"Things Dads wish Mums knew"...

[FrauleinF]

Just got sent the attached in an email from Bounty. Patronising, much?

Nicely plays on the stereotype that God forbid men as a class actually TALK about their feelings to their wives and partners when of course it is our job as women to successfully intuit whatever problem any man in our life has at any particular moment - and our failure when said problem isn't immediately resolved to his liking.

Yes indeed, I am well aware that becoming a family with a baby is an upheaval for fathers as well as mothers. I do however have a sneaking suspicion that a list of "things Mums wish Dads knew" would be a lot less twee...

When I was a month post-partum and desperately worried about my failure to thrive baby (later ended up in hospital with malnutrition) my GP told me my first priority should be to go in and have my scars re-stitched "because the best thing you can give your little girl is her father".

Yeah right. Because any man would leave his wife if she looked like I did down below. And more important for dd, obviously, to have access to this supposed twat than to enough nutrition to actually keep her alive.

P.S. For the record dh wasn't and isn't a twat. 23 years later, still haven't been restitched, dh is still here.

"He needs some breaks too."

HE NEEDS SOME BREAKS TOO????

Has he just been pregnant for ever nine months and gone through labour and pushed a human out of his fanjo? Has he just had his abdomen cut open and a human dragged out of it? Bollocks he needs a bloody break.

They make the dad's sound like they're a bit dumb.

Mums don't want snowflake-husbands.

Presumably a rare upside of COVID is that the dreaded Bounty reps are no longer allowed free run of hospital wards? Or did they already get booted?

What a load of bollocks XD

"Things Dads with Mums knew" - take 2:

He loves the idea of being a dad

He still fancies a bit of the other even though you look and feel like shit

He is a bit put out that all your attention seems to be on the baby

He wants you to tell him what you need - as long as it doesn't involve all that much effort on his part

He's new at this too - and he wants his life back

He needs reassurance that you will put his desire for a shag before your need to sleep

He knows he is crap at this, and shows you just how crap, so that you take over

He wants to go down the pub with his mates

He is more likely to listen to his mates' experiences of fatherhood than remember how his dad did it

He needs to grope you as often as possible in order to prove that he still loves you

@coldgraybrix - he's thinking you might be up for anal if your fanjo is still a no go zone because, well, no time like the present, eh?

NOT me but a good friend of ours.

Bounty are bloodsucking gobshites all round so this doesn't exactly surprise me.

Wasn't there a mumsnet campaign a few years ago to stop their aggressive sales tactics in hospitals?

Where is the vomiting emoji??? Not envy >> @Deliriumoftheendless your post was perfect!!!

Here's a link to the solicitors pursuing the class action, for anyone who would like to pursue it:

www.bottonline.co.uk/consumer-claims/bounty-data-breach-claims

I'm so glad I never encountered any of this pathetic shit in hospital. I binned all the nonsense and only kept free samples if there were any.

But to list as things dads wish mums knew the annoying stuff I fucking knew all along because it was fucking obvious and if it wasn't was certainly made aware of, is just so dull. Honestly, what shite - this isn't even an honest list, because nothing here is a mystery to any woman I know. And who thought this was a good thing to give to new mums? The only thing a new mum should care about is meeting her baby's needs, her own needs and her recovery from pregnancy and birth. Her other kids if no one else can take care of them. That's it. Dad's job is to take on the burden of care without all this nonsense. Full stop.

This just screams needy, entitled manchild who cannot accept that when you have a baby who is entirely dependent on others for its wellbeing and survival, that the newborn must come first, that in an equitable world mum comes second and dad looks after both.

This isn't even an accurate portrayal of many of the men I know. What nonsense.

I think Bounty played apart in my PND. The rep guilted me so badly about not buying their overpriced photos. Saying things along the line of 'all mums want to remember their babies first hours', 'surely someone would lend you the money, you will regret it forever if you don't buy them' and 'do you really not care, the photos are gorgeous' Eventually they left, but gave me some info leaflet for when I got home as I was 'sure to change my mind and actually care about the memories'

They made me feel so horrible. Afer a 36 hour labour and difficult birth, having some randomer lecturing me for over an hour trying to get some cash out of me when I was very skint and genuinely couldn't afford it, insinuating I didn't give a shit about my baby as I was unwilling/unable to pay stupid amounts for photos. Even if I could afford it, no need for the pressure and guilt tripping

Even seeing the name these days fills me with dread, years and years later. Vultures.

Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh.

The premise of this Bounty ad is that your partner 'loves you more than ever', but can only express this through a generic email from a marketing company.

UGH!

NRatched. Same - the Bounty rep basically pretended to be a medic to harvest my details. I had no idea who she was or what she was doing, presumed as nobody was allowed on the ward she was one of the many HCPs that turned up to check one thing or another. Horrible woman, part of a horrible and traumatic experience. Vultures shouldn't be allowed anywhere near hospitals.

Women you need to be avid mind readers - you’re responsible for managing your husbands feelings at this delicate time (as well as pushing out a baby out of your vagina).

The 'things dads wish mums knew' is just awful for all the reasons previous posters have described and I too had a shit time with the bounty lady on the postnatal ward. Tried to force me to let her photograph my baby even though he'd had feeding trouble and I'd been advised by midwives to breastfeed him as much as possible to help things along. I tried explaining to bounty lady that baby was hungry and needed milk etc and she couldn't have cared less. I asserted myself so there wasn't really an issue as such but 24 hours postpartum it really was a stress I could've done without. Awful woman.

The other disgusting tactic Bounty used to use (I think they've been stopped from doing this now) was that they managed to get the "contract" for distributing child benefit paperwork to new mothers (under the guise of taking an admin burden off overworked clinical staff). They then put the relevant paperwork in the "Bounty Pack" and strongly implied to vulnerable new mothers they couldn't get their child benefit paperwork unless they signed up for Bounty.

NRatched I'm so sorry. That was utterly unacceptable. I will never understand how this is allowed to happen And I really hope the case ArabellaScott mentioned upthread is a) successful and b) leads to a hospitals prioritising the privacy of labouring mothers over these reprehensible companies.

I'm so glad Bounty used those hearts as billets. And in pink. It's really hard for me to know information is intended for me if there aren't cute pink hearts.

I gave birth abroad and was utterly astonished to hear that the NHS allowed sales in hospitals to women who'd just given birth! It's utterly staggering.

And then hearing the "sales techniques" used, and that they're allowed near mothers with babies in NICU..it's shocking.

Where I gave birth you could get a box with freebies and samples from the midwife, or when you went to the clinic for the weigh-ins. You just took the box. Loads of advertising in it, all of which we binned, but I guess some people subscribed to the baby magazines etc. There was nobody patrolling hospitals with a camera around vulnerable women and their babies.

I don't understand why this company is still allowed in to maternity wards, not because of the sheer number of complaints about their reps' behaviour, but because surely someone organising this has realised a maternity ward isn't the place for anybody selling anything whatsoever at all.

If you didn’t laugh you’d cry at this preposterous drivel. Honestly, I couldn’t give a fuck what he secretly wants me to know... grow a pair and say what you think, but if it’s anything off the Bounty list then you’ll be watching me LMFAO.

The only thing I needed to know about my H is how shit of a dad he'd be in the face of dd2's autism.

Funny that that doesn't make any lists...

My DH isn't a wanker and proved it post partum by telling the Bounty rep who pulled open the curtains to get to me to fuck right off. I love my DH. He deserves better than this list of whinging manchild demands.

Truly the patriarchy fucks us all...