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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

14 yo girl broken bones after playing rugby against a 14 yo boy.

115 replies

LastRoloIsMine · 17/04/2021 14:01

This happened this week.

A friend of my DDs met up with their mixed sex friendship group to play rugby.

They have done this since primary school and its the same group of friends. Its not a match and none of them play as a hobby they just mess around but do tackle each other.

They haven't done this in over a year due to covid ( and probably shouldn't have done it yesterday as restrictions are still in place Hmm) but decided to resume their game from last year. As I said they have done this for years and the only injuries have been grazed knees and a few bruises.

Sadly one girl was tackled by one of the boys and it resulted in her foot being broken in 4 places!
The boy was distraught. He's a lovely lad and not aggressive in any way. My DD told me that he has grown in the last year, he's much taller and stronger than he used to be but still a "skinny" lad. He kept saying he didn't mean to tackle her so hard, he didn't realise how strong he was.
DD said he knocked her clean off her feet, he wasn't running fast it is just a friendly game but the injured girl said it was like running in to a wall.
She recovering at home and doesn't blame the young lad at all as it was an accident.

This just highlights to me the dangers of mixed sex contact sport. These kids don't train, are not professionals and we're only playing but the boys strength caused injury can you imagine what a professional or semi professional males could do to females when tackling?

I worry for the safety of female rugby players and fear it will take a woman to die or have life changing injuries for the governing bodies see sense.

OP posts:
IncomingBBQSeason · 17/04/2021 21:07

The first time ds did contact rugby was when he was about 11, he was rather small and was paired with one of the larger boys in his year group. He lasted about 5 minutes before he broke his wrist while learning to tackle.

I can quite imagine a 14 girl faring rather badly after being tackled by the same age boy.

WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 17/04/2021 21:11

@Shizuku

Think maybe this should be in lgbt children

I’ll ask if it can be moved for you OP

Why? Its not about lgbt children Hmm
SmokedDuck · 17/04/2021 21:12

@InvisibleDragon

Touch rugby is an option, it's lots of fun and good for mixed sex or age groups.

I played mixed tag rugby for a while. The male/female imbalance in speed and power is huge. It's supposed to be non-contact, but big guys can bend the rules by running straight at a smaller (female) defensive player. It's technically not allowed. It's either move or get totally wiped out.

Tag rugby also has different scoring rules for male and female players in a mixed team. A female try scores 2 points, a male try only 1. That's to try and overcome the female disadvantage and avoid male players just passing between each other and leaving the women out totally.

Sure. With a casual game like the OP is talking about, I think you can modify the rules in whatever way works. Often the people have really different sets of abilities on several different areas so you just have to play in such a way as to accommodate other people and make it fun.
RabbitOfCaerbannog · 17/04/2021 21:14

@Shizuku

Think maybe this should be in lgbt children

I’ll ask if it can be moved for you OP

Do explain
CorvusPurpureus · 17/04/2021 21:19

Actually, my 6' 3 built like the proverbial brick shithouse Ds barrelled through a door a few days ago when I was on the other side & wasn't expecting it, & I was on my arse before I'd had time to squawk, never mind 'fall properly'.

It was completely unintentional (we were both wandering the house in the pitch black in the small hours getting water) & quite funny to be fair - he'd stomped into the kitchen not expecting to collide with me going the other way. I bounced off him & went sprawling, much to his horror, & not hurt at all.

I'm a strapping 6 footer myself. I have daughters of similar height & heft. We'd have collided with each other to mutual surprise, sure.

But Ds? It was like being hit by a surprised friendly King Kong. If he'd been travelling at any speed up a rugby pitch, any woman he collided with would have been absolutely fucking flattened.

Come on. We all know this.

BillyTodd · 17/04/2021 21:22

I think the phrase is "folded like a deckchair"

334bu · 17/04/2021 21:40

The idea of 14 year old boys playing rugby against 14 year old girls is utterly ridiculous. My own son was a well built 6footer at 14 and he was not the only one in his year group. He and his peers would have pulverised his twin sister in a rugby tackle. Anyone saying that there should be mixed rugby at this age is an idiot.

Erkrie · 17/04/2021 21:43

Think maybe this should be in lgbt children
I’ll ask if it can be moved for you OP

It's not about LGBT children. It's about whether girls are safe playing contact sports with boys. So entirely appropriate in feminism. Maybe try reading the thread :-)

RabbitOfCaerbannog · 17/04/2021 21:45

Come on. We all know this.

Yes, yes we do.

