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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Look at what they do, not what they say

38 replies

parentalhelpline · 16/03/2021 09:43

From the 'Fess' FB page for my DC's university (where students can post anonymously). I find this so predictable and so depressing.

Look at what they do, not what they say
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334bu · 16/03/2021 09:47

Exactly.

alkanet · 16/03/2021 09:56

What gets to me is her so called friends rejecting her and calling her a liar.

parentalhelpline · 16/03/2021 09:58

And Person X talking about being subject to misogyny. The cheek of it.

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nauticant · 16/03/2021 10:19

Does anyone else read this, then read/hear about the current uproar around women not being safe in this culture, and then feel like a tension headache is coming on?

crispinglovershighkick · 16/03/2021 10:21

And yet no change of heart, the ideology is the tail wagging the dog.

WendyTestaburger · 16/03/2021 10:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

parentalhelpline · 16/03/2021 10:36

nauticant and WendyTestaburger: a massive headache, that only gets bigger when I think about how on earth anyone can get them to understand what is going on when the logic is 'Person X isn't a guy so they couldn't possibly have done this. Without naming the university, these are clever young people.

I know some of this age group see it, but the groupthink is too overwhelming. My DC was saying last night that they can't admit to liking Harry Potter because they don't want to become a social outcast. They were joking, but there's some truth to it.

I really feel for this young woman. 😥

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Wrongsideofhistorymyarse · 16/03/2021 11:00

How awful for her.

Erkrie · 16/03/2021 11:05

That is awful.

Beamur · 16/03/2021 11:06

I think you do have to be a certain age to understand fully that unwanted sexual advances are an act of violence, not related to genuine attraction or sexual orientation.
I think the 'be kind' message has left too many young woman (and some men) with very poor ideas about personal boundaries.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 16/03/2021 11:12

Yes, "be kind" can fuck right off.
Funny how it only seems to said to women and girls.

WendyTestaburger · 16/03/2021 11:18

Oh my post was deleted.

I've had about 3 hours sleep (thanks to toddler) so this pisses me off more than it should. I can't think what I said that was verboten though?

I mentioned being surprised that my gay male friend groped me, even though I knew sexual assault was about power, not attraction? Was that wrong?

I think I also said I'd come to the conclusion that whether or not a male was misogynist seemed not to be affected by their sexuality or gender ID. What's wrong with that? That's the opposite of generalising. Or must we pretend that male humans are never misogynist now Confused

TeckanandMultra · 16/03/2021 11:18

I feel so sorry for young women who have bought into this agenda, only to be shocked when the same old misogyny raises its head. They've been sold a pup. It's heartbreaking.

parentalhelpline · 16/03/2021 11:30

Wendy I have a screenshot of your post and I can't work out why you were deleted. Saying a AMAB/NB person was a man, maybe?

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Nilbog · 16/03/2021 11:34

And who the fuck can she go to to discuss her fears at the University when they’ve all drank the Kool Aid?

parentalhelpline · 16/03/2021 11:42

@Nilbog

And who the fuck can she go to to discuss her fears at the University when they’ve all drank the Kool Aid?

Lots of emojis on the post, and one comment saying she should reach out if she needs support. Even if they think it, no one is going to comment that she's been betrayed by an ideology which posits that a man can experience misogyny lest they be called transphobic themselves.

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WarriorN · 16/03/2021 11:46

@alkanet

What gets to me is her so called friends rejecting her and calling her a liar.

Double gaslighting. Poor girl

UnderHisAye · 16/03/2021 11:54

Poor lots of girls. I wonder how many other girls this is happening to who feel they can't speak to anyone about it, even their own friends.

WendyTestaburger · 16/03/2021 11:56

@parentalhelpline

Wendy I have a screenshot of your post and I can't work out why you were deleted. Saying a AMAB/NB person was a man, maybe?
Ah maybe! Funny thing is I'm not misgendering because I don't believe in gender ID, although I accept some people do. When I say man / woman I mean male /female. I make no assumptions about personality or style.

My kids are mistaken for the opposite sex daily. I rarely correct people unless it's important, because I think it implies (to the child) that girls are lesser.

WendyTestaburger · 16/03/2021 11:58

This must be so terrifying to experience. I wonder if it leads to some young women adopting a gender ID just to feel safe in their group again. Peer groups are so very important when young.

334bu · 16/03/2021 12:03

The only way to justify allowing males into female only spaces is to pretend that male violent offenders do not exist within the trans community. Unfortunately this is a lie and to perpetuate this lie they must attack anyone who dares to bring it to light. God forbid anyone should think that there is no difference in patterns of criminality between the various male groups and therefore that all males , no matter their gender identity need to be excluded.

parentalhelpline · 16/03/2021 13:36

I'd like to think that what will come out of this sort of thing is younger women being peaked, but I don't know where they will find anyone to help them. Are there websites specifically aimed at Gen Z explaining this stuff, with lots of soft stuff at the front end explaining how those supporting single-sex provision don't hate trans people? Because what silences that generation is the fear of being instantly shifted into the bigot category.

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DaisiesandButtercups · 16/03/2021 14:18

There is “identity crisis” a podcast and website aimed at teenagers. It is by Sasha White and M K Fain.

notyourhandmaid · 16/03/2021 14:37

Awful but not in the least bit surprising.

TheRabbitOfCaerbannog · 16/03/2021 14:45

Poor girl. You just know don't you that there are going to be loads of stories like this that come out over time. Predatory types using trans umbrella identities as a cover to predate. Enjoying having power over women, enjoying the free pass that accusations of transphobia gives them.

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