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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

For anyone who thinks calling pregnant women 'birthing people' is not a big deal, here's where that leads

160 replies

Clymene · 26/10/2020 19:00

Femcare is an organisation in Canada which provides education and advocacy around periods, seeks to end period poverty and end the stigma and health issues associated with periods.

Look at this tweet in their series about PCOS: 'another complication that may arise as a result of polycystic ovary syndrome is a menstruator having a miscarriage or premature birth of the baby'

A woman who is pregnant is not menstruating you fucking idiots.

This is where this shitty language gets us. Organisations which are created and funded for women's health have completely erased us.

We are menstruators, birth givers, ovary havers.

Ps I am gratified to see that my iPad doesn't like the word menstruator. I'm sure that will change with the next update

OP posts:

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Datun · 27/10/2020 13:47

@Deliriumoftheendless

I do agree Datun and Michelle but I think there are some supportive lib female who will actually believe that just because they don’t mind being called “(insert offensive term here)” then we should all be good little girls and make life easier for the Poor Oppressed Ones (insert trademark symbol here.). I know the main posters here are doing a bit of territorial pissing but I think there’s actual women feeling guilt over a perceived “privilege”’they have been told they have that chirp up without really thinking.

Anyway, today I am a “smear test haver” and I will be discussing my slide into becoming a “post mentruator” I’m sure I’ll sound sane if I ask the non-doctor practitioner like that.

I'm not really concerned with those women who genuinely are saying it to be kind. It will take a conversation of about 30 seconds to make them see the issue.

It's those who do see the issue, but still don't care. Or those whose internal misogyny is so concreted in they dig their heels when it's pointed out. Those are the people I'm speaking about.

Coffeeoverload · 27/10/2020 13:58

RE Sands... my baby died before she was born, so what does that make me? I'm not a woman (obviously, duh), and I'm not a mother (don't exist) but I'm not a birth-giver and I'm not a menstruator either.
Am I even here??

HecatesCats · 27/10/2020 13:59

Coffee

WhataFarce76 · 27/10/2020 14:07

"Yeah, it’s secret community for midwives in the making fb group which is probably the biggest student midwife group on fb. One of the admins is trans and anyone who mentions anything remotely against the party line is kicked out."

(Above quoted from JacobReesMogadishu, sorry, quote button isn't appearing. )

The above is fucking awful. Will this person be training to be a midwife then? The mind boggles. Presuming the 'non-trans birthing person' will not know that the person assisting with their most intimate, personal, significant and sometimes frightening event of their lives is actually a non biological female. Before anyone jumps on that, I have nothing against male gyn doctors or midwifes, but that is when the woman (oops) is fully aware that they are male and agrees to be treated by them.
The fact that this person is influencing and dictating what can and cannot be said in a group primarily about female issues is fucking terrifying. The fact that women are rolling over and letting them do it is even more terrifying.

Coffeeoverload · 27/10/2020 14:20

I agree @WhataFarce76
In my own terrifying experience of pregnancy, the midwives were so amazing. I took great comfort in their help during this profoundly female experience. There is just so much support and understanding and just 'knowing', so much of it unsaid. All my experiences with the doctors and obstetricians were terrible, but that's another matter...
If the 'female' is removed from pregnancy and birth, we really have nothing left that is ours.
That is not to say trans people shouldn't have babies by the way. Just do not strip us of our identity in (everything but mainly) this very profound thing.

Datun · 27/10/2020 14:24

@tattooedmummy1

What am I for the 2/3 weeks a month when I'm not menstruating? Or the months I skip a period? Or the weeks I'm bleeding OUTSIDE of menstrual cycle?

It's dangerous (not to mention painfully stupid) & ignores a great many gynaecological issues a woman might have.
I had a cyst rupture and subsequently haemorrhaged, went to A&E about 7 times in the space of a couple weeks. Every time bleeding heavy, losing enormous clots, in excruciating pain. Every time I got told "it's menstruation" eventually my DH paid for me to have a private scan and we finally found out what was wrong. I needed surgery. We are already dismissed and sent away when something is wrong and told "it's meant to bleed" without us being labelled as "menstruators".

