Workplace encouraging culture change

[JoodyBlue]

My workplace has just issued an LGBTQ+ toolkit and sent an email from HR to indicate that training and awareness sessions will follow. I have read the documents through. While I accept that everyone should be able to feel comfortable at work, and whilst I would always treat individuals with respect and sensitivity, this is a call to action. For example, there is a section that talks about language, suggesting that inclusive language would include parent/carer instead of mother or father. I am deeply uncomfortable about the reframing of our language in this way and hence I find my own views are compromised by the active nature of the advice.

The document also addresses gender neutral toilets, speaks of micro-aggressions towards trans people, speaks of good allyship, and speaks about the benefits of being able to bring your "whole self" to work. It is not simply following a "live and let live" approach, which I would be happy with. Nor is it adopting an anti-bullying approach, which I feel I would always do. This is something akin to having to prove you think the right way. There is a section that talks of anonymous reporting of individuals to HR/manager.

I honestly don't know what I can do. I do manage a small team, and so will probably be asked to cascade information at some point. Is this it then? Is it the case that inclusivity within an organisation now means excluding those who are not comfortable with this ideology? It goes beyond simply respecting people. I am NOT happy to use the word parent instead of mother. I wonder if there is any recourse for people like me, other than resigning my job?

Is anyone else facing this? How are you coping with it?

@shamalidacdak I disagree. I think people are more likely to find commonality if left to it. Instructing people to get along is at best irritating. Instructing people how to think is something else altogether. Anti bullying and anti discrimination should be enough.

@highame

I remember when partner instead of wife/husband came in. It didn't take long to get used to it but even now, not everyone uses partner. I think parent is a positive step. These are small moves of inclusivity and save someone the embarrassment of having to explain a variant situation.

The 'informing' on people is alarming, along with gender neutral lavs.

Are people instructed to use the term partner at work? I didn't know that. How weird. I'm not married by choice because I don't want the state involved in my private life. I certainly wouldn't want people to stop using the terms husband and wife in order to 'include' me.

No one was told to use partner, or guardian/parent instead of mum and dad. There was never the implied threat that if you didn’t you were a hateful bigot who deserved to be tarred and feathered.

If you look up Helen pluckrose on twitter she runs some kind of service where they help people challenge new policies etc at work. Sorry if I have missed someone else saying this.

I can see why some of what you describe would make you uncomfortable. I think being able to inform on your colleagues anonymously is ridiculous (if that's what you mean) and probably breaches some principle that means employers have to treat people who are being accused of things fairly. It could easily be used as a form of bullying - building up a false reputation about someone in whispers without their knowledge.
Anyway

Helen Pluckrose co-wrote “Cynical Theories” with James Lindsay. James has created a website based on it called “New Discourses”. It’s worth a visit about understanding Critical Theory and how to deal with/combat it in the workplace

@shamalidacdak

I don't see anything wrong with that. It's part of ensuring everyone in the workplace feels safe and supported. Change doesn't happen on its own.

"Safe and supported". As many posters will tell you, they do not feel safe and supported at work with their GC views. They can't bring their "whole self" into work. My DP has completely different political views to his colleagues, he doesn't feel safe or supported to air them. He can't bring his "whole self" into work.

It's wokey right think bollocks again.

@BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted and @Manderleyagain I've just re-listened (audible) to the summary chapter of Cynical Theories. It is really very good. The only way forward that I can see is discourse using listening backed up by science, reason, and logic. I will investigate those resources. Thanks.

Agree, OP, anti bullying, anti discriminatory should be enough. This sort of policy is infantilising adults.

@JoodyBlue I'm sure I meant to rely to this post

I have seen similar at my workplace, to the extent that the manager guidelines issued state that if an employee isn't happy sharing facilities with a trans colleague, they sold be invited for a chat and told they're the ones who need to go and use other facilities

We can also now choose to add our pronouns and identity to our file.

I'm thinking of starting by querying why the existing Equality policy includes all the protected characteristics, except for sex (replaced by gender).

*reply

Happy New year @Galvantula and thanks for reply. I'm happily not thinking about work for a few days yet. I think since originally posting, reading more Helen Pluckrose, letting thoughts marinate, I am more sure of my ground in refusing to compromise myself or colleagues. I will not do pronouns as this requires buy in to a belief system I dont hold. I retain the right to think the way I see fit. Whilst continuing to be polite, kind, and respectful to all. I will not lie though.

Thanks for leading me to Helen Pluckrose.
I'm about to start a new job and don't know yet how woke they are but they seem pretty big on values and inclusivity etc, and I have noticed so far that some of the HR people include their pronouns in their signatures (although thankfully not seen any fee earners doing this and so I certainly haven't included in mine). I did however in the HR form I was asked to submit......seriously considered leaving that box blank but the trouble with all this is we often feel powerless - I need this job to go well, I haven't yet started to so don't yet have an accurate picture of how insidious it is there. Because of Covid my recruitment was virtual, haven't ever been to the office yet and will be starting remotely, so I don't know what the loo situation is but I sincerely hope they are not unisex as I don't think I would be able to keep quiet about that. Will be interesting to read their equalities policies, if they use gender instead of sex I guess I will have a pretty good idea of the lay of the land....

