I have to say having children has made me rethink boys and girls and their relative strengths. I have a ds who is one school year younger than his sister and they are yr 3 and yr 4. They have spent the last year or so doing exactly the same activities, thank you lockdown.
I’ve had to have a conversation with him that because he is a boy he can’t play rough and tumble like he wants with his sister(s) - he has two - because theyre not as physically capable or wanting to as him.
I’ve had to explain to my upset dd that even though I’ve banged on and on about how boys and girls are equal since she was born, that eventually boys are stronger and faster than girls.
I’ve been honest and said to them both I didn’t think it would materialise before puberty. I feel like on some level I’ve been fed a myth and I’ve passed it on.
In the wake of the me too scandal I’ve made sure to explain how strong boys can scare girls to my son. That showing off strength between boys when they play can scare girls. I’ve had to tell him he has to use his strength to help his sisters not hurt them. Which so far has improved their play but is making my stomach turn in knots that I’ve basically turned my kids into stereotypes of boy = hero, girl = pathetic princess who needs rescuing. The latter more so his younger sister who he will escort, carry, assist in all matter of things, despite my efforts to get her to help herself.
So I do think that if we don’t acknowledge this difference in ability at a younger age, a lot of boys are going to grow up unaware of their natural physical abilities over girls. Perhaps on some level why teens and young people think there is no problem in trans people competing in women’s sport is because they have been educated to believe there is little difference in the sexes that can easily be remedied by medication.
I’m in my 30s and I grew up believing I could do anything a man could because I am tall and quite broad framed. I went into a physically demanding career and it rapidly became apparent I’d have to work ten times harder just to be average. I wish I’d really truly known this at 18 and Perhaps saved myself a lot of misery believing myself to be useless.
In trying to pursue equality for the sexes we seem unable to have a proper dialogue with children (who grow up into adults) about the fact that men on the whole are stronger than women. I knew of course that big, strong males were always going to be stronger. I was that naive to think that much shorter men would not be stronger than me. Media representations of tiny actresses beating up men do not help.
But yes I totally get where you are coming from. It’s not until you see it for yourself with your own children do you finally see the truth about the difference between the sexes.