So, the sex "work" "debate"

[FizzyDizzy121]

Having looked through a lot of older threads here, I'm asking for some help.

Do you have a DP or family member that you fundamentally disagree with on a topic as black and white (to me) as sex "work"?

In my younger years, I was very much in favour of choice feminism, including in areas such as prostitution. I believed that the pushback was motivated by our issues around sex and that if a woman (usually) wants to run a business that way, supply and demand right? I did argue for better protections, H&S involvement etc.

Now, my whole approach changed a few years back. Buying consent makes me very, very uneasy and I would argue is a form of coercion/distress rather than freely given. Men (usually) who "visit" prostitutes are having sex with someone they KNOW wouldn't have sex with them if there wasnt money involved which is dodgy on so many grounds.
And all that is before we get to the amount of assaults, trafficking etc involved.

My DP is pretty left leaning (as am I) and views all work as unjust. Humans shouldn't have to be coerced to do labour in order to pay for essentials like shelter or food. And he sees sex "work" as within this bracket. Its exploitation but not any different than a retail worker for example. He says he'd be happy for his relative to be involved in sex "work", he argues the money changing hands is not buying the woman but the labour of the woman (I.e. the sex) for a set amount of time.

How do you respond to such thinking? Does it impact show you think of the other person?

Any thoughts/comments gratefully received

'That said, people do have consensual unprotected sex and consensual anal sex.
Sometimes they do this without a thorough risk assessment and the outcomes are poor.'

😂😂😂

Men get arsey enough about being sure they have consent. 'we'll have to get forms signed in triplicate first'. Risk assessments will go down really well

So it's denial of male violence and the objectification of women's bodies for use by men.

Sicklytosser

'There isn't even an argument to be made here.'

Oh cool! Thanks for letting us know!

'A woman who says "as a job, I don't mind it, but I'd like the legal protections afforded to any other member of the workforce"'

Due to the nature of the work it is impossible to afford these protections.

Full body protection due to contact with fluids and someone else present presumably to mitigate the risk to the woman would essentially stop the whole thing.

That's why it's decriminalisation that's always called for not legalisation.

I'm surprised you don't know that?

@NiceGerbil

'There isn't even an argument to be made here.'

Oh cool! Thanks for letting us know!

"God give me the self-confidence of the mediocre man!"

I'd imagine that most sex workers take steps to avoid these things

Really? How?

By overpowering men....

Maybe some kind of questionnaire?

Aaahhhh signing a behaviour contract

Polygraph?

Ooh what's that thing where you tell someone's character by the shape of their skull?

Phrenology, you got it

Or maybe a crystal ball? Don't discount it

Just really.

Cannot believe the stuff being said on here

We are talking about humans here not pieces of meat

A taser...

@NiceGerbil

How does that poster know what sex workers do or don't do?

Or are all sex related roles being included in order to skew the stats..?

I'd be surprised anyway. Most men want anal these days due to it being standard in porn. I can't see getting very far as a prostitute with refusing to do what must be right up there on the the list of things men want to do.

Why not ask ex sex workers or sex workers? A lot of sex workers don't do anal or they charge extra so they aren't asked it isn't a given.

I'm anti sex work, but I'm astonished about women on the feminism board deciding what is best for them who haven't got a clue what sex workers issues are.
Many sound woefully uninformed and I think actual sex workers would balk at listening to them.

Wow

Charging extra is not the same as no, by any stretch of the imagination.

Interesting you make that comment to me when the claim was from another poster who said. 'Most sex workers don't do anal sex so they're not going to get rectal prolapse.'. I was just asking where they got that from.

I think it's totally fair to point out that men push and push for anal in relationships/ when dating. And so it would seem odd if this was something that the majority of women selling sex refused. It's not me who made that statement though, I was responding to it.

Why are you anti sex work?

What do you include in that category?

@Lillyxoxox

I would strongly recommend that you read the thread and work out how we got here, what views from former sex workers have been given and what research has been reviewed

I hate prostitution. I would rather that it didn't exist. Would I like to see it completely banned. Not sure.

I hate men that think that it's ok to use women's bodies for their own sexual pleasure. There, I fixed that for you.

I am an ex sex worker I'd actually say societies view of sex workers actually made me feel more ashamed. I had one truly bad event in my time but did I enjoy it? But I can assure you my vagina is fine is fully working and in good shape and I never did or was pushed for anal and it was all protected I do think it's psychologically damaging my view of men had changed I think most are cheats..

I did it out of poverty at the time I managed to go back to university and finish a degree course and exit into a good paid position. I support other sex workers who are looking to leave the industry, the reason women do sex work indoor anyway is because it's flexible hours (single parents) or have a disability, relatively high paid and fast money.
If they had another choice to earn money and a good career without doing sex work they would.
The women don't need to hear how oppressed they are from people who don't understand the realities of it each sex worker has a difference experience.