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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Trying to buy a computer as a woman!

52 replies

Greendoonan · 09/02/2021 00:55

Feeling somewhat miffed about my experience with buying a new computer over the phone today. I decided to buy a custom built pc for working at home, so I phoned customer services to chat about the best specification.

Within the first five minutes the male customer services rep had complained that my home schooled DC were making too much noise, sounded very impatient and asked if I could go into another room while we talked. He then ignored me asking about the “Titan model” which was a professional workstation on their website, and instead he said he was putting together a custom quote for me. He told me how great this computer would be for kids to play games, even though I’d specifically said it was for work. He didn’t explain any of the components he was including or ask my opinion on them. He then recommended an additional warranty in case one of the kids spills a drink on it, and didn’t seem to register that I was annoyed when I responded that it isn’t for children to play with, it’s a work pc. Finally when I asked about the best monitors for animation work he said just get a cheap one from Amazon. Erm you sell monitors and I want to discuss how the frame rate and resolution will affect my workflow!

He emailed me the specification, which cost £500 less than the Titan model and didn’t have particularly powerful components. It was in a “mini” pc case that was half the size of the Titan and included a “micro-ATX” motherboard which is typically used in budget gaming computers. Then he said the quote is valid for 7 days if you want to discuss it and get back to me. Why would I need to discuss it - I make my own buying decisions and I’m paying for it!

The whole experience has just left a nasty taste in my mouth and reminded me how I’m seen by men in a professional context. Lots of people in high powered jobs are WFH right now; just because I’m looking after kids doesn’t mean I’m not a professional or that the computer will be played with by kids. The computer he quoted for was significantly smaller and underpowered compared to what I called to enquire about. My opinion wasn’t sought on the components included, he just picked them for me with no explanation. I wasn’t even worthy of being sold a monitor because he was already sick of talking to me. And it’s telling that he said “discuss” the quote instead of “consider” - as if I need input from someone else.

The (male) colleague who recommended this company was taken aback when I told him about my experience. Apparently when he bought his computer he had an in-depth discussion with them about how many CPU cores his software would utilise, whether a ray tracing graphics card would be beneficial for his work, which speed of RAM to select, etc. I said perhaps that’s because you have a penis and no children?

DH is going to call them tomorrow to see if they treat him differently, despite him knowing fuck all about computers compared to me.

OP posts:
NiceGerbil · 09/02/2021 00:59

Ugh

Get DH to do that then go somewhere else.

Useless.

Mollymalone123 · 09/02/2021 01:07

I think you should call back yourself if you can and point out how the man you spoke to literally offered you nothing you either asked for nor wanted,he just made assumptions on what he thought your children needed to play games on.I feel your pain,same scenario when I buy a car,the salesman always looks past me and talks to DH, treats me like an idiot when I take my car to the garage etc.I have to prove I might actually know what I'm talking about!!

LunaHeather · 09/02/2021 01:11

@Mollymalone123

I think you should call back yourself if you can and point out how the man you spoke to literally offered you nothing you either asked for nor wanted,he just made assumptions on what he thought your children needed to play games on.I feel your pain,same scenario when I buy a car,the salesman always looks past me and talks to DH, treats me like an idiot when I take my car to the garage etc.I have to prove I might actually know what I'm talking about!!
I would do this, or email them and ask if someone could call you and prepare a quote for your actual specifications. Written down, it's all very striking.
Original poster
Greendoonan · 09/02/2021 01:13

DH was saying earlier, whenever his mum took him to buy a car they always offered her extras like seat covers and mats to keep it clean “because of the kids”. But that never happened when they looked at cars with his dad.

OP posts:
kittenpeak · 09/02/2021 01:14

I think you’re overreacting. He’s a salesperson and would have treated all callers in the same way. They might be getting higher commission for the Titan hence him pushing it your way (which is bad, it he would have done it with anyone).

ChakaDakotaRegina · 09/02/2021 01:18

We chatted about this at the Weekend but about cars and houses. Agents completely ignoring us, directing all conversations and paperwork towards whichever male we were with despite being told (even by the male!) that they were just along for the ride.

Original poster
Greendoonan · 09/02/2021 01:20

Written down, it's all very striking
Honestly, I was like “I need a work pc to run these programs, I’m looking at the Titan because the processor has a high clock speed, but I don’t know whether to choose GTX or RTX graphics”. And he was like “I’m customising a quote for you, one minute... I’ve emailed it to you”. So not the Titan then? No. Another random pc which I didn’t ask for, that’s smaller and cheaper and presumed to be played with by kids.

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 09/02/2021 01:23

@kittenpeak

I think you’re overreacting. He’s a salesperson and would have treated all callers in the same way. They might be getting higher commission for the Titan hence him pushing it your way (which is bad, it he would have done it with anyone).
You missed the part where the male colleague had a completely different experience, did you? Hmm
Justlovedogs · 09/02/2021 01:23

Kitten - I think you missed the part where OP said she wanted to discuss the more expensive model but he ignored that.

OP - I wouldn't have an issue with the discuss comment since whenever I've written quotes for DH's business I always include a similar statement. It's more to encourage the potential client to get in touch if there's something wrong, missed or they don't understand for some reason. The rest, ignoring your requirements, comments re kids, etc, I would have an issue with. I think a polite and firm email, thanking them for the useless quote and requesting someone contact you that is prepared to listen would be the way I'd go.

Original poster
Greendoonan · 09/02/2021 01:26

Agents completely ignoring us, directing all conversations and paperwork towards whichever male we were with
DH and I sometimes make joint appointments for Dr and Mr Greendoonan. You’d be surprised how many people greet DH as Dr Greendoonan, despite knowing that I’m obviously not Mr Greendoonan.

