Need a handhold... Made a stand in a public arena

[Womansisterdaughtermother]

Hello
I've been lurking here for yrs and made a v public stand against gender ideology today after mulling it over for about a week. I feel sick to my core now and was wondering did anyone else feel similarly or if anyone would be able to pm me for a chat....

Well done OP.

Thanks vix

Well done. I was recently called a t**f and transphobe on SM for liking some feminist stuff - I felt totally shaken up and oddly ashamed as well as furious. (Such internalised victim-blaming!) But ultimately I couldn't get away from the conviction that I'd done the right thing. People need to do it! Anyway a big handhold from me. Courage calls to courage everywhere.

Avoid engaging in any and all discussions that feature the word trans. Everything you do (I assume) is for women so keep every comment about women.
“This is about women and girls’ rights”
“but what about...”
“It’s about women and girls, human females, who are disadvantaged by means of their sex.”
“But .... are ......”
“Human females, discriminated therefore protected on the grounds of biology.”
Repeat til it’s necessary to block or walk away.
You are in the right and (I assume) wouldn’t discriminate against trans rights, so hold the line that you are simply, firmly advocating FOR women.

I've bought my Hibo Wardere t shirt as a stand. I am of course afraid to wear it outside the house though.

Here's some words from a wise woman:
“It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.”

I like the advice you've given and will remember it @MrsWooster

Stay strong & feel proud of yourself OP.

Thanks V much Mrswooster. That advice I will remember for the future...wishing I had had it before today

It is hard.

As above: it is only about women.

If others wish to make the claim that caring about women or women having rights is an unacceptable threat in some way then that's their case to make and defend.

Part of what I did was object to policy that all members be encouraged to signal their preferred pronouns.

It can be tough can't it....

My experience was pretty mixed if I'm honest.

Most people (though generally privately) agreed with me and were pleased someone was brave enough to speak out - though few felt able to do that themselves.

Some didn't want to commit/comment either way.

Others predictably started chanting back Trans Ideology and making claims of transphobia (even though I'd been very clear, measured and careful and my focus was women's/children's rights).

I'm glad I did it overall, though some friendships have suffered/been lost. I frankly decided that if anyone who knew me thought I'd suddenly undergone a personality transplant and turned into a raging transphobe then they didn't actually know me well at all or have any respect for me so were better out of my life.

The issue as I see it is that the ideology has so many holes in it the only come back is full on attack. Reasonable discussion isn't an option because there's no argument that can't be effectively countered.

The problem with that is I think like others having taken the first steps in RL I now feel I might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb.....so in a way they are "radicalising" me further if I'm honest (though frankly I don't think anything I have to say is radical at all - you cant change sex and sex based rights should be protected).

Good on you, OP! It’s scary being “out” sometimes, but every time I do it, I get messages from others who agree and didn’t feel confident to say anything. That gives me heart.

signal their preferred pronouns

I laugh every time I read this sort of instruction now.

Well done for coming out publicly. I think it's clear that the tide is now turning so I suspect that most of your friends and family will agree with you, though some may only be able to show their support privately if they are working for a very woke organisation.

Your daughters are lucky to have such a thoughtful mum.

What kind of public are we talking?

for you Op. Be strong, it;s done now and there will be more backing you than shouting loudly and aggressively (because that's what they do) - well done

I've done it on a professional forum. Was publicly called a transphobe by six of my professional peers. I stood my ground and asked them to demonstrate where the transphobia was - they couldn't. It boiled down to a typo (I hadn't put a space between "trans" and "woman") and that we fundamentally disagreed with each other. I had thought that disagreement on professional forums was the point of professional forums.

Anyway, I had about a dozen emails from other peers saying that they agreed and wanted to speak up but were too scared.

I am expecting to be reported to my governing body at some point, but, to be honest, I'm fairly well protected professionally and a bit of me would relish it.

I am not transphobic. I say things which are evidence based but uncomfortable truths, that is not a hate crime.

Well done OP. I'm middle aged with few career ambitions beyond my 'bit of a job' in the NHS - and very fortunate to be in the position where I can speak out (have made a small stand at work but not been pulled up on it as haven't said anything offensive or untrue).

Wouldn't be able to otherwise and DH is always very careful not to 'like' my social media posts.

Solidarity with anyone making a stand against this. Courage OP.

Handhold, OP.

I've also started to speak up more publically about it. It may have impact on my career. I've thought long and hard and to be honest, I would rather lose work than compromise my principles.

The fact that I feel concerned to speak up shows me that it's even more important that I do so, if that makes sense. It's a shocking situation that we are unable to voice reasonable points of view in a democratic country.

The more of us that speak up the easier it becomes.

I was very heartened recently that in a facebook group, when I spoke up, dozens of women posted to agree. Polite, well-informed, and refusing to go along with the nonsensical claims made by various people trying to argue that TWAW etc. Eventually the post was deleted, but women won't be silent. We know what's happening. We are half of the population, OP.

Thank you for standing up for all the women out here.

I also plucked up the courage to question something recently, but never received a response. I don't know where to go with it now.

I love this Medium article, posted by Lorelei who you may or may not know from GC Twitter. It's about the fear and shock and loneliness many women feel when they first speak up about this.

medium.com/@hatpinwoman/i-used-to-be-a-terf-until-i-educated-myself-f78d81e08ce

One thing to add re: my experience was that the people who shouted the loudest against me were surprisingly (or perhaps not?) ill informed of the facts.

For example:

• puberty blockers are just a pause button and have zero side effects

• cross sex hormones (and reduced testosterone) negate any and all advantage TW have in sport

• unisex toilets are no more or less safe for women than single sex toilets

• most TW have "fully" transitioned

• TW are far more likely to be murdered than women

And so on......

It's like they've drunk the Kool Aid, liked it, signed up to promote it......but have never bothered to read the label and are thus ignorant about the high sugar content, e-numbers and artificial colour....and get ranty at you when you inform them of the ingredients...