"I didn't assign a gender to my kid. It's up to them to decide" - Time article

[PinkJellycat]

Apologies if this has already been discussed - I couldn't find a thread.

I'm a long time lurker on the Feminism board and reading all of your posts have really educated me. I read this essay this morning and was appalled at how this could be in the mainstream press. That poor child. Myers refers to her damaging childhood in the Mormon church - how can she not realise the damage she is inflicting on her own child?

The second to last paragraph really stood out to me:

"Around their fourth birthday, Zoomer started declaring a gender identity and claiming some gendered pronouns. Brent and I are honoring Zoomer’s identity and expression and answering all their questions in an age-appropriate and inclusive way. (I’m using they here because Zoomer is still exploring gender and I want them to have some autonomy over how they share their identity with the world.)^"
^
I would bet that the child is using his/her biological pronouns and the author is having a tantrum about it.

Link:

apple.news/AfdfgmBWHRHWqwwBgLCSZQg

I didn't realise that so much education actually makes you stupid

Zaza?

@justanotherneighinparadise

I bet that child will be home schooled.

That would be best for everybody in Zoomer's vicinity, not just Zoomer.

Surely bringing up a child to not have proper understanding of biological sex and that some girls have penises and some boys have vaginas, is exactly the same as bringing up a child in very strict religious belief with no room for non-belief?

How is Zoomer going to know how to prevent a pregnancy in the future for example? What will be their understanding of biology and how will that affect their relationships?

This cannot be the way to go surely?

How is Zoomer going to know how to prevent a pregnancy in the future for example?

I was wondering this

@Auto

Unfortunately those things which Zoomer currently 'understands' aren't actually true.

This - I can't believe how many people on this thread seem to be ignoring this point.

It is like raising your child to believe the world is flat or that it was created in 7 days.

Reminds me of little Zowie Bowie who, these days, is known as Duncan Jones.

That poor, poor child. Living proof that Larkin was spot on.

Can't wait for the kid to become a teenager and turn into a chino and polo shirt wearing Young Republican, going to youth group at the local church, just to make their parents really cross

" Myers refers to her damaging childhood in the Mormon church - how can she not realise the damage she is inflicting on her own child?"

She may have forsaken her religion but maintained some of the habits. She has a fundamentalist attitude where she won't even let her kid enter a race that is split into boys and girls. It is exactly the sort of thing strict religious parents do - stop their kids doing anything or mixing with people who threaten their worldview.

I suspect some 5 year old will teach Zoomer in his first week at school that if he has a penis he is a boy., if not then he’s a girl.

A close relative at one point said that if they had a child, they would bring up said child without a gender. I told them go ahead do that, if you want to fuck that kid up, and besides once they start school, it would all go to pot as children will turn around and say "you've got a willy so you're a boy" or whatever. That shut them up. Still haven't got children yet.

If it weren't really happening I'd think this is a joke or irony. Instead, it's the year 2020. The craziest year of all.
There has to be a watershed moment when the (Western) world wakes up, rubs its eyes and says wtf???? Tell me it's coming soon.

This is such a bizarre thing to me that gender is something you choose. You have to choose and declare which box you fit into, or otherwise be labelled non-binary or gender fluid.

Why can't people just grow into personalities instead of these boxes? I guess there isn't something as special or culty about that!

@zanahoria

" Myers refers to her damaging childhood in the Mormon church - how can she not realise the damage she is inflicting on her own child?"

She may have forsaken her religion but maintained some of the habits. She has a fundamentalist attitude where she won't even let her kid enter a race that is split into boys and girls. It is exactly the sort of thing strict religious parents do - stop their kids doing anything or mixing with people who threaten their worldview.

I think that is a really interesting point. Her inflexible attitude, her fanatical insistence on maintaining the ideology even when it deprives the child of taking part in a race with peers, it's cult like.

Ok Zoomer.

Sorry!

I didn’t assign a gender to my kids either. I let them choose what they wanted to play with, choose how they dressed ... However, they always knew what sex they were. They never felt they had to choose a gender, and align their play and appearance with that gender.

Exactly, BlueBlueZoo. When did it become 'progressive' to not only revive 1950s gender stereotypes but raise them to the status of religious dogma? Not to mention bringing up a child to feel like an outsider, with a 50% chance of being ushered towards a lifetime of drugs and surgery.

So they’ve basically done what a load of parents do (without the song and dance).

Want the blue toy car? Ok
Want the pink dolly? Fine
Dress up as Batman? Sure
Dress up as Doodah out of Frozen? Only if you don’t sing the song...

As someone upthread- sounds exhausting (the parents not the pantomime).

Zoomer indeed. So are they writing a book or expecting a tv deal?

“ I have a gender-studies degree and a Ph.D. in sociology. In the decade before Zoomer was born, it was literally my job to study and educate others about gender...In my Sociology of Gender and Sexuality course...”

So kids pay for this dingbat to ‘educate’ them? 🙄 oh well we can only be thankful that they don’t have a science degree and teach biology. I’d be asking for my tuition fees back.

And, indeed, bigoted. "No, Zoomer, you shouldn't play with those people. Proper folk like us don't do that."

This is all very familiar; the hair is just more colourful.

Zoomer: Mummy (/whatever alternative name mummy has)?
Mummy: yes?
Zoomer: what's the word for people with willies?
Mummy: there isn't one
Zoomer: but there must be?
Mummy: there isn't
Zoomer: what about the people with fou-fous (/whatever alternative name they use), what are they called?
Mummy: there isn't one
Zoomer; but Mummy, there must be a name for all those people? Why isn't there a word? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
(Why? What's the word? ad nauseam until Mummy screams)

I can imagine them agonising if the child decided to make a grab for the ‘relevant’ coloured toy in a store - should they allow this or try to persuade the little darling to choose the opposite? If they allow either are they then reinforcing the gender stereotypes or not?

If a girl, do they positively steer them away from a Barbie dress to a pair of green dungarees with a lace trim - or to a Action Man themed outfit? If a boy do they refuse to let them have the superman outfit they actually want and try to persuade him into a princess dress?

@EyesOpening

Zoomer: Mummy (/whatever alternative name mummy has)? Mummy: yes? Zoomer: what's the word for people with willies? Mummy: there isn't one Zoomer: but there must be? Mummy: there isn't Zoomer: what about the people with fou-fous (/whatever alternative name they use), what are they called? Mummy: there isn't one Zoomer; but Mummy, there must be a name for all those people? Why isn't there a word? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? (Why? What's the word? ad nauseam until Mummy screams)

Followed by

“mummy- it has been brought to my attention that Zoomer is not actually a name. What made you think that this was a good idea? Are you aware of the psychological damage that is done to small children when their parents choose to selfishly use them in a sociological experiment? Are you aware of the cost of a lifetime of therapy - because you soon will... and call me Mary from now on...”

This reminds me of David Bowie calling his son Zowie Bowie. He switched to Duncan, a fine name, decades ago.

Brilliant director, I loved Moon.

@EyesOpening

How is Zoomer going to know how to prevent a pregnancy in the future for example?

I was wondering this

Zoomer has been taught that dads can get pregnant and mums can provide sperm. I'm sure they will set up some kind of penis and vagina based sex ed which removed the concept of man and woman.

I wonder what will happen when Zoomer reaches puberty? If Zoomer identifies as the opposite gender to their biological sex will they go down the path of puberty blockers and surgeries which is extre,ely damaging? If zoomer is a boy will he turn up in women's spaces with a big bushy beard saying he belongs there?