OP posts:
Original poster
Greendoonan · 09/02/2021 01:29

I think a polite and firm email, thanking them for the useless quote and requesting someone contact you that is prepared to listen would be the way I'd go
Actually I’ll probably just ring another computer company that’s hopefully not staffed by mysogynistic idiots.

OP posts:
Longdistance · 09/02/2021 01:29

Bloody hell! You’ll have to update us to what happens when your dh calls. I’d have asked him to repeat back word for word what I asked for and what he was giving me.

I don’t get many comments apart from some twat saying why I needed a big car. ‘Well, being 5’10” I’m not going to be driving a mini am I?’ It was at car wash place, I never went back again.
I’ve got to say car dealerships haven’t really been a problem for me. I’ve never felt like they were dealing with dh even though he was with me.

PotholeParadies · 09/02/2021 02:15

@kittenpeak

I think you’re overreacting. He’s a salesperson and would have treated all callers in the same way. They might be getting higher commission for the Titan hence him pushing it your way (which is bad, it he would have done it with anyone).
What, ignoring her enquiry about a specific, higher-priced product, and sending a quote for a cheaper, less capable product?

Normally salespeople encourage potential customers to spend more. They don't talk you out of the big budget options!

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/02/2021 02:28

One of the reasons we bought our car was that the very smooth salesman at the showroom spoke to me and DH for all of 20 seconds before saying, "I'll get my manager" to talk to me about suspension and turbo- and super-chargers. While DH and the salesman discussed paint colours and seat materials.

As opposed to BMW where the salesman spoke only to DH even after he said, "there's no point talking to me mate. I know nothing about cars and DW will be making the decisions".

Some men simply can't hear women on some subjects. I very much hope they work on commission.

Chambored · 09/02/2021 03:09

I’d very much have your DH call them and see how it goes. Then if it does differ to your experience, I’d email a factual summary of both calls and then explain that you’re taking your custom somewhere that actually listens to what customers want. And suggest they train they staff not to be misogynistic irritants.

EvenleyWitch · 09/02/2021 03:49

I think it hugely depends on which sales person happened to take your call. The one your male friend talked to may gave been different so I don't think you can compare your experience to being female. Although that said, lazier salespeople will stereotype their customers giving advice on what they think they want rather than what they actually do.

Think your experience is just with a pretty sh1t salesperson rather than an out and out sexist one, although there's a lot of that stereotyping because it's probably what they are taught

E.g: data shows busy mums usually go for product A with features X and Z

It's hardly unusual

CharlieParley · 09/02/2021 03:56

Same with us. DH is very good with the software he uses and putting a PC together, but I do all the hardware specs. I usually find a young guy, start talking about gaming and then go back to the specs. And then they'll discuss it with me. If DH is with me, even though he'll tell them to talk to me, they keep checking with him Hmm

Same with our house. We built a huge extension. I designed it, drew the plans, specced and sourced the materials, calculated the insulation levels I wanted to reach and project managed the while thing. When they fucked up the roof structure I kept telling them they were getting it wrong. No one, not even DH listened to me. Cost us 1000s when we moved to the second stage of the extension (attic conversion) and the roof structure had to be fixed. Not a word of acknowledgement. It's like I was talking to the roof beams and not about them. Of course, that happened only after the structural engineer, a man, told them the same fucking thing I had.

sashh · 09/02/2021 04:54

Reply to the email and copy in head office / HR and write what you have said here, tell him he has lost a sale for his company and why you are taking your business elsewhere.

Fucket · 09/02/2021 07:22

I think part of it is perhaps women can be a little too polite (I’m not saying OP is) but I’ve noticed that sales people will hone in on polite and gentle folk who will listen to a sales pitch. My father is of this variety, the can’t say ‘no’ type. But it’s mainly women who have been conditioned to be like this.

When I deal with sales people mainly men if they start trying to go down the sales pitch route via gender stereotyping I pull them up on it. I may say to them, “what are you doing? I’m not interested in ‘y’ I want ‘x’, stop wasting my time, if you don’t stop it I will find another company or person who does want my commission.”

I wouldn’t get your DH to call them back, practice being assertive and phone back and explain what you do want and get someone else to help instead. Don’t let them fob you off. Be prepared to make a written complaint if necessary.

highame · 09/02/2021 07:33

I want to know what the attitude is when DH calls. I also want to know how the company will justify blatant misogyny (cause you know it's going to happen), when you explain the differing scenarios.

jeaux90 · 09/02/2021 07:45

I'm in the tech industry and I'm not surprised unfortunately.

I have resorted to just using the chat functions on these sites.

Had good experiences buying a gaming laptop and a work one recently through Acer and Dell.

Shouldn't have to be this way but I can't stand the faff of dealing with arseholes.

Daca · 09/02/2021 07:52

It’s the same with anything car-related. I’ve had crap service and deals for years. Almost as if the male sex class is making it intentionally difficult for us to access means of production.

WhipperSnapperSteve · 09/02/2021 07:55

Go to www.overclockers.co.uk , they will treat you decently as a woman when you call them.

VinterKvinna · 09/02/2021 07:58

@kittenpeak

I think you’re overreacting. He’s a salesperson and would have treated all callers in the same way. They might be getting higher commission for the Titan hence him pushing it your way (which is bad, it he would have done it with anyone).
She wanted the Titan,...
midgedude · 09/02/2021 08:00

you sometimes see the sales guy do a recalibration , funny but endearing

And sometimes even with dh standing there saying "she's the tech" the carry on with their sexist drivel about colours

We take our custom elsewhere

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