Son's Secondary school renewing STONEWALL membership. I'm devastated, please advise.

[WeeTorag]

The HEAD OF SAFEGUARDING called today to inform me that they were planning to renew their membership with an organisation KNOWN FOR DISMISSING CHILD SAFEGUARDING! You couldn't make it up.

But despite my months of communicating with them, sharing links, articles, recommending Transgender Trend and SSA etc, all for nothing, because (supposedly) the majority of the teachers feel it would be good to use their resources and get the (dreaded) training. I've explained that Stonewall are widely considered to be an aggressive, high politicised pressure group with a narrow, but extremely controversial agenda and that the new DofE guidelines advice against using groups like this for teaching materials.

But I'm wondering if there's something fishy going on. Maybe one or two of the teachers also have an agenda. I've not met any of them in person, my son is only in Y7, so can't judge very well. I also don't believe that I'm the only parent concerned but because STONEWALL have harvested their #NODEBATE culture, they're probably too scared to raise it with the school. Anyway, I'm going to start the official complaint procedure with an email to the Head Teacher. Any advice? Any snippets I can include in my email? I'm struggling to think straight, I feel like I've really failed on this. :-(

Thanks, x

@nosswith

Please don't give up OP, lots of good advice and suggestions from this thread.

Thanks Nosswith, I won't. I'm fighting with my conscience though. At a time when the school have a load of other stuff to contend with, I mean, they now have to deal with the staggared return after the holidays AND testing onsite. And here's me hassling them about Stonewall. BUT I honestly can't let it go.

I emailed the Head today and copied in the Chair of the Governors, just a quick note to acknowledge the call I received yesterday from the Safeguard Lead to express my shock at their decision, and to say I'll pick up the conversation again in the New Year. The decision isn't final though, they will have to take it to the Governors in February apparently so I'm going to work on the Governors between now and then, sending loads of the links and info which I've collated (cheers to everyone who has contributed here) and just build a case.

I love the school, it's outstanding and my son is thriving there already, especially emotionally and I don't want to jeopardise anything for him, but on this subject I disagree with them. There are a couple of other parents I can ask to also write to them. They may or may not. I hardly know anybody with the level of conviction that I have, most of the parents I know around here are wishy washy, lovely enough, but there's just lots of subjects I could never bring up in polite conversation with them! This being one of them.

Also worth pointing out in the DfE guidance: the expectation that partisan political views should not be presented without balance.

So presumably they will also be having training by Transgender Trend or FPFW?

Yes, press them on this. If they use Stonewall resources they need to balance.

There are a couple of other parents I can ask to also write to them. They may or may not. I hardly know anybody with the level of conviction that I have, most of the parents I know around here are wishy washy, lovely enough, but there's just lots of subjects I could never bring up in polite conversation with them! This being one of them.

Conviction is inspiring and infectious.

You are doing great - having other parents is a bonus - particularly as they would be a support to you too.

The other parents are lucky to have you on the side of their children.

Can you give them a photocopy of the Telegraph article from the 4th December?

There was a good thread about it on here. it explicitly states that if schools don't follow the new DfE advice they can be given a poor Ofsted rating.

This is a quote from the article: "What did the ruling say?

The three high court judges found in favour of Bell. They said that children under-16 were unlikely to be able to understand the consequences of taking puberty blockers, which in the vast majority of cases lead to children taking cross-sex hormones, the effects of which are not reversible.

Much of it is focused on schools:

They will also need to review their use of external resources, many of which appear to tacitly or openly endorse the use of puberty blockers. Typical examples are the Trans Inclusion School Toolkit produced by the charity Allsorts Youth Project and the Cornwall Schools Transgender Guidance, both of which have been adopted, with minor variations, by some local authorities and schools. Widely-used guidelines from Stonewall and the PSHE Association (an organisation for teachers of personal, social, health and economic education) similarly discuss the use of puberty blockers. Trans charities Gires and Mermaids have provided training to teachers that talks about puberty blockers, with one Mermaids trainer describing them as “completely reversible” and providing “immense relief from the dysphoria”.

and it goes on to discuss the guidance issued by the Department for Education (DfE) about not using external providers who suggest that non-conformity to gender stereotypes is synonymous with having a different gender identity."

@healthspeedwell, if you have a link, I can pdf that for OP.

Point out to them that Stonewall resources very clearly breach this guidance (there are examples on the SSA and Transgender Trend sites). Ask them why they are intending to do something that breaches government guidance. Tell them you are concerned that Ofsted will also want to know why they are breaching government guidance. Repeat ad nauseam.

