DD (13) has been shown Trans 101 video at school. Please help me draft a response.

[veryconcernedparent]

NC for this.
I've been lurking on the Feminism board for the last few months and have really had my eyes opened.
I have just discovered that DD, who is in year 9, has been shown the following video in form time:

www.trans101.org.au/video1.html

I'm horrified and really feel I should get in touch with the school but I am not as well informed as many posters here and I don't know where to start. What issues do I raise and how?

There was apparently no discussion in class after the video, although there was plenty among the children afterwards. I have discussed the issues with DD in the past and thought she understood but the discussion we've had since she saw the video shows that she is now very confused.

Many thanks in advance.

@Theyouttheresayin

Then why ‘horrified’? I don’t get it.

Because it lacks balanced information and has a distinct bias. It is very top level and without proper discussion with a teacher it would be very confusing to many teens.

In view of the right to withdraw children from sex education, should the school not have warned you in advance?

changing make up and hair
Trying to look like a cisgender person

This video is in conflict with the government guidance. Unless the school is in the 1950s I'm pretty sure that women are allowed to like whatever style of hair they want/ not wear makeup and still be a women.

I can see why you are horrified OP.

Though I'd like to see your draft here OP please be careful about sharing personal info, not even personal info but identifying info about this situation. If the teacher concerned had any awareness of the 'debate' and came on here they might find this thread.

Sorry to be paranoid and it's probably fine but following the Tavistock judgement on Tues people are angry and looking to lash out. It's my experience anyway and it's only Thurs.

I hope you have success and your daughter is ok. I always like to see how these things conclude so maybe do post the result but with as little personal stuff as you can. To be fair you could be talking about any school in the country considering the pervasiveness of gender ideology in schools!

I don’t know if video mentioned puberty blockers but if it does it would certainly be worth including the outcome of Keira bells case and asking why the school was showing info that is now very much incorrect?

OP a central issue to me seems to be - do you think the things the video says are true & factual? If not what did it tell your child which you think is untrue? Could you distill the beliefs about gender/identity/sex which the video presents as a given? Does the head teacher believe those things to be true? No one wants their child to be taught untruths.

That seems to be the fundamental issue with the gender stuff that kids are being shown. It's not true.
If it was presented as 'some people feel like this... and see it like this...' it would be different.

Otherwise if it clashes with the government guidelines then that's your strongest bet.

Thank you OhHolyJesus. I think you are right. Much as I would like feedback on my email, it might be too identifying. I will post the outcome instead. It might take a little while as I am very busy and it is taking me a while to put it all together.

In view of the right to withdraw children from sex education, should the school not have warned you in advance?

Yes, I'm going to mention this too. Thank you nosswith and everyone else who has posted in a supportive way.

Yeah, I'd be horrified if made-up woo woo gender ideology is being presented to children as fact by teachers, in school.

Not specific advice on how to approach school. BUT this podcase with Stephanie Davies Arai is a brilliant description of how we got to where we are and is really useful at considering the issues when it comes to the messages that kids are receiving. It might help formulate some questions/arguments. It is long, but really worth a listen.

filia.org.uk/podcasts/2020/11/9/stephanie-davies-arai-transgender-trend-questioning-gender-identity-teaching-in-our-culture-classroom-and-clinic?fbclid=IwAR1KrXL3q74J3mHJg2ypOwmagpc4XR-YIhxd4R2-F8b3aO-vnHo1MBdwUqg

There wasn’t much of this for my two older DSs, but my two younger DDs were exposed to this ideology in the schools and via having “trans” friends. I focussed my efforts on my children and guiding them through it. That’s what I would do in your shoes OP. Your first priority is your daughter and to sit with her and explain the logic holes and fallacies of this ideology. And that most of the “trans” stuff seen in the video is merely experimentations in fashion and a desire to look unique and different, aka “cool.” Then if you have time and energy think about writing the school and so on.

'Don't say woman. Say uterus haver.'

And then say "No." And "Don't be silly." and "Do you remember the bit where you said people shouldn't be reduced to body parts?"

@vermeil - thank you for your feedback. Upon reflection, perhaps I should have kept it simple and stopped at the first paragraph.
I’m curious to know what scare quotes are and what you think the trick is that I missed?

Sadly, it’s been my experience that you can make the most reasonable case and it can be easily dismissed as just one person’s opinion.

However I strongly agree that what can make a school sit up and take notice is pointing out that they are going against DfE guidance.

Transgender Trend have some excellent examples that you could use as a model.

www.transgendertrend.com/product/inclusive-relationships-and-sex-education-in-schools-rse/

Please email the head with your concerns, and links to Transgender Trend etc. Also the latest DFES advice.

The Y9s at the school I teach at were shown something on LGBT+ issues this week and the teachers I spoke to were worried about it, which is unusual as they are very 'woke'!

Have just watched the first minute or two of the video. What a crock of shit.

It’s extremely easy to demonstrate that it’s exactly what schools must not be teaching.

I need help working out what they're even talking about on the video!

So at 6:34, they say this:
"[Say] 'people who have uteruses' instead of 'women' when talking about bodies because some trans guys and non-binary people have those too.
Or, if you're talking about being a woman, avoid things like 'people with vaginas' and just say 'women' because not all women have those."

Is it me? I just can't work that out. Have I misheard? Am I being stupid?

@veryconcernedparent

I need help working out what they're even talking about on the video!

So at 6:34, they say this:
"[Say] 'people who have uteruses' instead of 'women' when talking about bodies because some trans guys and non-binary people have those too.
Or, if you're talking about being a woman, avoid things like 'people with vaginas' and just say 'women' because not all women have those."

Is it me? I just can't work that out. Have I misheard? Am I being stupid?

It means when talking about bodily functions you describe "the people formally known as women" as their anatomy eg. For women's health issues: "people with uteruses can experience pain from endometriosis" not "women can experience pain from endometriosis"

The argument is that non-binary people and transmen can also have eg. endometriosis, and so be using the word "women", they are excluded.

Placemarking

Oh and then if you are talking about the group of women eg. For a women's political representative - by the new definition of "women"- you can't define it by anatomy as the term now includes people who were not natal females.

I can't imagine why children would find this confusing

veryconcernedparent

You heard right. Mumsofgirls explains what I think they mean.

And this ambiguity And potential for confusion is why it is not suitable as an educational tool.

The video is soooooo wrong in so many ways, and I only could bear to watch the first 5 minutes.

They completely mix up, and then misunderstand totally, sex & gender. Gender is not an "internal feeling" nor is it what we're "assigned" at birth. It is an historically & culturally specific set of power relations, which maintain the oppressive hierarchy of patriarchy.

Te young women in that video should be ashamed of their disregard of the battles fought by generations of women. It is within living memory that they would have no right to equal pay, for example.

If I were you OP I would be steamingly angry at that rubbish being shown.

Accept difference, YES! but tell young girls that "gender" is something they should internalise is pure misogyny.

Thank you for the explanation, especially Mumofgirlswholiketoplaywithmud.

Makes perfect sense - no idea why I found it so confusing.

I'm getting a headache with this. Think I'll leave it for today and aim to send it on Monday.

Thanks again everyone.

I think the 'use bodily functions so as not to exclude NB and transmen' is a bit of a red herring.

It was pointed out on another thread that bodily functions / specifically female body parts must be referred to as such because the transwomen can't identify their way into that group. But situations that TW can identify into - sports, changing rooms, prisons etc - are fine to be called women's.

If women's sports became 'uterus havers sports' that would exclude the RMs and LHs and HMs and that would never do.