Geek Girl author on her autism diagnosis

[Tootsweets23]

This is quite a powerful read on her experiences being diagnosed with autism at 39, and how being female impacted on her experiences.

I thought her observations on men and dating so illuminating (and awful as she was assaulted and raped). She says she assumed men would be honest, which made her more vulnerable to terrible men.

She's in the comments responding to people, many are women with adult diagnoses of autism all sharing similar stories.

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/a2c2636e-b7d3-11eb-98e3-d1306649ebf7?shareToken=11ef9268283dd863cc12f999b1eb614d

Gosh, that's powerful. I recognise so much of what she describes. My daughter was diagnosed at the age of 10. She was immensely relieved to have an explanation for why she felt so different from her peers.

Thanks for the share token.

That was an amazing piece. So much empathy for her - the effort of masking must be so exhausting.

I wish there was a helpful guide for parents with daughters to help navigate this.

I loved this article. I hadn’t heard of her before but what a beautifully written piece. Interestingly I don’t think my son is on the spectrum but quite a few things that she said gave me pause. The way he relates to people “did they want to see a piece of igneous rock...they did not”, he gets obsessions and learns everything about a subject before moving onto the next thing, can monologue for ages etc and is academically gifted.
Anyway, she comes across so well, I wish her every happiness.

@SulisMinerva

That was an amazing piece. So much empathy for her - the effort of masking must be so exhausting.

I wish there was a helpful guide for parents with daughters to help navigate this.

I have a daughter like this, diagnosed at 9, and the Girl With the Curly Hair range is really good.

Much of this resonates with me....

Thank you, really interesting article. My girls wish they had been assessed and diagnosed earlier - they struggled through secondary school feeling like they were aliens :/

I identify with almost everything in that article. The dangerous situations I used to put myself in when younger scare me now, I was so naive and trusting in everyone, even complete strangers. Masking is a desperately miserable existence and feels like you are selling your soul... having to keep a lid on your very essence, who you are just to be accepted. It had a devastating effect on my self esteem. I was diagnosed aged 40 - it changed my life and the way I thought about myself. Aged 43 now and it is only the last 3 years I have been able to begin to be happy. Before that, I was depressed, suicidal (with several attempts), self harmed and was anorexic for much of my teenage years. Due to being ‘different’ I was ostracised by my school peers, abused by my parents (mostly my mum) and fell into an abusive marriage. I have always struggled to maintain any sort of job, and muddle through now by working part time, self employed at home. And yet, now I’ve finally picked up the pieces of my life, people are quick to tell me that as ‘high functioning’ my autism doesn’t affect me... what they mean is that they don’t see the struggles.

The more I read about autism in women, the more it makes me wonder about myself. It's a weird feeling.

Thanks for sharing this. It’s a really good explanation of autism in girls. It does beg the question of why on earth the therapist didn’t tell her she thought she was autistic and save her 3 years of wondering what was “wrong” with her.

Thank you for posting this!

That was good to read. Thanks for sharing. I was formally diagnosed a couple of years ago but had suspected I was autistic for a while. I can relate to knowing and feeling from a very early age that I was different and 'broken' in some ways compared to others. In fact I did feel like I was some sort of alien. Does anyone here know the Wrong Planet forum? It's a very apt description.

I had quite a bit of emotional abuse from my mother while growing up because I wasn't conforming to her expectations of what a girl should be like. I can still be very naïve and trusting and take people at their word. I've been very fortunate to have not met many arseholes and abusers.

My teens and twenties was hellish with mental health issues as I struggled to cope with everything. I always felt internally like things were falling apart but still managed to keep some outward semblance of normality.

There's still very little support for women who are diagnosed later in life. I'm starting to struggle with a full-time job but I don't know what else I can do about it.

Anyway it's a good thing that awareness is growing and more women are able to seek out a diagnosis these days.

Interesting article. Thanks for sharing :)
I'm probably autistic but dd is diagnosed. I'm hoping that a relatively early diagnosis will be key to not having the MH struggles that so many late diagnosed women report.

What a brilliant article. So beautifully written.
Anne of Green Gables is autistic?

Ooh. I am someone who is in the comments. Not saying where.

My autistic daughter told me about this last night. She loved Geek Girl when she was younger and now realises why she identified so much with the main character.

Thank you for posting this. My DD (11) is about to get an autism assessment and I'm hoping that a diagnosis now will help her avoid mental health struggles later on.

Bloody hell, she is describing me!

Dh was diagnosed recently at age 47. Dd and ds are both autistic. The all reckon I am too. I'm not so sure but I do have a heck of a lot of traits!

But girls don’t get noticed as often, because we don’t fit the male-prescribed, boy-researched, media-outlined mould

so true. is there a campaign to change this?

Thank you for sharing the article OP.

I could have written most of it myself, only not so well. Like the author of the article, I was diagnosed with autism later in life (in my early 50's) after years and years of being ridiculed, shamed and dismissed by medical professionals.

Eventually a chance encounter with a forceful consultant (about an other matter) where he identified my autistic traits within a short space of time, meant my GP could no longer wriggle out of a referral for an assessment.

Masking is exhausting. The feeling of being an alien has never left me. I struggle with so much and mask in order to get by in everyday life. I'm one of the fortunate women that has support from a autism specialist mentor at work. She really helps me to navigate personal relationships, hidden meanings and understand the games people play.

As usual males have the monopoly in their autism being spotted earlier on in life. Girls/women, me included, are told 'you can't be autistic, you're a woman', so with medical professionals falling way short of recognising this condition, a lot of work is needed to highlight and drum home that it's not just a male condition - it affects females too!

Some brilliant points in this thread about girls and women not being diagnosed. This issue needs to be fed back to the women's health strategy call for evidence consultation.

www.gov.uk/government/consultations/womens-health-strategy-call-for-evidence

We had our DD assessed via camhs when she in primary (year 5) but they decided she wasn't adhd or asd. Now age 15, after her mental health seriously spiralled downwards this year, they know think it went undiagnosed and she definitely has asd and possibly adhd as well.
I think she was too 'well behaved' in primary to get the diagnosis despite her obvious difficulties.

Its so frustrating as we've missed years of support when which could have supported her wellbeing and understanding of herself.

Its tricky as a parent when you are fairly sure something is up, but the professionals are saying something else - it makes you question whether you are imagining it.

It's a really interesting article, and I'm glad she got her diagnosis. One thing gave me pause, though - fictional characters like Lisa Simpson are meant to be autistic? Surely someone can be academic, nerdy and socially awkward without being autistic?

That's a powerful piece of writing.

Thank you so much for sharing that article. It's powerful and amazing. I see some similarities with my ASD dd...

I really hope she manages to form a relationship, she sounds so lovely.

NotTerf yes it's important not to portray clever, sensible women as something out of the ordinary.