@Lemonyfuckit good luck with the job. I hope it goes well. I agree we often feel powerless. I think for a long time I thought I had a choice about whether or not to stand my ground when it comes to stating or colluding in something that I don't understand or think is wrong. I realised that I don't really have a choice because it is too compromising of one's own integrity and promotes the same to others. BUT we do have livelihoods to earn. So I think those of us who can afford (in whatever way) to speak the truth do it for those of us who cannot (for whatever reason). Interestingly was revising some history homework with DC recently on the rise of nasty ideology. Won't say which. The reason societies go along with stuff that is obviously and blatantly wrong, seems to be not active support, it is fear of loss of livelihood and the need to support self and dependents.

I will not do pronouns as this requires buy in to a belief system I dont hold. I retain the right to think the way I see fit. Whilst continuing to be polite, kind, and respectful to all. I will not lie though.

Well said, JoodyBlue. And good luck. You’re doing the right thing.

Pronouns are so far optional for us, hopefully it'll stay that way.

I get the impression that there's quite a big divide between the general workforce and the office working employees/some managers in terms of people having any idea what is going on with any of the gender identity stuff.

People tend to look at me like "wtf?" when I lecture inform them what's been going on.

I also have a couple of days to plan my approach... Hope you all have a nice weekend! 😏

Surely if they want you to bring your 'whole self' to work, that includes being a Mother (if you are one). I might be a parent but I most definitely identify as a Mother first and foremost. But they don't want that at work do they? The duties of a parent or carer can be carried out by someone else, allowing the member of staff to focus entirely on work. Leave pesky motherhood at the door. Bring your whole self to work, my arse.

I'm wondering if these companies all got their wording from the same diversity info "suppliers". We also have the bringing your whole self to work. Our values are also v important...

everyone in the workplace feels safe and supported

Eh? The OP clearly doesn't. And neither do a lot of other people.

How can you feel "safe and supported" with HR breathing down your neck?

This is certain people taking advantage of the non-democratic structures of companies to bully people who can't resist because their livelihoods are on the line.

I have noticed so far that some of the HR people include their pronouns in their signatures

I've been convinced for quite a while that if we managed to execute the Golgafrincham "B Ark" plan that Douglas Adams came up with, we'd find most of this nonsense had mysteriously vanished.

They can have all the pronouns they want on the B Ark ...

Well quite.

I have decided that if anyone asks me to include my pronouns I will politely decline, on the grounds that I don't care what pronouns anyone else uses to describe me although I would prefer it if they use grammatically correct ones.

Thanks JoodyBlue, I think you're right, we all need to speak the truth to the extent that we can. It is precisely the very fact that you can't just have a reasoned debate on the topic without fear of consequences, any dissenting thought is automatically labelled as hatred (without any critical analysis about what hatred actually means, and the fact that the concept of intent has been removed from that narrative), that is so very chilling. I'm certain that the vast majority of normal people don't actually believe this stuff.

I draw hope from the I think increasing numbers of women speaking out on this in whatever way they can, often at huge personal cost, and also the fact that the more extreme some of the demands become, and the cognitive dissonance required to continually bypass all logic and reason, it becomes too self-evidently wrong for people to ignore. In other words, give them enough rope and they'll hang themselves. Just by way of one example, the more high profile sporting events won by trans women over women, I hope means would lead to more and more outcry and scrutiny.

I mentioned Helen pluckrose because of her new service (but I can't find what it's called). She has worked with people to challenge policies at their workplace, showing them how to set out their arguments in letters etc, and has had some success. I think she said the successes have mostly been where a member of a minority was objecting to policies which were ostensibly designed to benefit or include that minority.

In general I think it's helpful to have a secure & developed sense of what you actually think/believe. Then it's easier to articulate where an organisation's policies or claimed 'values' clash with or compromise that. At least to yourself.

It's amazing how for a lefty social justice movement they really enjoy using capitalist structures against individuals:

-your employer has a right to make employees parrot certain opinions, if you don't like it leave.
-we object to the opinions of this author/artist/whatever so we are going to pile on the book shop, publisher, or anyone whose profit can be threatened until they drop her.
-we object to the opinions of this person so we are going to find out who employs her and complain until they decide not to renew her contract because its easier to quietly let her go...

We've had genderism training at work. I was keen to go, but I noticed a lot of my colleagues didn't bother. The training covered the genderbread person, correct signs for gender neutral toilets, encouraging young people to boycott non-genderist organisations etc. One thing that stood out for me was that the two transwomen who ran the session had obviously been ridiculed because of the way they dress, and that was at the heart of their movement - they're so desperate to stop the mockery that they want to force this '150 genders' ideology onto everyone.

I talked to a conservative-minded colleague afterwards, who'd also attended out of curiosity. He seemed confused and a bit angry. He said he'll tolerate people believing what they want, but he doesn't want it inflicted on him or his family.

At least 'gender-fluid' always gets a laugh outside the TRA bubble.