Nail. On. Head.
“I am meant to be writing a light- hearted travel piece at the moment but my heart is heavy.
I can’t look at the news . I can’t not look at the news. A lovely young woman’s face is there. She is missing and well.. I do not know what happened. None of do yet. But we fear, my god we feel the fear.
Women are murdered day in and day out by men. This is how we live. I am here by the skin of my teeth and I have three daughters who walk around at night because you know we are all so free and modern.
They passed to me a list of the things that rapists look out for. Pony- tails are easy to grab. That one stuck in my head. I wear my bag tight across my chest, I have keys in my hand. I take taxis a lot more . I cross over the road. I never walk with headphones in. I tell my youngest to do the same but I know she ignores my advice.
I have been raped. It was probably my own fault and it happened at a time and in a place where if they proposed marriage after , it wasn’t even a crime. I have put myself in many dangerous situations. I have been attacked in the street and gotten away.
Is walking home at nine at night dangerous? Do women say to each other let me know when you are home safe for no reason? No we have every reason. We are not safe on the streets and too many of us are not safe at home.
Male violence is what we live with. We are trapped by it. Whoever we are .Wherever we go.
I don’t want to know any more about Sarah but I imagine I will read everything. Self-defence remember that? Sure it’s a good idea to know some but that does not save us.
Today my defences are so low. Many women’s are. Tomorrow I will gather myself up and be angry that this is the way we have to live. I cannot accept it, I never will. I cannot imagine the pain for Sarah’s loved ones. I swear to god I will do everything I can to make women feel safer
….but its not up to me is it?
The people who can make women safe are not other women.
It is up to men to do that. Is that too much to ask? Is it really?”