I am sick of this shit

[bitheby]

I have been trying to conceive for 2 years and at over 40, single and after a miscarriage last year, I am emotional, and managing the impact of possibly never having children.

I am in various Facebook groups for people considering or undertaking IVF and made this comment.

Just had the following response. I've had it. Perhaps rather immaturely I refused to edit my language and have left the group. There was nothing factually incorrect about what I wrote.

[Letsgetreadytocrumble]

Gestational carriers..... Oh. Do. Fuck. Off. Dear.

Sorry for what you are going through OP

[Lonel]

I'm sorry OP. I would be tempted to play them at their own game and say you were talking about women because they are the only cases you have heard about and isn't it rather transphobic to speak on behalf of a group you are not part of? Perhaps they would like to reconsider their response.

[toffeebutterpopcorn]

What was wrong with the comment? I think most of the alphabities understand biology well enough..

[Lonel]

What do you expect?

Maybe some human compassion rather than a twattish comeback? What on earth do these people expect to achieve - they certainly aren't there to support anyone if they're more interested in policing language.

[andyoldlabour]

JarJarQ

And your response is totally lacking in empathy, similar to the one the OP faced.

[Theunamedcat]

I would have said sorry to be clear the women ive personally spoken to have reported this issue and seen where they went from there they can hardly insist you put in people you haven't discussed it with can they?

[Cleanandpress]

@JarJarQ

You went to a LGBTQ+ group and made twattish comments. What do you expect? Move on.

Writing the word woman is "twattish"?

Are you mad?

[Blackopal]

JarJarQ Op was part of a group talking about difficulties WOMEN face.
Other peoples need to force us all to pretend Emporer is wearing clothes is not more important than those difficulties, or certainly should not be.

[WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo]

Writing the word woman is "twattish"?

Are you mad?

My ex quite like the word "twat" when referring to my cunt/fanny/vagina. So in that sense women are quite literally twattish

@bitheby.

[ErrolTheDragon]

@JarJarQ

You went to a LGBTQ+ group and made twattish comments. What do you expect? Move on.

The only 'twattish response' (to the OPs perfectly reasonable question) was the one using the horrible term 'gestational carriers' .
OP. I'd hope someone would tell that person that its their language which needs editing.

[WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo]

Writing the word woman is "twattish"?

Are you mad?

My ex quite like the word "twat" when referring to my cunt/fanny/vagina. So in that sense women are quite literally twattish

@bitheby.

[BlackAlys]

@bitheby

You deserve so much better.

[cakedays]

@JarJarQ

You went to a LGBTQ+ group and made twattish comments. What do you expect? Move on.

That's an amazing own goal, @JarJarQ, to use the word "twattish" - a word that's a derogatory reference to female genitalia.

Would replacing "women" with "gestational carriers" or "vagina-havers" be "twattish"?

Perhaps we could cut out the middle man (oops, sorry for the bioessentialism there) and go straight to the nub, as it were. Would "twat-havers" be okay? "Some twat-havers have reported problems with their periods during the pandemic." That should be just fine, no?

[RufustheBadgeringReindeer]

OPs post wasnt twattish in the slightest

How on earth is ‘womens periods are affected by covid’ twattish

I’ll put money on the poster being completely unable to explain why...because, ironically, its bollocks

[RufustheBadgeringReindeer]

bitheby

💐

[Theunamedcat]

@JarJarQ

You went to a LGBTQ+ group and made twattish comments. What do you expect? Move on.

It was an "inclusive" group women are allowed

[languising]

@JarJarQ

You went to a LGBTQ+ group and made twattish comments. What do you expect? Move on.

What?

[PaleGreenGhost]

@JarJarQ

You went to a LGBTQ+ group and made twattish comments. What do you expect? Move on.

No. That's not what happened.

The behaviour you describe, using privilege to force oneself into spaces uninvited, is not a behaviour commonly exhibited by females.*

*Unless perhaps you include straight females who identify as queer turning up on grindr etc

[ChewtonRoad]

bitheby

I have a good friend who is a psychologist with a sub-speciality in women's reproductive health issues. She's also had IVF and experience in "easy" pregnancy as well as very difficult pregnancy.

Her "inclusive language" is quite straightforward: she works with women, the AHF kind. She's never met a "gestational carrier" and when I mentioned the phrase she asked why the fuck she'd use it when only AHF fall pregnant.

As for JarJarQ's post, ODFOD.

[toffeebutterpopcorn]

That was a super fast deletion.

[ArabellaScott]

I'm so sorry, OP. How utterly crass that comment is.

[bitheby]

I'm bisexual. I am fully entitled to be in an LGBTQ group. Part of the reason that I don't have children already is that my serious relationships in my 20s were with women.

And yes they there women so I'm allowed to say that too.

I didn't say anything wrong.

[thinkingaboutLangCleg]

I’m sorry you’re going through this, OP. Well done on speaking up.