Feeling disheartened

[EdinburghFeminist]

Am I the only one just feeling really drained by all this constant having to fight for every tiny right to any single sex provisions and the ability to talk about women’s issues without being overrun by TRAs or just not being able to speak for fear of being called transphobic? The sudden influx of goady threads in the last couple of days really hasn’t helped but even with a lot of positive GC news stories recently it all feels a bit overwhelming and crap somehow.

No, you're not. Take heart. Have a and a wee break from time to time. There are plenty of us to take up the slack.

Personally I'm more pre-occupied with ensuring children don't get arrested for playing sports, people who need (immediate) medical care don't get barred access due to definitions in law and ensuring others have access to work spaces and safety because most facilities simply can't be accessible to trans people while enforcing single sex exclusive spaces.

If you're exhausted discussing dressing rooms and toilets and being called transphobic, woo, wait until the day you're denied access to a medical facility you need in terms of life or death because they're by definitions of their own treatments not allowed to cover your care.

Not just you OP - I've been fighting for women's rights for over three decades and I'm exhausted too. Whilst we have to fight for the very basics of our existence bigger issues facing women are not getting the attention they deserve. The sheer audacity of some of those who demand access to what little we have and with such violence is breathtaking.

The sheer audacity of some of those who demand access to what little we have and with such violence is breathtaking.

It is, but that's societal misogyny for you. It is draining, I agree

Yes it's exhausting and distressing. Those who are intent on reducing the debate to toilets and changing rooms seem to try to miss the point, especially when we have issues such as the court case re single sex prisons and shelters being shut down because they centre their assistance towards those who need it most - women.
All we can do is get strength from each other, work together, and ignore those who try to minimise and derail because they feel no empathy for women.

Sending strength and solidarity to you, EdinburghFeminist Remember you are not alone

No, it's exhausting. People pretending to misunderstand the source of the exhaustion and replying with disingenuous comments doesn't help and is a constant feature that makes it all the more difficult to discuss other issues.

With the great support and funds all things trans seem to have from institutions and generous donors I really welcome some posters here working hard to get spaces for trans people, rather than insisting women services which are continuously undermined of funds (a few refuges in the last weeks) make room for other demographics.
Put your money we’re your mouth is I say!

Thanks everyone for the supportive replies. And those that weren’t supportive - well you’re just a shining example of what I was talking about.

@McCanne

No, it's exhausting. People pretending to misunderstand the source of the exhaustion and replying with disingenuous comments doesn't help and is a constant feature that makes it all the more difficult to discuss other issues.

Yes this absolutely. It’s frustrating and exhausting.

@Terranean

With the great support and funds all things trans seem to have from institutions and generous donors I really welcome some posters here working hard to get spaces for trans people, rather than insisting women services which are continuously undermined of funds (a few refuges in the last weeks) make room for other demographics. Put your money we’re your mouth is I say!

Yes!! Why not campaign for specific services which cater to the specific needs of trans people instead of endlessly fighting to remove sex specific provisions from women.

@Evarish

Personally I'm more pre-occupied with ensuring children don't get arrested for playing sports, people who need (immediate) medical care don't get barred access due to definitions in law and ensuring others have access to work spaces and safety because most facilities simply can't be accessible to trans people while enforcing single sex exclusive spaces.

If you're exhausted discussing dressing rooms and toilets and being called transphobic, woo, wait until the day you're denied access to a medical facility you need in terms of life or death because they're by definitions of their own treatments not allowed to cover your care.

What about ery is surely not "in the spirit of the site"

If It posted "I'm upset about my car" on a car forum and someone came along to say "nevermind your car what about Covid" you'd think they were a bit off...

@cheeseismydownfall

Sending strength and solidarity to you, EdinburghFeminist Remember you are not alone

Thank you! Love your user name!!

^If I posted, not it.

This occupies more of my mental space than it should, but I justify it as if we sit back and allow our rights and protections for us and our daughters get dismantled, then it won’t just be our personal mental spaces that are always occupied with this nonsense, it will be our physical spaces too.

Our sacrifices.... our time, our money, our mental wellbeing for the privacy, safety and dignity of our daughters? That’s a sacrifice worth making imo.

Solidarity x

Completely agree with this!

I understand. Am about to go on a bit of a "hide this thread" mission.

@Evarish

Personally I'm more pre-occupied with ensuring children don't get arrested for playing sports, people who need (immediate) medical care don't get barred access due to definitions in law and ensuring others have access to work spaces and safety because most facilities simply can't be accessible to trans people while enforcing single sex exclusive spaces.

If you're exhausted discussing dressing rooms and toilets and being called transphobic, woo, wait until the day you're denied access to a medical facility you need in terms of life or death because they're by definitions of their own treatments not allowed to cover your care.

Please give an example of anyone trans being denied access to a medical facility that is a matter of life or death.

You are not alone. I wish there was a way of actually finding like minded people in ‘real life’. I feel the need to ‘do something’. I just don’t know what, or where to start. And worry about the implications in my personal life, like in my job.

I agree, I've been hiding lots of threads these past few days.

If they offered a new insight or point of view or even as PP have said look at funding and support for trans specific causes it would be interesting and worthwile getting involved, but they're just goady, self absorbed, pointless and entitled demanding of time and energy that none of us should feel dutybound to pander to.

Another vote here for the Hide button.

If you'd like something else to read here's an interesting article about the 'good girl double bind'.

''The Good Girl Double Bind describes the precarious ledge most women live on to be socially acceptable, teetering between “too much” and “not enough.”
It is a compression that has a detrimental effect on how we communicate.
A Good Girl doesn’t want to seem pushy or domineering, but she doesn’t want to seem helpless or pathetic, either. Contortions—verbal, physical, energetic—ensue.''
www.kasiaurbaniak.com/blog/britney-spears-and-the-good-girl-double-bind

I’m now feeling more disheartened that it seems we cannot express our disappointment at men being centred on International Women’s Day.

Thanks to everyone who has mentioned the Hide button! I didn’t know it was there!!

Yeah it's all somewhere between exhausting and boring.

Sometimes I am just done with this whole thing. I think, if a whole generation of young people genuinely think that there's no such thing as biological sex; if they are sincerely that goddamn stupid - well then, maybe that's it and as a species we're just fucked - and maybe its about time too.

It's a slog to push forward again sometimes.