"I didn't assign a gender to my kid. It's up to them to decide" - Time article

[PinkJellycat]

Apologies if this has already been discussed - I couldn't find a thread.

I'm a long time lurker on the Feminism board and reading all of your posts have really educated me. I read this essay this morning and was appalled at how this could be in the mainstream press. That poor child. Myers refers to her damaging childhood in the Mormon church - how can she not realise the damage she is inflicting on her own child?

The second to last paragraph really stood out to me:

"Around their fourth birthday, Zoomer started declaring a gender identity and claiming some gendered pronouns. Brent and I are honoring Zoomer’s identity and expression and answering all their questions in an age-appropriate and inclusive way. (I’m using they here because Zoomer is still exploring gender and I want them to have some autonomy over how they share their identity with the world.)^"
^
I would bet that the child is using his/her biological pronouns and the author is having a tantrum about it.

Link:

apple.news/AfdfgmBWHRHWqwwBgLCSZQg

Well the kid will certainly win at any ‘who has the whackiest parents’ when they got older...

I think that is a really interesting point. Her inflexible attitude, her fanatical insistence on maintaining the ideology even when it deprives the child of taking part in a race with peers, it's cult like

It seems like she has left the Church of Latter Day Saints and joined the Church of Woke.

Zoomer has been taught that dads can get pregnant and mums can provide sperm. I'm sure they will set up some kind of penis and vagina based sex ed which removed the concept of man and woman

Zoomer's sex ed teacher: so kids there are two kinds of people, the getting pregnant kind and the making pregnant kind
All the kids: what are the words for these people?

@Escapeplanning

This reminds me of David Bowie calling his son Zowie Bowie. He switched to Duncan, a fine name, decades ago.

Brilliant director, I loved Moon.

Tbf, I think his legal name has always been Duncan. (Duncan Zowie Haywood Jones). I think that if I'd been lumbered with a moniker like Zowie, I'd at least take solace in the fact that my parents had thought up a less ridiculous legal forename just in case. I don't think Zoomer is going to have that option.

(Sorry for sidetracking).

Where I live a ‘zoomer’ is someone who is off their face on drugs, which I’m assuming this mother was when she chose that name.
Wasn’t there a case similar to this a few years ago in Sweden with a kid called ‘Pop’? I tried Googling for an update recently but kept getting results for the kids clothing shop instead.

These parents will be devastated if their kid turns out to be straight and gender-conforming. They so desperately want to be special.

Kids going to run away from the circus and be a management accountant... for a company that sells photocopiers...

Rastamouse and Scratchy and Zoomer, also known as the Easy Crew.

Zoomer plays the bongos.

My children are too old for Cbeebies these days.

@HarryHarry1

These parents will be devastated if their kid turns out to be straight and gender-conforming. They so desperately want to be special.

This, exactly. The pressure this child will feel to fit into a category of non binary or transgender is huge. I can imagine he or she will feel enormous guilt if they don't conform to their parents ideals. Very sad.

The children of hippies often turned out: nuclear family, 2.6 kids, Labrador, stockbroker belt bungalow...

I always enjoy reading the birth announcements:

Mary and Tim announce the arrival of Moondancer-starlight Kitty MooMoo...

Moondancer-starlight and Kitty MooMoo announce the arrival of Brian...

‘Kids fare better in environments where they are accepted for who they are.’

She says whilst clearly not accepting the child’s biological gender 👀

Haha - you’re right!

However, DS did act like a dog. When he was little and I used to pretend to be a witch (yeh, ‘pretend’...😏).

I must be terrible mother because DD's been identifying as a cat for over a year now and I confess I've a) snapped at her a few times b) refused to let her subsist entirely on meat and biscuits and c) haven't even started looking up tailoplasty surgeons.

My mum used to get annoyed at me going around meowing all the time when I was 6, in fact she once bribed me with sweets so I would speak like a person at the dentist.

I was traumatised, but at least she saved me from being a furry!

Extraordinary stuff - I have so many questions.

understanding gender as complex, beautiful and self-determined
What happens if Zoomer does end up falling foul of somebody else's gender expectations anyway - doing expected to do childcare, or being talked over at meetings? Does this make it their fault, on top of everything else, because it's the gender they chose?

The goal of gender-creative parenting is not to eliminate gender—the goal is to eliminate gender-based oppression, disparities and violence
How would this work then? Is the idea that if Zoomer happens to be in the group of people which is generally taller and stronger than the other group, then they won't notice this at all, so can't cause any trouble?

The mother also seems to think that she can free herself from her own expectations related to her child's biological sex. It seems unlikely to be the case, though.

This might actually be an interesting experiment if it wasn't for the fact that the parents do know the biological sex of the child. So they are actively concealing information from the child, which seems like the opposite of good parenting.

understanding gender as complex, beautiful and self-determined

Wtf does she even mean by 'gender' other than 'individual character' or suchlike? Nothing like what the word actually means in the real world.

" I can imagine he or she will feel enormous guilt if they don't conform to their parents ideals"

It's a weird one, the mother keeps saying how free her child is to develop their own gender but also placing huge expectations on them to conform to her ideology. Those sort of contradictions can mess a kid up especially as she is so public about it all

When a character on a kids’ show says, “Hello, boys and girls!” Zoomer adds, “And nonbinary pals!”

Oh the poor wee indoctrinated thing

@TalkingtoLangClegintheDark

When a character on a kids’ show says, “Hello, boys and girls!” Zoomer adds, “And nonbinary pals!”

Oh the poor wee indoctrinated thing

That's actually quite sinister . How old is Zoomer? That will be one screwed up teenager.

it is quite normal for young children to use one set of pronouns for everyone as they learn the language.

I wonder if Zoomer has friends called Chase, Rebel and Skye?

@BlackeyedSusan

it is quite normal for young children to use one set of pronouns for everyone as they learn the language.

It's not normal to not be able to hear "boys and girls" without jumping in with "and our non binary friends!". Not remotely normal from a toddler.

Zoomer is female.

I can tell by the pictures.

The whole philosophy seems to be of sex deniel. That sex isn’t real, it is to be dismantled and abolished as a concept.
Another parent who’s going to be fighting to abolish safeguarding for girls in women’s sport, bathrooms etc.
The mother was taught Post Modern Queer Theory at University, when in the 80’s she might have done a Woman’s Studies Degree and be fighting for women’s rights.

Zoomer adds, “And nonbinary pals!”

This sums up his parenting, being taught he is extra special, what kid would not respond that?