💐 awful experience.

Makes me mad. Women's reproductive health issues aren't a fucking political tool. Neither are they a validation tool. They're real things, happening to real women.

There is nothing that won't be appropriated. What else is left???

nepeta · 27/10/2020 14:54

'm not really concerned with those women who genuinely are saying it to be kind. It will take a conversation of about 30 seconds to make them see the issue.

I have had two conversations with women who wrote those articles where my gender identity is replaced by calling me a body part owner.

I emailed them to inquire further and explained why I found what they did problematic (!).

Both stated in their answers that transgender people are so much more abused and assaulted than bog-standard women that they have decided being nice is more important than any discomfort this might give me. So I wasn't able to make them change their views.

nepeta · 27/10/2020 15:22

So what are midwives going to be called in the future? Midspouses, I guess.

MellowBird85 · 27/10/2020 15:51

There’s really no need to get angry about this. The people who come up with is language are so silly and desperate, I actually pity them. It’s like in the film Mean Girls when Gretchen tries to make the word “fetch” happen. ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

JacobReesMogadishu · 27/10/2020 15:55

@nepeta

So what are midwives going to be called in the future? Midspouses, I guess.

Midmenstrators?

🤷‍♀️🙈

KitBumbleB · 27/10/2020 16:03

Well if we are no longer allowed to use the term women surely trans women aren't either? Trans menstrators anyone?

Datun · 27/10/2020 16:04

@nepeta

'm not really concerned with those women who genuinely are saying it to be kind. It will take a conversation of about 30 seconds to make them see the issue.

I have had two conversations with women who wrote those articles where my gender identity is replaced by calling me a body part owner.

I emailed them to inquire further and explained why I found what they did problematic (!).

That because they're not being nice. Or kind. They're being misogynistic.

When I said genuinely 'kind', that's what meant.

If you can't make someone realise in a short conversation why it's wrong to place the validation of a handful of males as more important than being able to name all women, it's not kindness that is motivating them.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 27/10/2020 16:05

Well, if we're getting inventive with the wordplay I'd rather be a 'struator. Because men don't really seem to have much to do with it.

Or how about men 'ater? With the obligatory disclaimer than I only hate the ones trying to turn women into some kind of dirty secret. I feel a NAMALT coming on ...

Floisme · 27/10/2020 16:11

@nepeta

So what are midwives going to be called in the future? Midspouses, I guess.

I like uterus evacuation facilitator.

highame · 27/10/2020 16:26

Lots of stuff on the internet trying to obliterate us, but lots of stuff on TV calling us women. My guess, nobody dares but they might in the future if no one can stop this lunacy.

Court cases will multiply and the more women realise what's going on, the easier crowdfunding will become.

WhataFarce76 · 27/10/2020 16:57

@MellowBird85

But it is happening. It's happening in schools, which is important, because by the time 'our' generation are gone, this will become the new norm for the next generation. They will not even know their rights and language have been taken away from them, because the changes are so insidious and sneaky. My daughters are already spouting some of this utter nonsense.

tattooedmummy1 · 27/10/2020 17:06

Uterus evacuation facilitator

nepeta · 27/10/2020 17:22

@tattooedmummy1

Uterus evacuation facilitator

That and the midMENstrators made my day. For some reason the examples at the beginning of this thread made me really upset. So thank you for the humour.

FuckingRidiculous · 27/10/2020 17:51

God it just infuriates me.

Everyone every where is allowed to identify as whatever the hell they want these days it's seems, except actual biological females who are no longer allowed to identify as or call themselves female lest it upset someone else?

Bloody nonsense. I'm a woman not a menstruator (my phone won't even recognise it) and I'll never call myself as such and will correct anyone that tries.

Original poster

Clymene · 27/10/2020 18:14

Mainstream media, companies and organisations which provide products and services to women have erased us. We should be very frightened.

If we cannot name ourselves as a sex class, we cannot organise. We can not identify when we are discriminated against and we will lose the sex based rights that our foremothers fought so hard for. This stuff matters. It's not just semantics.