Son's Secondary school renewing STONEWALL membership. I'm devastated, please advise.

[WeeTorag]

The HEAD OF SAFEGUARDING called today to inform me that they were planning to renew their membership with an organisation KNOWN FOR DISMISSING CHILD SAFEGUARDING! You couldn't make it up.

But despite my months of communicating with them, sharing links, articles, recommending Transgender Trend and SSA etc, all for nothing, because (supposedly) the majority of the teachers feel it would be good to use their resources and get the (dreaded) training. I've explained that Stonewall are widely considered to be an aggressive, high politicised pressure group with a narrow, but extremely controversial agenda and that the new DofE guidelines advice against using groups like this for teaching materials.

But I'm wondering if there's something fishy going on. Maybe one or two of the teachers also have an agenda. I've not met any of them in person, my son is only in Y7, so can't judge very well. I also don't believe that I'm the only parent concerned but because STONEWALL have harvested their #NODEBATE culture, they're probably too scared to raise it with the school. Anyway, I'm going to start the official complaint procedure with an email to the Head Teacher. Any advice? Any snippets I can include in my email? I'm struggling to think straight, I feel like I've really failed on this. :-(

Thanks, x

I also want to just add, that I've found the last few weeks very very hard. I've practically had a breakdown over this situation. Being told "you're the only parent raising this issue" like that should make me shut up about it. Luckily for every parent at the school NOT taking this issue seriously, or even giving it a second thought, I have enough strength of conviction to be that lone parental voice. It's not easy though.

well done for sticking with this, that sounds encouraging.

You have been amazing pursuing this. You are not the only one, but it crap that in every institution we have to be taking action as individuals. Many here are behind you. Good luck.

The school and its children are lucky to have you. Well done.

I’ve dealt with a few complaints as a governor and it’s odd that the chair wants to speak to you. Normally an official complaint would go to a panel of governors .. now the chair is involved they don’t be allowed to sit on that panel (is my understanding).

I’m really interested in the outcome of this. Good luck.

you're being brilliant Wee.

We know that most parents just simply wont be aware of a lot of the issues but once they do become aware, it's a different story.

Well done and thank you, Wee. I know how hard it is. I went through a similar experience, but as a teacher. You may well have more clout than I had!

Great work, OP! Wishing you all the very very best in your meeting with the Head tomorrow. Don't lose heart. Most people think this is a matter of 'live and let live' because they have absolutely no idea what Stonewall are up to.

If he says no, I heartily advise taking it to the governors and the PTA (if your school has one) as others have suggested.

@Kit19

you're being brilliant Wee.

We know that most parents just simply wont be aware of a lot of the issues but once they do become aware, it's a different story.

Exactly! The school have not been transparent about their RSE material or their involvement with Stonewall. I explained to the Head that parents can't object to something they don't know about! They probably will tell the parents about Stonewall if they do sign up, after the fact, but probably buried as an "aside" in a newsletter and ONLY because I've hassled them about it. As for consulting with parents on RSE/PSHE? They've never done it, can you believe that? The Head grudgingly sent me some RSE slides a few weeks ago and the only one missing was the one covering Gender Ideology! I asked wether they were waiting on Stonewall's assistance to compose that one and he said "oh no, nothing like that". yeah right.

Thanks for your kind words too. :-)

WeeTorag - I'd like to add my voice to the chorus of thank yous.

Thank you. You are doing a good thing.

@ForenameSurname

Great work, OP! Wishing you all the very very best in your meeting with the Head tomorrow. Don't lose heart. Most people think this is a matter of 'live and let live' because they have absolutely no idea what Stonewall are up to.

If he says no, I heartily advise taking it to the governors and the PTA (if your school has one) as others have suggested.

Hey @ForenameSurname I've already taken it to the Chair as I got nowhere with the Head, he's the one digging his heels in. As for the PTA, don't know any of them but I think they are all about cakes sales etc, I've don't think they get involved in actual serious issues regarding the school. I'm literally on my tod!

@SkeeterP

I’ve dealt with a few complaints as a governor and it’s odd that the chair wants to speak to you. Normally an official complaint would go to a panel of governors .. now the chair is involved they don’t be allowed to sit on that panel (is my understanding).

I’m really interested in the outcome of this. Good luck.

That's interesting. Well it will all come out in the wash soon, hopefully.

Good luck, you are in the right.

Well done OP. You're going fantastic. What you're doing makes a real difference.

For what it's worth, I know there are at least 2 GC school governors in our Governing body (I'm one), the other is our SEN link Governor. You would find a very sympathetic ear if it was our school.

Keep going. Great action. Solidarity.

Just make sure you are completely clued up on the complaints procedure and ask him about the next steps in the meeting.