Original poster
LastRoloIsMine · 17/04/2021 21:51

Shizuku

I have been on mn for over 10 years. I posted in this topic because I chose to. I dont need your guidance thanks.

OP posts:
Helleofabore · 17/04/2021 21:59

@Shizuku

Think maybe this should be in lgbt children

I’ll ask if it can be moved for you OP

Well, we don’t know if any of the children involved were LGBT. So why would we move it?

Please do check, though I am sure it is appropriate for us to discuss the dangers of teenage girls playing contact sports with teenage boys who are going through male puberty. There is a good lesson for all parents there really, isn’t there?

eaglejulesk · 17/04/2021 22:06

If she broke her foot it will have more to do with the angle she landed at then anything the boy directly did.

Yes, it's the girl's fault for landing wrong.

Nowhere did the poster say it was the girl's fault, they were merely pointing out that an injury such as that could have just as easily happened in an all girls, or all boys, game - and I tend to agree with them.

persistentwoman · 17/04/2021 22:08

Goodness - why on earth is someone trying to stop feminists, women, mothers, including those of us who are lesbian mothers discussing the risks to girls from males in an inappropriate mixed sex sport? Confused

IamnotH · 17/04/2021 22:10

I still don't know why people are talking about contact sport, RFU guidelines etc. The OP has said he daughter was mucking around in the park with friends.

A post about "my DD was mucking around with her mates and a rugby ball in the park and broke her foot" isn't as sensational though is it? Hmm

firedog · 17/04/2021 22:13

@IamnotH

I still don't know why people are talking about contact sport, RFU guidelines etc. The OP has said he daughter was mucking around in the park with friends.

A post about "my DD was mucking around with her mates and a rugby ball in the park and broke her foot" isn't as sensational though is it? Hmm

This. It wasn't a rugby game or session. It was mates mucking about in a park. RFU has strict guidance
Original poster
LastRoloIsMine · 17/04/2021 22:15

Iam They were playing rugby. It is a contact sport. Granted it was not a professional game but living where we do means we know how to play.

OP posts:
RabbitOfCaerbannog · 17/04/2021 22:18

I still don't know why people are talking about contact sport, RFU guidelines etc

Shall we expand upon it, for the hell of it? Do you think rugby should be mixed sex?

IamnotH · 17/04/2021 22:21

@RabbitOfCaerbannog

I still don't know why people are talking about contact sport, RFU guidelines etc

Shall we expand upon it, for the hell of it? Do you think rugby should be mixed sex?

No, if you RTFT you will see that my DD plays rugby at county level. I have responded to the RFU survey and vehemently oppose mixed sex (or gender) rugby.

But that is not what had happened with the OP's daughter

RabbitOfCaerbannog · 17/04/2021 22:26

The op is also talking about the disparity in physical development between female and male adolescents.

Toddlerteaplease · 17/04/2021 22:31

It's rugby. Broken bones happen.

R0wantrees · 17/04/2021 22:35

Recognition of the risks of serious injury in rugby means that children are not allowed to play out of their age group, mixed sex is prohibited post mini rugby and additional rules limit games between players of different skills and experience.
Player welfare is taken very seriously.

334bu · 17/04/2021 22:37

It's rugby. Broken bones happen

Sure they do and they'll happen a lot more if boys are allowed to play against girls and guess what it won't be the boys with the broken bones.

Original poster
LastRoloIsMine · 17/04/2021 22:39

For all those saying this was mucking about it means nothing.....you are are so missing the point.

Professional rugby players are super fit. They are strong. They are hard.
These were untrained unfit kids just playing but the strong athletic girl of last year was trampled by a boy she used to beat last year. He ihit puberty. He is bigger and stronger.

OP posts:
334bu · 17/04/2021 22:40

OP you are quite right males should not be allowed to play in female rugby and anyone who says they should is being ridiculous.

IamnotH · 17/04/2021 22:44

@LastRoloIsMine

For all those saying this was mucking about it means nothing.....you are are so missing the point.

Professional rugby players are super fit. They are strong. They are hard.
These were untrained unfit kids just playing but the strong athletic girl of last year was trampled by a boy she used to beat last year. He ihit puberty. He is bigger and stronger.

Please don't tell me I'm missing the point. Your DD had a choice to muck about in a park with her friends. My DD may have no choice but to play against biological males or give up a sport she is very good at and enjoys.

I'm sorry that your DD was hurt but this was likely an injury sustained because she's not trained, completely different to the potentially life threatening injuries female players will be at risk of in mixed sex teams

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