The word 'she' being ruder than the word 'he'

[Blackcountryman12]

I noticed a post in another topic from a few months ago where a member said they were brought up to believe 'she' was a rude word and when they referred to adult relatives as 'she' instead of their name, even though they weren't saying 'she' in a rude way, their mum would tell them off with that old-fashioned phrase "who's she, the cat's mother" (A phrase I can't stand), yet they were never told off for calling a man 'he' instead of using his name.

Referring to a man as 'he' instead of his name doesn't especially seem to be seen as offensive, hence no-one saying "who's he, that cat's whatever", so what was considered so rude about referring to a woman as 'she' instead of her name that led to that harsh, snooty and daft phrase about some imaginary cat and one of its parents?

The saying seemed to imply more than the woman being referred to has a name, it seemed to also mean "don't call someone 'she' because it's very rude". I have noticed men being called 'he' including in situations like "HE said that" and they weren't offended at being called 'he'.

It seems interesting as well how people think referring to a woman as a 'woman' to her face sounds rude, but not referring to a man as a 'man' to his face is rude. What should be rude about the word 'woman'?

It's a hangover from when our society was more explicitly divided by class. You had ladies and gentlemen and women and men.

Man and gentleman are so close (it's just a prefix that differentiates them) that people stopped worrying about calling a man a man instead of a gentleman. But calling a woman a woman instead of a lady? We don't know why it's rude, but we have that lingering feeling it is.

@Blackcountryman12

It seems interesting as well how people think referring to a woman as a 'woman' to her face sounds rude, but not referring to a man as a 'man' to his face is rude. What should be rude about the word 'woman'?

Speak for yourself. We had a discussion about this last week and the concensus was if you were speaking about a third party in their presence and you didn't know them you would say e.g to a child "let the lady/gentleman go first".

If you were talking about a group of men or women or men or women in general, then use "men" "women"

I didn't realise the phrase was even use much now, it sounds quaint and old-fashioned to me

Well bully for you. I think I'd rather be "quaint and old- fashioned" than being perpetually on the look out for something to be offended by.

I’ve only ever heard the cat’s mother phrase used in conversations between women about women. My experience is that it was used by mothers and grandmothers to shut down gossiping.