This. “You are breaching government guidance. Ofsted will want to know why you are breaching government guidance.” Calm and steady. Just keep repeating it till it sinks in.

must be somewhere they can buy hogshit by the pound at a cheaper price

New school DfE guidance says stereotypes are harmful and should not be equated with gender.
Ask to see the resources and then have fun highlighting the harmful stereotypes.

‘ I've explained that Stonewall are widely considered to be an aggressive, high politicised pressure group with a narrow, but extremely controversial agenda’

They aren’t though are they? That’s just your opinion. In reality they are highly respected by many many companies, schools and organisations for their fight for equality for LGBTQ people.

@Guineapig99

‘ I've explained that Stonewall are widely considered to be an aggressive, high politicised pressure group with a narrow, but extremely controversial agenda’

They aren’t though are they? That’s just your opinion. In reality they are highly respected by many many companies, schools and organisations for their fight for equality for LGBTQ people.

Their literature is directly in breech of current DfE guidance. So there's that...

In reality they are used by companies who know very little about the issues so presume it's all above board.
This attitude led to gender jelly babies being introduced into schools by mermaids- which very clearly breeches the new guidance, which I suspect was written to counteract that.

And no one can fight stereotypes by embracing them.

I would serious advise alerting the school to current DfE guidance. They could land themselves in real hot water by breaching it. If you like the school an Ofsted enquiry or similar will utterly destroy it. I'd be seriously advocating they look into it before committing, as if Ofsted get their hands on it they'll take control of the school, sacking staff and disrupting children's education.

www.gov.uk/guidance/plan-your-relationships-sex-and-health-curriculum

Guineapig99 - Stonewall was founded to fight for LGB rights, but that was many years ago. That battle was considered to be won when same-sex marriage became not only legal but uncontroversial.

The tacked-on TQetc gives Stonewall a reason for accepting the public funds that are still poured into it.

But ask yourself why so many gays and lesbians have walked out of Stonewall. Why does Stonewall smear the LGB Alliance? Why does Stonewall actively oppose people's right to choose exclusively same-sex partners? Why does it gaslight young lesbians into accepting male sex partners?

Stonewall is no longer respected by people who dare to speak up for gay and lesbian rights.

Please let us know how you’re getting on OP. I’m in Ireland and am currently challenging my children’s school’s policy on their introduction of T awareness from 5 years old.

Thanks for keeping this thread, I really appreciate your contributions 🙏 I'm currently at a loss, not too sure what to do next. The Head of Safeguarding, who called to tell me their decision, practically invited, encouraged me even, to start the complaint process which I thought was very odd. I don't really want to though, I rather just keep discussion open with them. I also got the impression he was biting his tongue on the phone and that maybe someone else was listening in, perhaps the Head Teacher. But maybe I'm just paranoid. 🤷‍♀️

Re DfE guidelines, I wrote to my MP to ask him if he knew or could find out for me whether the school simply renewing their membership with Stonewall was in breach. Because we don't really know do we? He replied with this:

"The simple answer I’m afraid is that I don’t know. My instinct however is that the affiliation between XXXXX School and Stonewall will be within DfE guidelines. Not only does the school know its onions and be well-supported in this area but XXX XXX Council would also have picked this up long before now had this been out of scope.

Given that the utility of any MP is best served when other avenues have failed, may I ask please that you pursue other avenues on this by first speaking to the relevant stakeholders locally. You may also wish to try your local councillors in XXXX or go directly to Councillor XXX XXX in the Education Dept at XXX. My role is ultimately to represent constituents in Westminster so there will be a layer or two first. If however you get no joy or if you suspect that there has been an error of process or judgement, then I can take this up with DfE or XXX as required."

I do have the ear of my (Conservative) MP, he "gets it" but he does act like he's reluctant to get involved because he knows the grief he'll get. I just feel that my concerns are being batted away by everyone. Add Covid and testing and delayed school opening into the mix and I'm struggling with my conscience. 🤯

The Head of Safeguarding, who called to tell me their decision, practically invited, encouraged me even, to start the complaint process which I thought was very odd. I don't really want to though, I rather just keep discussion open with them. I also got the impression he was biting his tongue on the phone and that maybe someone else was listening in, perhaps the Head Teacher. But maybe I'm just paranoid. 🤷‍♀️

I would say from that The Head of Safeguarding may have raised the issue but been overruled and would welcome the instigation of a proper complaint in order to enable them to use the official framework to get this sorted.
They may have exhausted what they can do by themselves (without risking their job?) and need the ‘protection’ of the official process in order to move forward on this.

