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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Supernanny - hanging out with the abusive dads

83 replies

Jeanhatchet · 04/03/2021 07:24

Jo Frost (Supernanny) has begun advocating for the inclusion of "parental alienation" in the Domestic Abuse Bill alongside the vicious men who continue to abuse their ex partners by alleging this in court. On Twitter she is openly engaging with some of the men who regularly stalk, dox and abuse women opposing the term.

It is a term with no validity. It has been rejected by the WHO as a term for abuse.

Women do experience men turning their kids against them but .... that is part of an ongoing pattern of coercive control and abuse. They are covered in law already at 3.1. 76. Serious Crime Act 2015.

Supernanny is not on the side of women. When women disclose to Family court that they've suffered domestic abuse ... their abusers are learning to use "parental alienation" as a counter accusation. It must not become part of the Domestic Abuse Bill. These are dangerous men.

I wrote about the whole thing here if you want a look. www.jeanhatchet.com/post/supernanny-putting-women-on-the-naughty-step

OP posts:
CherryBlossomAutumn · 26/10/2021 21:13

I am always amazed at how many women come on boards like this and say they know so many mothers who alienate their children against the father. So parental alienation is ‘really a thing’. Because I just don’t believe it. Or that it exists but is very rare.

I think most cases people only know ‘anecdotally’ - and I bet my bottom dollar the vastly majority are abusive or neglectful men loudly covering their tracks.

The evidence just doesn’t back up this myth that mothers often use their kids to spite their fathers. Again, I can believe that there are a few, very few, rare cases. However the vast majority of absent parents are men. The vast majority of domestic abuse happens by men to women (and by that this is sustained, controlling, escalating). The vast majority of violence within families is by men to women and children. The vast majority of parental alienation claims are by men who are accused of abuse. The vast majority of abusive father’s are given access and even 50/50 access because the courts do not protect women and kids.

Garriet · 27/10/2021 11:27

@CherryBlossomAutumn

I am always amazed at how many women come on boards like this and say they know so many mothers who alienate their children against the father. So parental alienation is ‘really a thing’. Because I just don’t believe it. Or that it exists but is very rare.

I think most cases people only know ‘anecdotally’ - and I bet my bottom dollar the vastly majority are abusive or neglectful men loudly covering their tracks.

The evidence just doesn’t back up this myth that mothers often use their kids to spite their fathers. Again, I can believe that there are a few, very few, rare cases. However the vast majority of absent parents are men. The vast majority of domestic abuse happens by men to women (and by that this is sustained, controlling, escalating). The vast majority of violence within families is by men to women and children. The vast majority of parental alienation claims are by men who are accused of abuse. The vast majority of abusive father’s are given access and even 50/50 access because the courts do not protect women and kids.

Courts rarely make orders for 50/50 time. Shared care 50/50 really only works for children where there’s consistency and good communication in parenting, which isn’t often the case in families where the matter ends up in court.

I haven’t said I know “so many” alienation cases because indeed it isn’t common (claims of alienation are common, actual intentionally alienating behaviour far less so), but it does happen more often than you are suggesting. This isn’t purely anecdotal, it’s linked to my experience within my job in which I see parental disputes and the details of such on a daily basis.

CherryBlossomAutumn · 27/10/2021 23:51

@stopblowingyournose

There will be many friends, family members and co workers of some fathers feeling total sympathy for them being "denied" contact by an alleged spiteful mother, who would be horrified if they knew the real reasons why the mother felt so strongly.

Exactly this.

Exactly this also. Unless you really know a situation, then remember that the vast, vast majority of mothers who are labelled alienators have a story to tell. And what is very telling is that almost all of these men accusers are not worried about their exes parenting. They may say awful things but are okay with continued wars and courts - and if you listen more closely it is clear that a continued war is more important than being at all caring about their children, such paying decent maintenance and keeping consistent steady fatherly support even from afar.

Women’s aid report this more and more. If you look at any separated fathers website it is full of forums talking about how to pay minimum maintenance ‘because she will just spend it’ and how to fight ‘made up’ abuse claims.

I also see it everywhere. My sisters Ex was EA and several concerns about the children who were being manipulated by her Ex - but to hear his family and colleagues, my sisters is a controlling witch who is keeping the kids to herself. None of them know she had to call the police in before she left, none of them believe he is a bad father. And to be fair one reason she didn’t leave earlier was because he presented as such a decent man and good father. But started to treat her very badly, cheated constantly, restricted her access to money and ignored the kids. Suddenly in divorce his interest in the kids ignited, and he wanted 50/50 custody and he got it. But he ended up getting his sister to look after their children so eventually they’ve ended up with her 95%. He won’t admit he couldn’t be bothered to be there for them so PA is the story.

