"Things Dads wish Mums knew"...

[FrauleinF]

Just got sent the attached in an email from Bounty. Patronising, much?

Nicely plays on the stereotype that God forbid men as a class actually TALK about their feelings to their wives and partners when of course it is our job as women to successfully intuit whatever problem any man in our life has at any particular moment - and our failure when said problem isn't immediately resolved to his liking.

Yes indeed, I am well aware that becoming a family with a baby is an upheaval for fathers as well as mothers. I do however have a sneaking suspicion that a list of "things Mums wish Dads knew" would be a lot less twee...

I think it might just work if they retitled it: Things new mums don't want to hear from dads...

I think it might be possible to come up with a more interesting list...

Things (crap) Dads don't tell Mums...

1. They do hear the baby crying during the night but they can't be arsed to get out of bed so pretend they're still sleeping until you wake up.
2. When they said they wanted to be an active, involved parent, they didn't actually mean getting up before 10am on the weekend.
3. When they're "babysitting" at the weekend (i.e. looking after their own child), they wait until you're round the corner and then turn the TV on despite you leaving several fun craft activities.
4. Actually, they'd prefer you lost the baby weight, but there's no chance they're actually going to "babysit" (that word again!) so you can have some time out and go to the gym regularly.
5. That "really important" work trip is actually a totally voluntary team building jolly that they signed up to get away from resentful hormonal you, the toddler and the one month old non-sleeper for a few days. They're having a few drinks in the hotel bar at the moment, feeling like they're 21 again, having escaped the pressure of trying to avoid helping with housework and childcare at home.

@SummerHouse

Things mums wished Bounty knew: How to communicate with grown, intelligent, individual people in a non patronising way.

Hear hear.

Eurgh. Barf 🤮

@SummerHouse

Things mums wished Bounty knew: How to communicate with grown, intelligent, individual people in a non patronising way.

DH used to get pissed off that if any literature from the hospital mentioned Dads, it was about sex (lack of), or being jealous of the baby

Ffs - if I've just had a baby I don't give a shit what men want me to know.

I'm the one who's just pushed a baby out, is battered and bruised, has leaking nipples, is permanently exhausted etc etc - they can do one with "wanting attention".

Dads wish that mums knew they want attention?

If there's one thing that new mums absolutely do know it's that everyone around them seems to want their fucking attention, all the time.

Jesus. Who approved that shite? Absolutely vomit inducing. These sort of stereotypes benefit nobody.

Oh dear! “Dad” sounds like a needy pre-schooler or a family pet!

Who do they think is going to like that? It’s nauseating and irritating for Mums, and patronising towards Dads.

@Minimumstandard Your list is better 😀

Things Mums wished Bounty Knew:

1. We retain the same number of brain cells we had pre-conception
2. Our main goal in life after baby is born is sleep. Looking sexy is at the bottom of the priority list, somewhere near defrosting the freezer
3. We are ‘Mum’ to our children, not our partners, who we do not expect to have to look after too

@Deliriumoftheendless

Bounty can fuck off unless it’s full of coconut and covered in chocolate.

spot on

It appears to have missed off one that I wasn’t sure of at the time

Yes, I am shagging her as she gives me attention but you seem focussed on the baby.

Everything to do with Bounty just make me shiver. I still have horrible memories of having a Bounty woman at my bedside the day after my long traumatic birth to my DC who was 3 months premature, seriously ill and in ICU. Insisting on handing me one of their Bounty bags, which included a nappy which would have done him as a cot he was so tiny.

It is amazing how much this upset me, it was so emotionally tone deaf. So this email is of a piece with my experience of them.

@PigeonToe

Dads wish that mums knew they want attention?

If there's one thing that new mums absolutely do know it's that everyone around them seems to want their fucking attention, all the time.

This.

Mums want Bounty marketing copywriters to know that a man who whinges about not having enough attention when you're breastfeeding around the clock and averaging three hours' sleep a night isn't going to get laid ever again.

Things mums want dads to know:

We can tell you’re not really asleep.

Is it bad that top of my list would be 'I just want to take a shit with the toilet door closed'

Needs ‘attention... reassurance... [and]... breaks’. Are they implying men are sentient?

So, basically, despite having just pushed a living bowling ball out of your clacker, being a 24 hour milchcow and surviving on less sleep like an SAS soldier on manoeuvres, we have to give daddy attention and reassuring pats as well?

FUCK THAT!

Oh bugger off Bounty. All about his feelz my arse.

When I had PND after having my first child I was told by a male GP to make sure I continued having regular sex with DH so he didn't feel too affected by my depression. This Bounty shit is on a par with that piece of 'advice'.

Boak

@ThinEndOfTheWedge

Your response made me LOL

When I had PND after having my first child I was told by a male GP to make sure I continued having regular sex with DH so he didn't feel too affected by my depression.

This post sums up an awful lot of what is wrong with the world.

@corythatwas

When I had PND after having my first child I was told by a male GP to make sure I continued having regular sex with DH so he didn't feel too affected by my depression.

This post sums up an awful lot of what is wrong with the world.

Yep, it sure does!

Ah, thank you. That's reminded me of the class action I was asked to take part in due to Bounty illegally sharing my details aftr masquerading as medical staff on the ante natal ward. Good timing!