I'm just angry all the time, anyone else?

[WhyZed]

I've loved this place on the Internet but have had to hide it in my topics for more than six months now because I was feeling more and more despondent and angry.
I'm desperate to come back properly but please can someone tell me how to deal with the rage? I'm literally shaking typing this. I know this is a personal issue with me being unable to deal with my feelings but I'm surely not the only one who sees the news, the updates from Scotland and elsewhere and just simmers.
How do you deal with this?

@Sofuckingsad I've had similar conversations with my uber-woke daughter. It breaks my heart. We get on well otherwise and I don't want to drive her away, so I've let it go for now. It's infuriating that our wisdom garnered through a lifetime of experience is brushed to the side because we're 'too old' to understand.
I feel your pain!

Another one who is not able to discuss this with my teenage daughter. I'm glad that she doesn't realise how much of a threat men are to women but also sad that she will find it out herself going through life.

CatsKnees and alkanet - you have no idea how much your words mean to me right now. I actually woke up this morning and thought - is it me? Am I wrong? Am I too old and too 'vanilla' to understand what young women want? For that crock of SHIT to cross my mind, even for a second, shows how insidious this whole thing is. If anyone can point the way to any resources, or has any thoughts, about how I can handle this without breaking my relationship with my fabulous daughter, I would be massively grateful.

RhapsodyandAshe - yes, that's exactly it. My DD has no idea what's ahead. I hope she never experiences it, but how can she not? And with all those man-serving ideas internalised in her head, when it happens she will blame herself.

Regarding teenagers who are terrified of shaming other people's sex lives. Give them this.

www.chicagoreader.com/chicago/dan-savage-love-breath-play-choking-kink/Content?oid=33151336

PortholeParadies - thank you for that, it's very useful.

And then this.

www.jaywiseman.com/SEX_BDSM_Breath_Closing_Argument.html

I was spitting feathers yesterday over that Guardian front page, following on so quickly from the whole Scotland debacle. I do creep away for a week or so when the anger get overwhelming.

I remember a post on here which said something like ‘step away when you need, for as long as you need, another woman will step up to take your place and we will make room for you when you are ready to come back.’ This helped massively.

I don’t post here often but catch up with what’s going on every day. Furlough has been difficult as endless time and less money to do any of he recommended gardening.

I have, however, gone back to running, that feels good, to be free and to be on my own, to be able to think about other things.

DH is supportive. DS is totally captured, DD knows, but caught in the ‘ I won’t have any friends left if I say that’.

Best of all is having friends who are also GC, so I can have a weekly ‘did you see....’ conversation which helps massively.

Also, I think the responses on Twitter are beginning to turn our way. The wonderful people who have won court cases, or even lost court cases, all of which which shine a huge light on the situation, are helping.

To all the stalwarts on here, please keep posting. It must sometimes seem like you are shouting into a void, but you are read by many more people that you know.

💐💐💐 and for us all to share.

Probably should have put more

It's infuriating that our wisdom garnered through a lifetime of experience is brushed to the side because we're 'too old' to understand.

I think it was ever thus. In fact I remember huge arguments with my mum in my teens. I also remember the huge surge of empathy and connection with her when I became a mum myself.

This is our job women. The wisdom and experience needs sharing. Younger people throw it our face, but they are glad of it in reality. Don't give up, but practice self care, which includes moving away when you need

I gave my DD a copy of Invisible Women for IWD. It’s just full of facts about women being the forgotten ‘gender’. Mobile phones not made for women size hands, VR doesn’t work for women as our eyes compute differently etc etc. DD is loving it. I’m not going to say anything controversial about it, I just hope it nudges her further along the line of understanding the cognitive dissonance needed.

@Barracker

I don't feel eloquent. I feel clumsy, awkward, muzzled and anxious and slightly ashamed of myself, for every compromise to the truth I consciously make in choosing the acceptable words instead of the real ones.

I'm in awe of the stamina of every woman here. Persevering and tripping over what may or not be an allowable truth. I'm scared. Scared that where we have arrived is already normalised, that it's already frightening to say the truth in its unvarnished, undiplomatic, unapologetic nakedness.

The fact you manage to be so eloquent, articulate and perceptive despite this muzzle on you, the muzzle we all share, is a testament to your abilities as a writer and a former of ideas.

I am one of countless women on MN who are very grateful that you continue to find a way to speak, compromises and concessions notwithstanding. What you say has real value. Like your wisdom of Solomon analogy in your previous post, which so clearly summed up the situation as I see it too.

It is soul destroying, the dance we have to do to express ourselves, just as living with the whole situation is soul destroying; but what choice do we have? it’s that or silence, and we just can’t afford for women to be silent.

WhyZed, you are so very far from being alone in your feelings!

I agree WhyZed and the policing of language, even here makes me feel worse. It seems men must always be centred, even on Mumsnet.

The fact you manage to be so eloquent, articulate and perceptive despite this muzzle on you, the muzzle we all share, is a testament to your abilities as a writer and a former of ideas.

I am one of countless women on MN who are very grateful that you continue to find a way to speak, compromises and concessions notwithstanding. What you say has real value. Like your wisdom of Solomon analogy in your previous post, which so clearly summed up the situation as I see it too.

Yes, second this. And I find it tends to be men who appoint themselves as Solomon online, do that testicles of objectivity bullshit and set themselves up pompously to arbitrate between feminists and TRAs on which is more "reasonable". That is infuriating.

I’m so relieved to see this thread. I seem to spend my time being furious, and as others have said, the response of so many to the events of this week, including that Guardian front page, is tipping me over the edge.

I don’t understand how women can justify all the trans sisters stuff. TWs certainly do not see us as THEIR sisters! It’s all about strong-arming their way into our spaces, our jobs, our prizes ... it’s not solidarity they seek, its control. I’m just so tired of it all.

The testacles of objectivity :) ❤️

Not mine sadly but it's a good expression!

God yes. This week has elevated it for us all I reckon. And I swear reading all the NAMALT on here the last few days my blood pressure must be sky high.

Absolutely furious the entire time. I never know what angers me most - the stupidity, the misogyny or the authoritarianism. Generally all three go together, though.

Oh same, RoyalCorgi

And the misplaced sanctimoniousness.

Yes. This year I was angry in anticipation of international women's Day, during IWD, and after. I'm angry every time I get an email from another colleague who has added their pronouns to their signature. I'm angry when the staff women's network turns into the gender equality network. Angry and scared that the tipping point will never come.

I hear you. I too am absolutely bloody furious most of the time.

I have The Rage quite a lot these days. It’s exhausting!