Kotatsu · 28/10/2021 10:42

Oh yes. My solicitor, and friends who have been through this already, have all warned me to be extremely careful so I don't get accused of parental alienation during my split from my ex.

Bearing in mind, this is from a man who (despite my suggestion to try 'nesting' after the split) decided instead to leave the country for six months and message the kids once a fortnight and even when back in the same country, doesn't bother to even ask to see them more than once a week on average. - ie. He's alienated himself - I'm sure that's not the story he's telling other people though, and he puts on a very good hang-dog act when thanking me for 'letting' him see the kids......

FeministM · 03/11/2021 22:52

The Family Court in the UK is the most misogynistic institution we have.

That which oppresses women cannot protect children. As a standard, the Court records all their hearings, for accountability as well as its own records. But in practice these audio recordings often go missing when the judiciary is being held to account. I have experienced these dangerous corruptions as a mother and I am issuing a Call to Action to reform this oppressive Court.

I am represented by Charlotte Proudman, Ms Proudman is at the forefront of changing legislation and she bravely holds the state to account on violence against girls and women. The judiciary have long and well documented history of minimising and dismissing male violence against children and women, commonly called domestic terrorism.

Ms Proudman’s work switches a light on in this hidden world. Violence and child abuse is the most serious issue facing women and children who appeal to the Family Court. The pandemic of violence committed by men against children in their care and against the women in their lives is directly enabled by the Family Court ethos of maintaining parental contact at all costs. These costs all too frequently include a woman’s or a child’s life, or years of continued abuse.

The present failings of the Family Court are directly responsible for “exposing another generation to emotional and physical harm.” So says author Rachel Watson. “By denying domestic abuse, failing to address behavioural problems and awarding equal or sometimes sole parenting roles to unsafe parents, the family courts are conditioning children to believe it's ok for one parent to be in control and hurt others without consequence.”

The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 acknowledged in law that children are victims of domestic abuse in their own right. The Act legislated that abuse victims are entitled to special measures to protect their privacy and to minimise the retraumatisation that is nearly inevitable in reliving violent events in court. These measures include screens, so that the perpetrator cannot see the victim; the perpetrator also can no longer intimidate and manipulate his victims by cross-examining them in court.

In my case these provisions were not followed. My Appeal is a call to action. We must reform this unsafe Court system. My Appeal will particularly highlight the judiciary’s failure to carry out the requirements of the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 Early feminists the Suffragettes were pioneers for child safety. Suffragette action brought about the 1925 Guardianship of Infants Act which gave married women rights to their own children for the first time. We all intuitively know that the child is usually safest with its mother. Yet Mr Justice Lawrence called this basic fairness and common sense “an insult to God”. And although in law women now have rights to their children, in reality men’s rights usually trump the right to safety for women and children.

Enough is enough. It’s not ok for women’s and particularly for children’s safety to be betrayed by the Courts. To contribute to the cost of this Appeal or simply to be kept up to date on its progress please send your email address to [email protected]
All funds are sent directly from Crowd Justice to the barrister Charlotte Proudman.

knittingaddict · 04/11/2021 09:24

@MrsHusky

i dont get why some women are so convinced men are evil.

my brother was physically, emotionally and mentally abused by his ex wife, to the point during the custody case over contact time with the kids, even social services absolutely panned her horrible behavior, and accused her of serious parental alienation.

Funnily enough, she's became a born again christian since the divorce, and has now turned to emotionally abusing her DD as she has come out as LGBT, but hey.. women aren't abusive are they?

Don't you?

Some men are evil and some are pathetic men who abuse their partners and children. We had one in the family, so I should know. I wouldn't call him evil, but he is a damaged, dangerous, misogynistic individual who shouldn'tbe allowed near women or children.

My brother was the victim of abuse by his wife, but it's men who are the most likely abusers. Also how many man end up killed by their partners compared to women?

FeministM · 02/12/2021 07:59

I also think that it's worth remembering that many people on this board aren't women. They are anonymous. Men's rights activists very much read these threads.

FeministM · 02/12/2021 07:59

Hi we have raised a total of £1600, they have given us a hearing date of next month, we have created a public fundraiser to go alongside the Crowd Justice page to avoid people needing to send in their email addresses to access the private fundraiser.

Please share the public fundraiser, we will be keeping everyone updated.

www.facebook.com/donate/626801448468920/?fundraiser_source=messages

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