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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

“Neither of us have got a womb"

44 replies

megabass · 22/02/2021 13:32

www.bbc.co.uk/tiny-happy-people/kieron-richardson-surrogacy/ztc4bqt

Not sure who I'm most angry at... the BBC? these two d*s?

The level of dehumanisation the woman goes through in this "article"... is staggering.

The words woman and mother are not used anywhere.

OP posts:
caramac04 · 22/02/2021 13:41

It’s supposed to show his joy but it just made me feel sad. Even the babies, although I’m sure much-loved, sounded like a commodity.

AdHominemNonSequitur · 22/02/2021 14:47

"The surrogate" "The surrogate this, the surrogate that" It must not be allowed to bond!

Barracker · 22/02/2021 15:03

How delightful that they see the mother as a carrier of their cargo.

Note to entitled men: women are not 'carriers' and our babies are not 'your cargo'.
The babies we make inside our bodies are ours.

HollowTalk · 22/02/2021 15:15

They know who a woman is when they are seeking a surrogate, don't they?

thinkingaboutLangCleg · 22/02/2021 15:17

"Don’t let the surrogate bond too much, because it might be very worrying for you"

My skin is crawling.

ViperAtTheGatesOfDawn · 22/02/2021 15:23

Awful.

'The surrogate' is the mother of those children, and should be described as such.

Urgh.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 22/02/2021 15:27

All that detachment.

Detach the woman from her womb.

Detach her feelings, you may not want her to have feelings.

Detach detach detach

Alexandernevermind · 22/02/2021 15:28

I stopped reading at "do we get a friend" to surrogate for us. They did mean ask a friend? Didn't they?

sanluca · 22/02/2021 15:30

Cargo? Cargo? That is insane.

And neither have a womb and that is challenging... jeez. Mother Nature is a bitch that way.

SmudgeButt · 22/02/2021 15:36

The sooner Brave New World becomes real the happier these sorts will be.

fruitbrewhaha · 22/02/2021 15:46

Wouldn't it have been so different if they had said how grateful they are for the surrogate for helping them. If they had said they had plenty of scans for the safety of the women who was the surrogate. It's all about how they were able to bond even though they were not pregnant, er, you mean a father then?

Parkandride · 22/02/2021 15:47

I can't comprehend going through your second twin pregnancy in this situation.

Also the way they light heartedly say "is it 4, is it 5?" (Babies in there) like that wouldn't be pure hell on the woman's body Sad

dyslek · 22/02/2021 15:58

Just kill me now. jfc

also what the hell is the tag like at the ttop of the page?
'your words built their world'? wtf

twoglassesofprosecco · 22/02/2021 16:10

What's with the mass PR push behind surrogacy all of a sudden? It's been around for a long time but is getting so much press these days.

It was on Naga's show on 5Live today too.

OhHolyJesus · 22/02/2021 16:52

The massive push is probably in relation to the law Commission's 13th programme of reform and the proposals as noted in the public consultation that these two men were part of, as I understand it, along with other men like the Two Dads (who now have their own surrogacy agency).

Surrogacy is a hot topic now that mainstream media have decided to cover it more and it's quite rare to find anything even vaguely critical of surrogacy.

The Surrogacy Reform proposals could come through towards the end of this year/early next year and Covid is meant to be the reason for the delay (why).

There's lot on here about the public consultations, I'll try to link to the old threads.

Clymene · 22/02/2021 17:03

There is a huge push to move to a US commercial model rather than the outright ban that exists in most of Europe.

I suspect it will go through and then we will have surrogacy tourists just like they do in the US.

Most developing economies have banned commercial surrogacy because it exploits women in poverty.

I'm unclear how this is going to work with a publicly funded health system either.

BarbaraofKent · 22/02/2021 17:08

Jesus, where to start with that article?

Complete and utter dehumanisation of a woman and her female body.

But remember ladies, it's progress.

BarbaraofKent · 22/02/2021 17:13

Neither of us have got a womb, so we thought, what do we do?

Oh we are going to need one of those... Wait, what are they called again?.... No, not women.....no, not adult human females.... Ah yes, that's it: uterus havers. Which we will then refer to at all times as surrogate.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 22/02/2021 17:51

Not a single mention of where each twin got 23 of their chromosomes, which I would assume was an egg donor (or possibly more than one). There's a tone running all through that article which I've seen before in articles about surrogacy - a woe is me that the 'commissioning' Envy couple have to go through so much to get what they are entitled to, viz, a child or children.

As I've said before, if I ruled the world, surrogacy would be illegal.

Clymene · 22/02/2021 18:05

And this is on the BBC's Tiny Happy People bit of their website which is for new parents. Is this designed to normalise wealthy men buying women's bodies? Are they just like other parents? No. And the fact that one of these dozy blokes says that he thinks carrying a baby creates a bond is a myth just shows how much they don't want the truth of pregnancy and birth to get in the way of their spangly story.

I note that all the families that the website follow are all heterosexual. Any lesbian couples? Anywhere? Of course not. Only men who discard women like used tampon holders are allowed to feature

“Neither of us have got a womb"
AssassinatedBeauty · 22/02/2021 18:13

It's the total lack of understanding that you are asking a woman to risk her life, her mental health, her physical health, her reproductive health in order to create and birth a baby for you. It's a huge ask, and should be acknowledged up front and repeatedly. Never mind the fact that every single cell of the baby has been made from the mother, regardless of the DNA involved.

FannyCann · 22/02/2021 18:57

Do we find a surrogate or do we go down the adoption route? Do we get a friend to carry the baby for us?”

What a friendly sentiment. "Get a friend to carry the baby for us".
Would the friend not be a surrogate then? Or is the surrogate a lower class of breeder compared to the kind friend?

What's with the mass PR push behind surrogacy all of a sudden? It's been around for a long time but is getting so much press these days.

twoglassesofprosecco you're right. It's getting loads of press these days. This is the softening up for when the law commission proposals come before parliament. We've a whole year of this to look forward to and it will only get worse as the year goes on.

FannyCann · 22/02/2021 18:59

It's also related to the push for "fertility equality". That means men feeling entitled to the same right to have a baby as a woman, conveniently forgetting this involves persuading women to provide the service for them.

ShulamithFirestone · 22/02/2021 19:00

Purposefully creating babies who won't be brought up with a mother sickens me.

FannyCann · 22/02/2021 19:13

I'm unclear how this is going to work with a publicly funded health system either.

Simple. The NHS pays.

SurrogacyUK Further evidence for reform, Second report of the SurrogacyUK working group on surrogacy law reform 2018 stated aim is for "Public funding should be made available for surrogacy related fertility treatment in the UK and to pay UK surrogate expenses".

Remember surrogate mother's expenses are averaging £15k these days.

This means the NHS would effectively be PAYING women to breed babies for those who feel entitled to a baby.

Will they have employment rights do you think?

surrogacyuk.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Surrogacy-in-the-UK-2nd-Report-20181230.pdf

“Neither of us have got a womb"