She sought out a country where the rights of women are of little concern to legislators and where buying babies is not against the law.
Beresiner mentioned that this came up in her meeting with the social worker prior to the parental order being granted. I always wondered how that would play out in that situation, how you would explain how you went abroad to access commercial surrogacy (California was it?) which is illegal in the U.K. but in the end you didn't buy a baby you just paid 'expenses'. I wondered if you might fudge it a bit and say how you suddenly realised how exploitative it was and decided to stay on home turf for the 'altruistic' version.
SB has been open about the whole process for the purposes of the column so we know she had multiple egg donors on Russia (known for its excellent human rights record and protection of women - 22 women die every day I hear) and has one embryo on ice there presumably for Baby no.2 (but she would need another surrogate mother/womb to rent unless Rebecca will go another round).
As Baby M was already here, is related to Mr B and no parental order has ever been rejected by a judge I do wonder what you would have to do to raise eyebrows.
From the column:
For Mr B it goes against every fibre in his being to sit by and let someone smack-talk his wife and now, worse, his baby. Of course it does, because it simply isn’t compatible with how we function in the real world — they wouldn’t be walking up to Mr B and shouting abuse in his face. “Why is it we have to go through so much personal verification to make a payment online,” he asked me last week, looking up from his phone, “but when you want to post an abusive comment you don’t have to link yourself to your identity? If you feel the need to say it, own it.”
It's possible people email her directly and anonymously to say Baby M shouldn't be here or other awful things but I don't think that would be the tone of the emails. Surely it's about her actions and that of her husband, the baby didn't ask for any of this and is not accountable for the circumstances of her birth. If anyone was targeting a baby he or she would obviously be insane.
And
"The opportunity for open discussion is important, particularly on a topic as widely misunderstood as surrogacy, and it’s fine to write what you want, but let it be known who wrote it and what kind of person you are. Even better, why can’t we just choose kindness, especially now?"
Well we could afford kindness to babies but putting that to one side, I take her point and there is nothing I say here I wouldn't say to SB's face or anyone else who bought a baby (or who sold one, though I would probably have more questions) and I've seen SB engage with those posting comments and that is all moderated so I don't know maybe don't give out your email address? SB would probably consider anything mildly critical as 'abuse' as it would be disagreement...perhaps she would call me a SERF -Surrogacy Exclusionary Radical Feminist...
It's a new one on me and a badge I would wear proudly!
I would like to know what Rebecca's expenses included though, the money has never been discussed, that remains off limits, it's almost as if some things are private.