Good luck op

Good luck. If you haven't already I'd make a single sheet of the main bullet points (with a couple of brief examples about each) to refer to:
eg
Stonewall's a political lobby group
Anti woman stance, openly campaign to remove girls rights to shower, undress etc in single sex spaces. Dfe guidance on no political groups accessing children other than as part of a balanced discussion. etc

Stonewall advocate for children to receive puberty blockers, surgery DfE guidance re born in the wrong body rhetoric not being taught to children, Keira Bell's judicial review finding that this is experimental unproven treatment.

I'd also use the point made upthread:
What is the data that supports the school investing all this money, time and energy in Stonewall rather than investing in the achievement, mental health and wellbeing of children with SEN / BAME / girls?

Why is this issue so much more important? Are LGBT children unsafe / underachieving in the school currently? Do they know? And if they don't, why are they spending time & £££ on something they have no evidence about?

Wishing you good luck.

@persistentwoman

Good luck. If you haven't already I'd make a single sheet of the main bullet points (with a couple of brief examples about each) to refer to: eg Stonewall's a political lobby group Anti woman stance, openly campaign to remove girls rights to shower, undress etc in single sex spaces. Dfe guidance on no political groups accessing children other than as part of a balanced discussion. etc

Stonewall advocate for children to receive puberty blockers, surgery DfE guidance re born in the wrong body rhetoric not being taught to children, Keira Bell's judicial review finding that this is experimental unproven treatment.

I'd also use the point made upthread:
What is the data that supports the school investing all this money, time and energy in Stonewall rather than investing in the achievement, mental health and wellbeing of children with SEN / BAME / girls?

Why is this issue so much more important? Are LGBT children unsafe / underachieving in the school currently? Do they know? And if they don't, why are they spending time & £££ on something they have no evidence about?

Wishing you good luck.

Thanks @persistentwoman you've given me consistently good advice, I really appreciate it. I did actually elude to the "use of schools funds" element when I sent my complaint, it's definitely a valid point. :-)

A pleasure WeeTorag
The situation with Stonewall is so depressing. They've had some excellent resources over the years, their input into schools used to be proportionate and constructive. But they've morphed into this obnoxious organisation with an arrogant streak of misogyny running through them and that 'sacred caste' approach to safeguarding that's mentioned on another thread. Not to mention seeing schools as cash cows.

I know it goes without saying, but it's always worth stating at the beginning of your conversation that your concerns are not about the school having an inclusive, respectful approach to LGBT issues, it's about proportionality and the public history that this organisation has of ignoring safeguarding and safety - particularly of girls.

Here you are OP - some specific advice for schools from TransgenderTrend about Stonewall's school champions programme and how some aspects of it could leave schools open to legal challenge:

twitter.com/Transgendertrd/status/1359949651965861896

[quote persistentwoman]Here you are OP - some specific advice for schools from TransgenderTrend about Stonewall's school champions programme and how some aspects of it could leave schools open to legal challenge:

twitter.com/Transgendertrd/status/1359949651965861896[/quote]
Ahh cheers, I received the email this evening! It's fantastic. Stephanie is really playing a blinder at the moment. I'm so grateful to her for all the info she's pulling together. 🙌

Quite agree WeeTorag What Stephanie and TT have achieved (and uncovered) is incredible.
Throughout all this mess, the emergence of so many strong feminist women and women's groups with determination to protect children and women's rights has been a beacon of hope.

Evening everyone. So I had a long Zoom chat with the Chair of Governors this afternoon and it was very constructive. Although he is "across the issues" he's never really delved into them until I brought about my complaint.

In order to gauge where he stood, not only did I look him in the eye and asked if he thought TWAW (which he ummed and aaad about, just trying to be polite I think) I also asked him THE STANILAND QUESTION!! It was the best and quickest way to get to the crux of the issue and to see what side he was likely to fall on AND highlight why so many of us are wary of the ideology and especially of it being taught in schools, with influence from Stonewall. It really made him think.

Long story short, we both believe I've made a better case for NOT signing (back) up to Stonewall then the School have made FOR signing up. He's a good guy, believes the Head's intentions are honourable but totally sees my point of view too. Rather than go straight to the next stage, the panel, which he and the Head won't be part of (you were right about that @SkeeterP) we're going to have a face to face chat at the school, the three of us including the Head, to try and establish a way forward and that it's sensible to hold off on signing up until we can all agree on an outcome.

He's also asked me to consider becoming a Governor! Something about my integrity, conviction and passion! I might just go for that. :-)

I might still lose this battle BUT I've made the school stop and think and have potentially instigated a catalyst for change. That's something I suppose. :-)

Worth, when escalating to Govs, mentioning the cost of Stonewall ‘training’. School budgets are pared to the bone and it’s hard to see how this is going to be value for money. (Also SSA and TgT stuff is free!)

Soz-i see my point is a bit late!