Conveyancers- man's name first

[MinnieMountain]

How much would this bother you if you were a woman and you put your name first on the forms/ your name is first alphabetically but your male DP was put first on your file?

I work for a licensed conveyancers as a title checker and I notice this on a significant number of files. I want to say something to the owners but as I'm not sure of their opinions on equal rights, I thought it best to ask around first.

@MinnieMountain

How much would this bother you if you were a woman and you put your name first on the forms/ your name is first alphabetically but your male DP was put first on your file?

I work for a licensed conveyancers as a title checker and I notice this on a significant number of files. I want to say something to the owners but as I'm not sure of their opinions on equal rights, I thought it best to ask around first.

I think it's hugely disrespectful. I've been the lead on all of our house purchases and sales. I also make all of the financial arrangements. My name is also alphabetically first. And yet my name is always put last. I've even received letters addressed solely to my DH in reply to letters signed by me. Despite the fact they never even meet or talk to my DH, because I deal with everything.

So it bugs me. Yes. I don't think it's random, a pure admin problem, a technical challenge or operator error. It is undeniably another expression of the patriarchy. Male is the default human, so males are addressed first.

I've been the lead on all of our house purchases and sales. I also make all of the financial arrangements. My name is also alphabetically first. And yet my name is always put last. I've even received letters addressed solely to my DH in reply to letters signed by me. Despite the fact they never even meet or talk to my DH, because I deal with everything.

So it bugs me. Yes. I don't think it's random, a pure admin problem, a technical challenge or operator error. It is undeniably another expression of the patriarchy. Male is the default human, so males are addressed first.

100% same, even my name is 1st alphabetically (it starts with an a "A" and his starts with a letter in the middle and we have the same last name so not remotely disputable)

I've rec'd letters addressed to DH for my company (he does not own even 0.1% of it) because he was my +1 at an event (didn't claim anything but being my 'arm candy'), and doesn't know anything about my profession (so booooooring to him lol) but is obviously the contact person for my email account and business because he has a penis. But I get the invites to the cocktail parties, somehow they know who I am when they plan to serve alcohol.

Penis penis penis penis ahh to have the privilege that penis havers beget other penis havers. Also sad because they think penises are superior which just illustrates the inferiority of many at best (materially and theoretically).

I've had this happen to me. Several times. It matters because I'm the one who deals with all that stuff. Whenever there's an issue that I have to contact someone about, a) they can't find it until I remember that they've probably put it under the wrong name, and b) I get told that they'll have to speak to Number One since he's listed first.

Result: dealing with issue much delayed and much aggro. (He's terrible at it. There's a reason I deal with it.)

So, yes, it matters in practice as well as in principle.

I came on to say what @DianasLasso said. There are consequences to these seemingly inconsequential daily inequalities.
Those building societies could have said - joint account, shares are allocated equally, but they didn't. They perpetuated the man's name first and when that impacted detrimentally on women they just shrugged.

My financial advisor puts my husband's name before mine, and will only call me Mrs even though I use Miss and my maiden name. I make all financial decisions in our house. Even worse - we use him because he is an old friend of mine that I have known over 20 years. He hasn't met my husband except talking over Skype about life insurance etc. For all these reasons, I can't believe he puts my name second on all our paperwork!

Yes, they (it was Abbey National at the time) lost out in the end because DH was as infuriated as me. He sold the shares and we had a good holiday and we closed the account and have never banked with them (or Santander) since.

It is annoying. I knew a lawyer who worked in conveyancing and he tried putting the woman's name first. His manager changed it to the man's name being first.