Well done for persisting OP. As the Head of Safeguarding has suggested a complaint then I'd go with it.
The complaint could focus on firstly the school's refusal to comply with the DfE's guidelines that state:
Schools are required to consult with parents when developing and reviewing their policies for relationships education and RSE, which will inform schools’ decisions on when and how certain content is covered. Schools should ensure that parents know what will be taught and when...
Given the refusal of the school to be transparent (as they are legally required to be) you are forced to use the complaints process to ask for the information.Below is a list of random ideas you might select:

1. Why are the school working with Stonewall that openly advocates for the removal of the rights of girls and women to access single sex changing rooms, showers and toilets? Stonewall is also campaigning for boys to play alongside girls in contact sports like rugby. How can the school ensure that the rights and safety of girls will be protected if they work with an openly anti women organisation? and Michelle's point upthread :

You can only draw the conclusion (as in your OP) that there are teachers representing this partisan political lobby position and wishing to use their position to present it to staff and children as objective fact for their own political reasons. See DfE guidance and duty of care: teachers are in a position of trust and should not be teaching their politics to children in their care. Or presenting any one unbalanced facet of political stance as the objective truth. Abuse of trust

1. Can the school guarantee that they have exercised due diligence in terms of the DfE guidelines around all materials, outside speakers, organisations and the training of staff to ensure that every aspect is fully compliant with safeguarding. That there is no advocating of puberty blockers, cross hormones, breast binders, parental alienation (transing children in secret from their parents) and that children will not be taught that they might be born in the wrong body.

1. The school is spending a disproportionate amount of resources on LGBT issues. Why are the same level of resources not being used to address discrimination for the other protected characteristics? How much money, staff time, training and curriculum initiatives / resources are devoted to race, disability, religion or belief and sex and lgbt? Please advise in terms of hours, curriculum time and finances for each characteristic.

Sorry about the length but maybe there are some ideas there for a complaint.

@gardenbird48

The Head of Safeguarding, who called to tell me their decision, practically invited, encouraged me even, to start the complaint process which I thought was very odd. I don't really want to though, I rather just keep discussion open with them. I also got the impression he was biting his tongue on the phone and that maybe someone else was listening in, perhaps the Head Teacher. But maybe I'm just paranoid. 🤷‍♀️

I would say from that The Head of Safeguarding may have raised the issue but been overruled and would welcome the instigation of a proper complaint in order to enable them to use the official framework to get this sorted.
They may have exhausted what they can do by themselves (without risking their job?) and need the ‘protection’ of the official process in order to move forward on this.

@gardenbird48 that's a very astute interpretation that I hadn't even considered. Thank you. To be honest, I really really thought he was against Stonewall, that's the impression he gave me in a previous conversation. He had appreciated and shared the links I'd sent him to resources by Transgender Trend too. But according to him, the general consensus from the other Teachers was that training and resources from Stonewall would be helpful. I was utterly and obviously gobsmacked. I didn't see it coming. I'm not convinced he agrees with the other teachers.

I think I'll follow my MP's advice and contact the Head of Education at the council, perhaps confidentially if I can, to see where the land lies with them. I just need to keep building my case.

@persistentwoman

Well done for persisting OP. As the Head of Safeguarding has suggested a complaint then I'd go with it. The complaint could focus on firstly the school's refusal to comply with the DfE's guidelines that state: Schools are required to consult with parents when developing and reviewing their policies for relationships education and RSE, which will inform schools’ decisions on when and how certain content is covered. Schools should ensure that parents know what will be taught and when... Given the refusal of the school to be transparent (as they are legally required to be) you are forced to use the complaints process to ask for the information.Below is a list of random ideas you might select:

1. Why are the school working with Stonewall that openly advocates for the removal of the rights of girls and women to access single sex changing rooms, showers and toilets? Stonewall is also campaigning for boys to play alongside girls in contact sports like rugby. How can the school ensure that the rights and safety of girls will be protected if they work with an openly anti women organisation? and Michelle's point upthread :

You can only draw the conclusion (as in your OP) that there are teachers representing this partisan political lobby position and wishing to use their position to present it to staff and children as objective fact for their own political reasons. See DfE guidance and duty of care: teachers are in a position of trust and should not be teaching their politics to children in their care. Or presenting any one unbalanced facet of political stance as the objective truth. Abuse of trust

1. Can the school guarantee that they have exercised due diligence in terms of the DfE guidelines around all materials, outside speakers, organisations and the training of staff to ensure that every aspect is fully compliant with safeguarding. That there is no advocating of puberty blockers, cross hormones, breast binders, parental alienation (transing children in secret from their parents) and that children will not be taught that they might be born in the wrong body.

