Erasure of 'mother' in Breastfeeding groups

[OhHolyJesus]

It's something I've noticed since the LA Leche League did it with 'nursing parent' and since SANDS called mothers 'birthing parents' but more and more breastfeeding networks appear to be doing it.

In the comments I've noticed most women rejecting the term and maybe just 5 women saying they appreciate the 'inclusivity' as they are gender queer or fluid or whatever.

I'm not surprised as such, I mean it's a female dominated space so of course men want access and women will 'be kind' and let them in, I suppose I struggle more with the mothers who have had elective mastectomies or have breasts and can breastfeed but don't consider themselves mothers, if they need help to breastfeed why would the language around breastfeeding as a whole need to change for them, they can still get help as breastfeeding mothers.

I realise it's for the few not the many but I'm struggling to understand why those running the groups do it and kick out the women who just want to use the word mother? It's our word, others get to use their words, why can't we have mother?

Doh, LLLGB, and I cross posted. I'll go back in my corner.

m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=3725402560852079&id=136580916400946

I get upset about this. I would have no issue with it being a group for “breastfeeding mothers (and trans men who are feeding their babies)” but I object to the loss of the word mother as the key identifying thing and any suggestion of inclusion of men or trans women. In COVID times lots of groups I’m in people will video their latch to get help. It’s not at all fair or reasonable to expect women to put up with male born people seeing them exposed and vulnerable.

I also object to the word "chestfeeding" although some people think this makes me a bigot.

Breast milk comes from breasts. If a trans man is using their breasts to feed their baby, it's still breastfeeding, and someone who is triggered by using the correct word for it is not at all likely to breastfeed in the first place, as surely the physical act of breastfeeding would be even more triggering than the use of the word to describe it?!

As for trans women attempting to "chestfeed" babies which is basically pretending to breastfeed, that is entirely for the adult's benefit and not the baby's benefit. Plenty of parents (mothers, fathers, women, men, trans or not) might not be able to breastfeed their babies for whatever reason, and those people just use bottles (of formula, expressed or donated milk). Of course a bottle is good enough for a woman who wanted to breastfeed and couldn't, but apparently not good enough for a trans woman who wants to pretend to breastfeed instead

I am aware that some people will find my views offensive but frankly I find it offensive that some people are trying to appropriate the very things that only biological female can do, which are also the things that make us vulnerable to discrimination, inequality and violence.

merrymouse
Only women become pregnant (whether they want to or not)

and whatever they may have been identifying as (man, woman, teapot) at the time of impregnation.

When someone refers to me as mum or mother it certainly doesn’t feel neutral, and I don’t always appreciate the implications it comes with.

What is the harm that you feel is caused? I can’t see it myself but I don’t want to dismiss someone else’s experience, so I am interested to know.

Why do you have a problem with the neutral word "mother"? I can't see it myself but I don't want to dismiss your experience so am interested to know.

I always thought that "mother" was simply a reference to a fact of life; a description. Like "thunderstorm" or "topaz" or "jellyfish".

Me too.

It's misogyny. Internalised, overt. It's all still misogyny.