He/Him

[Tibtom]

First time I have had someone reply with this after their name. I know the whole pronouns business so perhaps it is a surprise it has taken until now. But the thing that struck me is it is not a neutral statement; it comes across as a stamp of authority/control. We live in a sexist society where is it acknowledged additional supports need to be in place for women. Yet here we are in a situation where men proclaim their status in their emails. "I am male, I am from the oppressor class, I am your lord and master"

Is this just me?

Not least because in this case it is about identifying with womanliness inside, whatever that means.

Any ideas how to answer them without flagging myself up as the anti Christ?

I think I might say "he/him" and then either it goes away (though they might call you he/him!) or they challenge you and then you can say if you already know what my pronouns are / don't believe me, why did you ask?

Thr only man I know who has done it has a beard and a name like Dave. He is lovely to work with though so I am assuming he's doing it as he's been told to #bekind.

If it's an email from a professional, I increase my fees on the spot, adding my own personal "Tosser tax". If it's a friend... well, it's cheerio chum

My autistic son was asked this recently.
His rather nihilistic response:
"I have no pronouns.
Do not refer to me in any way."

@NiceGerbil

In s sexist org with a huge pay gap it would seem to me to be a bit... Yeah. What the OP said.

Exactly. "I am considerably more male than yow"

Bergamotte you have educated me/I.

I am rather taken with bink/bonk and will consider making up my own special snow/flake pronouns and changing them at will.

Maybe pay/gap or redundancy/candidate or maternity/leave which is what she/her signifies to many clueless wombles in the workforce.

I would assume they'd been pressured or shamed into doing it like many of us.

DP has it in his signature block, he is senior in his organisation.
He is trying very hard to make their organisation a more diverse and inclusive place as its dominated by white males. I know he is not doing it to demonstrate authority.
Hes doing it because he's been told by the LGBT group at work that it will make it easier for trans people to disclose their identity in his team. A marker of being a "safe" person if you will.

It makes it really complicated. If I had to put pronouns on my signature I honestly don't know what I'd put, I don't feel female I just am, and I'd love to simply identify out of my oppression. But I can't.

She/her is something society has given me, not something I've chosen

@WyldStallions

My autistic son was asked this recently. His rather nihilistic response: "I have no pronouns. Do not refer to me in any way."

That's brilliant.

Any ideas how to answer them without flagging myself up as the anti Christ?
Paddington state.
Followed by questioning.
When are third person pronouns used?
Why are third person pronouns used?
Why would you need to know my pronouns?
If you teach English
Why are pronouns the only part of speech anyone seems to remember? Can they suggest ways to make subordinate clauses and exclamations this memorable?

A fella I work with did it too and I instantly lost all respect for him.

Veggie box delivery CEO (Abel and Cole) has she/her in her newsletter profile. Utterly pointless wankery. I would love to know the thought process that went behind why on earth she thought her customers would give a flying fuck what her pronouns are? It's about as useful as knowing her star sign...

My DH has it in his work email now. He works in a male dominated field. I also work in a male dominated field. I’ve raised this issue with him several times focusing on how he is making it harder for women in a male dominated industry. He won’t change his signature. It’s an edict from his boss and it’s not a battle he is willing to fight. My point that he is only free to not choose to fight that battle because he is a man fell on deaf ears.

I would normally consider my DH very enlightened and distinctly feminist, but on this issue, he has really bought into the “it’s kind” argument.

If ever asked by the organisation I work for to do this, I'm considering either replying with 'That triggers my uncertainty about my gender and seeing anyone put pronouns in their signature also triggers it - have you considered the impact of this?' OR putting 'Pronouns: I. Don't. Care'.

I'm up for enforced stars signs instead.
It'd be interesting to see the sweeping generalisations born of that:

Arrogant Aries
Stubborn Taurus
Attention seeking Leo

Of course it's all rubbish, DH is an introvert Leo, but it makes about as much sense and relevance as gender woo.

The comparison to star signs is excellent

Hate all of this she/her stuff also or the worst one is they/them. I don't understand why people need to do this? I find it really odd and I hope my kids grow up normal and not feeling the need to do it.

They've either been captured, or they're a prat.

I mean, it couldn't possibly be that he just wants to show some solidarity with a vulnerable minority could it?

So hilarious watching you trying to turn every single trans inclusive act or statement into something dark and sinister.

Typical Aquarius!

Lots of women have experience with males making sure you know they're "male". See it all the time with privileged classes - know your place etc.

They're just "virtue signalling prat" to me- whether male or female. Prime example was Jeremy Corbyn.

@Shizuku

I mean, it couldn't possibly be that he just wants to show some solidarity with a vulnerable minority could it?

So hilarious watching you trying to turn every single trans inclusive act or statement into something dark and sinister.

I'm sort of with you / not with you on this.

I personally think stating your pronouns is a risible act of virtue signalling nonsense but I'm really not seeing that it's aggressive, territorial pissing, telling you am a man or anything else dark and sinister.

If you work in a male dominated industry, it doesn't half emphasise that.

It's also very sexist.

Academics who have a PhD and so use Dr rather than mr or mrs, finally have a levels of equality in emails and letters. Their sex can be anon.

Whack a bloody pronoun on and all that goes. There's been studies on sexist responses to male or female names.