It's not just women that aren't safe it's girls

[RandomMess]

I asked my DDs at what age they were first sexually harassed. One of them has told me when she was 11 and still in primary school by one of the Dads.

I feel sick.

How can women be safe if sexual harassment starts at 11 she wasn't tall or "older" looking at all.

So sorry OP. Sadly this starts when girls are so very young.

We need to keep talking about this, over and over and never allow ourselves to be silenced again. I’m scared for any potential grand children and I want to make a better world for them.

It's appalling. And by a parent.

How do we give children the ability to speak out so we can impose zero tolerance on child sex abuse at all levels?

Fortunately at the time it went over her head and it was only when she was much older she realised!!

There is all the stuff all over Facebook about women, but sadly it's not just women is it?? Any female breathing in double figures seems to be an acceptable target.

Seriously wondering about doing a survey but then wondering what's the point, what can we change even when we have evidence for the shocking stats it produces.

Any female breathing in double figures

Any female. I fixed it for you.

Urgh yep true

On the other hand you clearly have a good relationship that she is able to talk to you about it, even in retrospect. I think that’s so important to avoid women internalising shame about this kind of thing.

Only taken me 13 years to ask!!!

Amazingly my 17 year old hasn't yet been so far as she is aware but reckons she is the only one and all her friends have.

Must ask the others!

It started at 11 for me too.

My DD is 10.

Yes I think your title is backwards, I think girls are way more likely to be targeted because these types of men go for vulnerability.

When I was in uniform was the worse, and when I was in my twenties and looked very young still (skinny, flat chested), I got harassed on a weekly basis. Now I'm in my 30s I can't remember the last time I was.

Flashed at age 11. Must admit at time, having no brothers not quite sure what I was seeing.

Many of the posters on this thread report the harassment starting when they were children

Is there any woman who hasn’t experienced male harrassment http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4189800-Is-there-any-woman-who-hasn-t-experienced-male-harrassment

When I started high school the school bus driver used to tell me he’d let me on the bus for free if I’d be his girlfriend/give him a kiss/stay on the bus until he’d dropped everyone else off. It went on for my whole first year of high school.

So I’d have been 11, nearly 12.

I remember telling an adult at school - I can’t remember if she was a teacher or office staff - but I do remember I got told that he must be joking with me/messing around, and to pay no attention to it. But that was it.

I feel so sorry for younger me.

@Wearywithteens

My dd19 literally can’t go out of the house without being harassed by men on the street or in cars/vans but she said depressingly it was even worse when she was in school uniform.

I live on a main road and the senior school I attended as kid is right at the end of the road, so it's usually busy around here with kids walking to and from school.

I've seen so many creeps driving past, breaking their necks to ogle young girls on their way home from school. They're obviously children, they're in their school uniform. Even worse is that some of these men are parents on the school run

It is just horrific.

I started this thread earlier which links to a project collecting the voices of girls' experiences at school.

Lots of public school girls speaking out, hence the article; this happens everywhere

Report boys to the police for sexual abuse www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4191740-report-boys-to-the-police-for-sexual-abuse

An earlier distressing thread about children who are raped or sexually assaulted in school:

In the first incident, a staff member saw the children in the corner of the playground – but then proceeded to tell the girl off.

“She was told off for having her knickers and her tights down around by her knees with one of these boys behind her,” Anna said.

On a second occasion, another member of staff saw one of the boys with his head up her skirt. The assistant told off the girl for letting the boy stick his head up her skirt, and the boys were just told to “run away”. The girl was not talked to separately, asked what had happened or whether she was OK.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3364173-Our-kids-were-raped-by-classmates-DfE-wont-listen

This needs to be circulated in schools

www.gov.uk/government/consultations/violence-against-women-and-girls-vawg-call-for-evidence

It's disgusting that it was a dad.

Can that be reported?

At the very least fill in the consultation. There's also a survey by Jessica Eaton at the moment

The day after dd 12 birthday we were being given a tour of court by victim support in readiness for giving evidence in the case of a man who exposed himself to her. He finally plead guilty but got an absolute discharge and taken off the sex offenders register. He was arrested again a year later for the same thing but to another child. Of course if he chose a communual changing room then my dd would have to put up with it or be charged with transphobia.

He finally plead guilty but got an absolute discharge and taken off the sex offenders register.

Bloody hell.

One of my DDs has said she was in year 4 when comments started FFS 🤬🤬🤬🤬

When I was 10/11 we hung at the park with my elder sister and her boyfriend and his brother who was about 15. This man on a bike befriended us all. Once I was on my own and the man (in his 50s probably) approached me and told me he liked having a good wank and some other stuff. I didn't know the meaning of it but I got a bad vibe so I told the others when they arrived.
I don't know what happend but we never saw him again. Bit scary thinking of what could've happened.

Think DD (13) has had comments in the street for a while now especially since she’s started getting a more adult figure :(

She had a boyfriend at school in year 8, all seemed very sweet but it came out later that he’d been trying to get her to undress over FaceTime, and the one time they went on a double date in town he was trying to get her to go off somewhere hidden. It’s no wonder she wasn’t upset when he dumped her (probably for not going along with it).

I am angry of course but in a way I’m almost angrier at the school teachers - for days at the start of year nine he kept walking up to her in the corridors at least once a day and hitting her (hard enough for it to hurt at bedtime). Not a single teacher seeing it did a damn thing. Not once.

I can't even remember when I was first sexually harrased. It just happened all the time. From when I was young, anyway.

I grew up in the 80s and 90s so I was expected just to take it. Even females would say, oh, they're just having a laugh. I was and still am very shy and awkward and didn't have the words or moves to fight back.

Men in vans driving past catcalling and making lewd gestures as I waited for the school bus. Nothing has changed, it seems.

I worked in a shop from the age of 14 and got leered at, touched and told what they'd like to do to me.

Had a stalker at 16. I remember him. A fellow student at college. My Dad had a word and scared him off.

Now I have a teen DD. Last year she walking down the street with DH and some random was obviously ogling her chest through her t-shirt. DH glared at him and the guy averted his gaze. I can only see it getting worse for her.