"They've made two girls unhappy to make one boy happier."

[GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal]

So said my DD, on her return from school having today, having been separated from her female partner, whom she got on really well with and worked well with, so that a boy, who didn't get on with his partner, could be sat with her instead.

It just seems like a microcosm of society in general. Let's make a large number of women unhappy, so that a small group of men can be happier.

@ClinkyMonkey

Sorry, where does it say specifically that OP's DD is the more able child? She could well be, but OP hasn't said this. And where does it mention that the boy has been disruptive? It sounds as though he and his partner didn't get along, so the teacher split them up. Someone was always going to be put out by this. I'm always intrigued by the way in which some posters add in their own details.

But I do agree in general that girls are too often used as a buffer for the poor/substandard behaviour of other pupils, usually boys. My DS has ADHD (still undergoing diagnosis) and is very inattentive and disorganised. He tries really hard to focus and to be tidy, but his brain has other ideas. His primary school teachers would place him with girls on either side and encourage them to help him organise his things. It was very unfair and demeaning for the girls to be given that responsibility. It was also frustrating for DS to have his stuff lifted and put away constantly (there were tears!), but worst of all, it was teaching him that it was the job of girls to organise boys. Terrible message.

In reference to the first paragraph - that's true enough. I took the situations where my son has been sat next to unwanted people and applied that. In his case it was because the other pupils had misbehaved. In this case if it is a case of mere dislike then what is to stop OP's child complaining on similar grounds. She should say something herself to the teacher. Teachers have been doing this kids of thing since my days in secondary school (so a very long time). It was done to me too - so you either accept it or speak up.

It sounds like that was the wrong 'solution' for you son Clinky my son is the same (ADHD) and he would have been mortified by such an arrangement. Also agree with your last line we shouldn't be teaching young girls in any case that their responsibility is to organise, be a monitor for the behaviour of others, or be responsible for the work of others. Girls are not responsible for boys - OTOH my son is also used as the buffer - should he be taught he is responsible for the behaviour of other boys too as he isn't the teacher or the type to be stopping someone being unruly as he would fear repercussions.

@ClinkyMonkey and @ThePankhurstConnection

Off topic but have your sons tried / used a 'Desk map'? Basically a piece of paper about A3 with a map of where everything should be?

So you have a rectangle with 'pencil case', another for 'ruler' and 'text book', exercise book etc etc.

You put it on the desk and put the equipment in the right spot so when you nave finished with a calculator or ruler it goes back to its 'home'

Depending on the child and their needs you can have a small one in a planner.

I know of one school that does this for all children in year 7 to help get them organised.

sashh Thank you for the information, my son is past that now and it is more about organising himself for revision etc. This is help though and I hope it assists someone else.

*helpful not help

To be fair - is this about girls or about behaviour? My unruly DD doesn't seem to have this happen to her but my very well behaved DS1 does, he's already been moved from his (male) friend to have a (male) child with very challenging behaviour sat next to him, it's really upset him too.

@sashh
That sounds really good thanks. I will definitely look into it. DS’s P5 teacher was the first teacher who ‘got’ him. DS would empty the contents of his school bag onto the table, find what he needed, then try to work on top of all the crap! His teacher got him into the habit of just one pencil and one sheet of paper/book. It took time but it kind of uncluttered his brain at the same time as his desk. He was a great teacher and I was grateful he put the time and effort in with DS as it was a large and ‘energetic’ class!