Titles

[Nicknamegoeshere]

This may possibly have been done to death so forgive me if I'm late to the party, but why on earth do so many people struggle with my preferred title being Miss ***?!! Sick of rules of assumption surrounding Miss/Ms/Mrs!!!

I think we should get rid of titles. I find Miss infantilising so don't use it (use Ms but I've never been married) but I don't have any problem with other women using it.

I’m a Ms, it just feels like Miss is for little girls. Fair enough if you don’t feel that way. I’d never marry so i never need to change it although I’ve had work forms returned as I’d not put a previous name down, because as a Ms I’d obviously been married and taken my spouse’s name 🙄.

I don’t like fandoms using my first name as I’m quite prickly about over familiarity. Ms OftheEndless will do fine.

I’m a Ms and kept my name when I got married. Men get to do this by default so it was important that I did too.

Ms is my title, and has always been (since 16). I use it when I'm asked. I don't get offended when people (frequently) get it incorrect, because, frankly, life is too short. Imagine going round in a continual state of cross, it would be like identifying as a TRA.

A lot of surgeons use 'Miss MaidenName' regardless of marital status. It's quite badass. Their title reflects their professional status, not the presence of a husband now or in the past.

I always hated the "Miss Mrs or Ms" question because my marital status is entirely irrelevant to 99.999% of people who ask it, e.g. salespeople selling me a fridge or whatever. I got around it by getting a PhD so I could reply "it's Dr actually" but these days I look so old and tired that I hardly ever get asked "Miss Mrs or Ms" any more, they just assume I must be Mrs and don't bother checking.

@alexdgr8

you should be what you want. actresses are always Miss Gloria Smith, even if they are married to Mr Jones. let alone being divorced. even in the old days, that style of address seemed to recognise the professional status of the actress herself. which remained, quite irrelevant whether she married or not. or maybe it was because for simplicity; they couldn't keep up with all the various marriages some had eg elizabeth taylor ! what do people think about the Mx title? i haven't seen it used.

No, they titled all actresses as “Miss” to appeal to the male fan base as an attainable unattached woman. It was not at all about professional status, but purely to increase sex appeal.

I always hated the "Miss Mrs or Ms" question because my marital status is entirely irrelevant

That's what Ms is for,it says precisely nothing about your marital status.

Although having read Mumsnet for a while now, some people use Miss when married or Mrs when not married and some people think Ms means divorced. It's all a bit messy really.

We don't need titles. Best dispensed with altogether imo.

I randomly swap between titles so I have some things as Miss, some as Ms and a few family things as Mrs but I haven’t changed my name. I just can’t be bothered and click on any option. Maybe I should try Lord next.

Lord has a nice ring to it. I fancy Baroness.

I was Ms Maidenname before I was married, Ms Maidenname when I was married and Ms Maidenname now I am divorced. Suits me fine.

I've been Ms since I knew what it meant and thought 'that makes perfect sense'. I haven't needed counselling or accused anyone of mis-missing me when I've been called Mrs partner's name (by teachers who automatically assume I'm married and have taken the name of our children's father) Because I understand that people assume things and I'm not going to get cross. I correct if I can be arsed but often let it go.

It's another of those things where men have to expend zero mental energy, but women can be judged for their choice, have assumptions made and have their preference disrespected. I've no idea why anyone has to make a meal of it. Anglophone women have a choice of 3 titles (if they've not acquired a religious, academic or 'noble' one). I think at this point in history they should just be treated as alternatives with no particular inferences drawn.

Because you are neither a 4 year old girl or a cartoon character. An Adult woman going by “Miss” is really odd

I think female High Court Judges are known as Mrs Justice Surname but assume that is because Miss Justice would be a bit unfortunate.

@Terrace58

Because you are neither a 4 year old girl or a cartoon character. An Adult woman going by “Miss” is really odd

It really isn't.

I prefer not to use a title at all, but that is not an option on many electronic forms, so if I must use one it's Ms. I still have one or two accounts which have Miss, (including my credit card company, who did manage to send me a new card with no title recently, but failed to update my account from Miss to Ms, because I can't have a bank account without a title, which doesn't really make sense to me.) I notice that if I don't put any title, "they" seem to default to Mrs rather than blank. I have never been Mrs Bearhug - that's my mother, my aunt, my grandmother, but not me.

(And yes, this subject has been done to death, but I still post nearly every time it comes up in ML.)

I prefer not to use a title at all, but that is not an option on many electronic forms

I find this so irritating that it is a required field in so many forms. Does anybody know why?

Also, I always mentally thumbs up any organisation that puts the female/male question in alphabetical order...

@Terrace58 Making ridiculous assumptions based solely on an individual's title is soooooo 1920's

@Vermeil You're awesome x

Making ridiculous assumptions based solely on an individual's title is soooooo 1920's
If only that were so.

I find this so irritating that it is a required field in so many forms. Does anybody know why?

Probably a mix of lazy thinking (we've always done it,) and companies liking to assume that customers are male or female or whatever for data-gathering and marketing purposes.

Wow, I just realized by reading the rest of the responses (after I posted) that in the UK you have titles on official documents? Is this right?!?!?

Again I think my US culture is very different on this... titles are outdated and only used sometimes in formal situations (invitations, I don't put them on there but some people do) as well as a nicety to be polite when interacting with an authority figure (teacher, etc) or stranger. Like I can't remember the last time I said Miss, Ms. or Mrs. out loud and I grew up with 'southern values' (being polite and speaking to others with respect - especially elders). I speak to everyone (in person) with a level of respect - I do use Ma'am and Sir when it seems appropriate as a polite greeting or to get someone's attention (regardless of age whether young or older, kids are the only exception as I call kids 'dude' or 'kiddo' or something like that depending on how well I know them).

The idea of actually having a title on my documents seems really bizarre and terribly archaic (for my US perspective). Do they force you to use a title, like you can't complete a document without noting it? Not judging you all on this I am just taken aback.

yes, FireUTH, that is what annoys me.
on all forms, esp official ones, and for bills, accounts etc, one has to specify a title.
this is why i wondered about Mx.
i would prefer that because if a woman is living alone, say in an apartment house where other people can see the mail delivered, it is easy to identify a woman living alone.
this attracts weirdos and criminals.
i would prefer, A Smith on bills. but it's not allowed, not possible they say. must have a title. so it's Ms, reluctantly.
why should strangers, anyone who sees my mail, know if i am woman. as long as i pay my bills, comply with laws etc, why should anyone know any more about me than i choose to share.
it is about data privacy to me.
that is why i would like Mx, in lieu of doing away with titles on forms, registrations etc.