1. The school is spending a disproportionate amount of resources on LGBT issues. Why are the same level of resources not being used to address discrimination for the other protected characteristics? How much money, staff time, training and curriculum initiatives / resources are devoted to race, disability, religion or belief and sex and lgbt? Please advise in terms of hours, curriculum time and finances for each characteristic.

Sorry about the length but maybe there are some ideas there for a complaint.

@persistentwoman this is all brilliant! 🙏🙏🙏 I have so much info (have already shared a tonne with the school) so if I have to do another summary I'll probably quote a lot of this. I've got such a foggy menopausal head these days, I find it hard to consolidate everything, so snippets like yours are extremely helpful to me.

Out of interest, has anyone one here had reason to escalate any issues to the Governing body of their kid's school? How big a deal is it in terms of seriousness? Is it something the senior management of a school worry about? I copied in the Chair in an email to the Head just before the holidays to acknowledge their decision and that I'd pick up the matter at the start of term, bringing the Chair into the conversation (it bounced to him, the school server spams everything!) So I might have to drop a hard copy of to reception. But just wondering what the ramifications might be of involving the Governing body.

Jintyfer if you contact Safe Schools Alliance UK then I am sure they will be able to support you in escalating your concerns within the school. They have a lot of knowledge and experience with this. Well done on everything that you have done so far, it certainly seems possible to me that the Head of Safeguarding shares your concerns.

Juntyfer
Nobody likes complaints in schools. BUT they are a brilliant tool for getting schools (and local authorities) to be accountable. I've dealt with countless complaints at school and local authority level and a good complaint can expose where institutions are flawed or failing.
Asking why the school won't follow the law in sharing SRE materials with parents as they are legally obliged to do raises a host of questions. Why not? What is wrong with the materials that they're reluctant to share?
Asking about proportionality - what about other key characteristics makes those involved have to consider whether getting caught up in the Stonewall glittery gravy train might actually be distracting from other key issues. For example is there lots of bullying of SEN /BAME children? Are the exclusions of SEN /BAME children disproportionate? What about sexual harassment data? What is the data that supports the school investing all this money, time and energy in Stonewall rather than investing in the achievement, mental health and wellbeing of children with SEN, BAME children or girls?

It shouldn't be a competition but when schools look honestly / openly at their data, many of the rainbow initiatives miss by a mile the needs of some of the most vulnerable children in schools. And that is unforgivable.

And yes, as Chicken says - Safe Schools Alliance have fantastic resources to help you.

Hi OP, I'm lurking on your thread.

I'm not a teacher but have been senior management and sometimes I have been absolutely desperate for someone to make a complaint as it's a great way to make change happen, get processes looked at that you've hated for years etc.

I got some of my best changes implemented as a result of complaints made about our service. If the Safeguarding Lead appears to be encouraging you then go for it - just because the other teachers like it, they know far less about the problems than the Lead does so are likely naive about it.

Hi all. (Please note change of name)

UPDATE: I was forced to submit a formal complaint about the Head Teacher, as per the complaints policy, because the decision is ultimately his. I'm not happy about being forced into this position but so be it.

So I submitted my complaint about Stonewall membership (on safeguarding grounds) to the Chair of the school Governing Body on Thursday last week. It was a whopper, crammed full of info, links (including the Channel 4 News interview with Dr David Bell) and attachments, including a copy Baroness Nicholson's letter re Stonewall to Gavin Williamson and Liz Truss as well as a letter of representation from Stephanie at Transgender Trend, which was really good summary of how they misrepresent the Equality Act etc. So they've received my email composed from a parent's point of view, plus Stephanie's from an Expert's point of view.

The Chair acknowledged my complaint and email on Tuesday and explained he wanted to explore the matter to figure out what the school's "rationale" was behind deciding to sign up to the Stonewall Champion scheme. I replied and included the link to that rather timely Mumnset poll, explaining to him that Mumsnet is the ultimate parental litmus test and not only did it show that 91% of parents DO NOT WANT STONEWALL IN SCHOOLS, even the first page of comments would be a very interesting read for him.

He has now suggested a Teams chat at 4pm this Friday. Wish me luck and if you have snippets of advice for me that would be great, it could be make or break. I'll need to try and not get overly emotional about it but I need to hit it home how bad this could be because the Head is actively seeking permission from the Governing Body to go ahead.

Thanks.