OK, I'll bite and out myself as a man.
I agree with @FamilyOfAliens that men can't be feminists. Or rather, shouldn't be feminists. I think politics is something you do, not just believe in. I see the centre of feminism as being the right of women to organise as a class to defend their own interests and rights. As they perceive them, not as others perceive them. So I can agree with feminists, I can support feminists and I can, on specific common issues, be an ally. But I do not describe myself as a feminist. Also, I notice that most of the men (and quite a lot of the women) I know who call themselves feminists seem to spend a lot of time telling women they are the wrong sort of feminist, particularly those who subscribe to the nonsensical gobbledegook of Intersectionalism. I think that shows a lack of self awareness.
I hate bullying and coercion. I hate being told what to do by people whose whole demeanour reeks of entitlement, whether of the left or the right. It sets my skin on edge and makes my teeth crawl. I was an anarchist in the 70s, reading Kropotkin, Herzen, Colin Ward, radicals like Tom Paine, bloody minded awkward socialists like Orwell and liberals like Mill and Berlin, anyone who wrote clearly and made sense, which ruled out a lot of people. I wanted to be a Marxist, but didn't understand why Marx's journalism (which I loved) didn't seem to reflect his political economy (which I found really tiresome). I tried to join the Communist Party at one point, but they wouldn't have me. So I went to the SWP, and I just didn't like them. I found them creepy, too fashionable and obsessive about fitting in and conforming. The kind of feminism I was exposed to at the time consisted of left wing women shouting at me in much the same way as the men did. The reason for this, of course, was that the other feminists were away on their own doing their feminism. I didn't realise that till later.
I left UK, after Thatcher was elected, in sheer depression, and ended up in an unashamedly authoritarian country with much more explicit gender roles than this country. I married my wife there, and we now have two sons and one (delightful) grandson. We were there for well over 20 years and came back in the late noughties. It was very clear to me there that the men were insulated from the real world by the services of women. I was considered deeply odd for doing ironing and cooking, but (and this is an important point) I was forgiven for being odd as I was a foreigner, and so had strange, incomprehensible foreign ways. Local men were not forgiven for transgressions. I had one friend who once shamefacedly admitted that he helped his wife wax her legs, but please don't tell anyone because he'd never live it down.
Then I came back here and I saw that the same is actually true in this country as well. We are just more hypocritical about it and disguise it better. You look at professional women power dressing their way through careers, and young women happily enjoying girls nights out and you think how much more advanced we are. But then families and babies and mortgages hit and you realise that, again, men are insulated from reality by the services of the women in their lives to a much greater extent than it appears.
Over the past ten years we have been busy. Mrs Speculation and I became home owners in our fifties, and have both had problems integrating into the UK career system in middle age. So I have not been political active very much over the past ten years, though I did join the Lib Dems in 2010, and resigned in disgust in 2018. Other than that my activism has mainly consisted in throwing darts at the superficiality and illogical excesses of the Grauniad, a paper I grew up with. But I have not voted Tory yet...though the way things are going I don't rule it out.
But what has fired me up was the reaction to JKR's essay last June. I have always been a fan, badgering my sons to finish each new episode of Harry Potter as they were published so that I could have a go, and I have always considered there is more profundity at Hogwarts than in Foucault (yes, I have tried. Really, I have tried). So I was not surprised by the quality of the essay she wrote. But the reactions were to me incomprehensible. Particularly my older son, who was casually dismissive ("Yes, I'm not saying she is an evil person, but she's clearly transphobic.". "How?" I asked, "Where is the transphobia?". I am still waiting for an answer, because it's not a conversation he's interested in having, and there are babies and mortgages and families in the way now.)
So I ended up here, lurking on this board, reading and watching a lot of the recommendations and links. I have been impressed by the clarity and astonishingly even temper of Dr Stock, the clarity and delightfully uneven temper of many others. I've been introduced to the TV of Graham Linehan, which I had never seen before, but love. I have grappled with the bland, inconsequential waffle of the Jammy Dodgers of this world. And the sheer intelligence of the discussion here is something I think is unmatched on any other public board I know of.
I read "Cynical theories", and it made complete sense to me. But the book which has impressed me most, and which more than anything else made me realise that you lot are, well, basically right, is "Invisible women" by Caroline Criado Perez. That sort of clear, careful laying out of the situation is very powerful. You can feel the anger there, but she never lets it obscure the material she is presenting.
I will continue lurking, and not posting much. When I post it will be for my own clarification, mainly. This post has been extensive because you asked about my journey and that, more or less, is what it has been.