, then firstly, please explain why, and secondly again is Roberta Cowell (whose surgery is front and centre of every article on her) really age appropriate?

Thank you all. So much appreciated.
I will have a proper look after I’ve put the kids to bed this evening.

I just get so nervous and intimidated in front of people. Hate it so huge thanks rather than just telling me to read previous posts!

I was actually hoping for the lessons plans I asked for and answers to my questions before I went in, but apparently we can discuss it all on Monday so I already feel less prepared than I should be.

Make them wait while you read through the lesson plans and make notes right there in the office

Have a look at this thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4249060-JIgsaw-PHSE-materials-I-have-details

for some detail of the Yr 6 lesson plan on transgender. Note that Jigsaw does mention it could be used earlier if needed (eg in the case of a transgender child in the school, or maybe a transgender family member).

@ConcreteUnderpants

I was actually hoping for the lessons plans I asked for and answers to my questions before I went in, but apparently we can discuss it all on Monday so I already feel less prepared than I should be.

I would turn up, ask for a copy of the lesson plans, then tell them when you’ve had time to read through them you will return with your prepared questions. Don’t be pressurised or bamboozled by them.

Could you take a friend? Another parent maybe. If not, if you feel uncomfortable or need time to consider what they have said, then say so. You are allowed to think things through. Have a phrase handy that will buy you time to think. And good luck.

@Iliketherainbest

Could you take a friend? Another parent maybe. If not, if you feel uncomfortable or need time to consider what they have said, then say so. You are allowed to think things through. Have a phrase handy that will buy you time to think. And good luck.

I was going to suggest the same re taking someone with you if you can. Good luck

Place marking as I am expecting to have a similar meeting soon

So good to see parents challenging schools like this. Lobby groups have had free access to peddle their misinformation at schools and children for far too long and it's good to see adults stepping in and protecting their children. to you all.

I agree that you should take control of the agenda - say you asked for the lesson plans and would like time to read and consider them. After this you'll email your responses to them and the safeguarding lead.

I hope you are able to put these good points across and the meeting goes well.

Wishing you the very best for today. Thank you for standing up for our girls

Thank you!! I’m so nervous, my tummy is going crazy.
Wish I wasn’t so intimidated etc by all of this (childhood issues blah!)

Thing is, we are moving to the other side of the city next month anyway so my child will be going to a different school for a few weeks (and then up to secondary in September), so I feel I’m doing it for all the girls who are still left there. Kind of spurred me on as well.

Thank you all so much for your help. I’ll report back!

This morning i found out that the year 6s have already been shown a video (YouTube I think) basically saying you can be born in the wrong body.
I knew absolutely nothing about this but apparently a few other parents complained. School just apologised and agreed they should’ve consulted parents.

Am fucking livid now. Get out of my fucking way!!

Apologised?? Apologised?? Is that all the school can do? They need to be explaining to all those children that the video was complete garbage, and why.

An apology is not going to fix the misinformation, they need to be putting it right, quickly.

🤞for you today. Give 'em hell

Can you find out exactly which video they watched? And was it provided by Jigsaw (so possibly lots of schools will show it) or one chosen by the teacher.

Disappointing update - my meeting has been postponed and there is now a group one later in the week.
Very annoyed since I’d done all the nervous wees I possibly could, talked to myself lots in the mirror and utterly revved myself up following the video news and support from all of you.

I’ve sent an email to HT asking for more information about this video. Feel I’m on a list as one of ‘those parents’ already.

As an aside though, I asked my child this morning about trans. Came out with the being born into the wrong body trope but when asked if they could tell me what feeling like a girl/boy felt like, child immediately realised how stupid it all sounded!
Hideous propaganda they are feeding our kids with no chance of critical thinking.

A group one later in the week makes me a bit suspicious. Try to make you not speak up or say less. I think you should insist on the original meeting taking place, perhaps claiming you cannot make the group one if that helps.

I agree. From what I have gathered, some parents are there because they object to their child being told about ejaculation, sexting, contraception etc. at 9/10 years old and feel it is up to the parents to tell them about being in a relationship.

I feel my voice will be lost against such matters. I’ll go but am a bit worried I won’t be feeling so brave later in the week and will turn back into my pathetic normal self.

Stop Press.

This is it. I want to cry with rage and despair and contact the Governors now. I am completely flabbergasted.