Knew it might happen... Sad it has (DD not conforming to gender norms)

[Aroundtheworldin80moves]

DD turned 7 recently. She is obsessed with dinosaurs, and wants to be a Paleontologist or Explorer when she grows up.... Or a cheerleader. All in all, she's just an average 7yo girl with her own likes and dislikes.

For Christmas she got a dinosaur lunch bag, school bag and water bottle. She loves them. Was excited to take them to school.

I had the lunch bags out yesterday. She looked at it sadly and told me how some of the boys had been teasing her, saying it must be her brothers or how she must think she's a boy. She is rather strong willed (i.e. vocal and bossy, I know her bad bits!) and tells them that girls can like dinosaurs too. They were even learning about Mary Anning in lessons at the time.

We work so hard to let our children develop their own likes and dislikes... And then they get nonsense like this over a lunchbox. She's chosen a new school bag... With more dinosaurs on (the last one is too small for Yr3) .

Good for her.

One of the coolest women I know is a palaeoanthropologist who travels the world like Indiana Jones, digging for bones in war zones.

" She is rather strong willed (i.e. vocal and bossy, I know her bad bits!) "

Why do you describe these as "bad bits". Yes, they're not considered 'becoming' for a girl/woman, but you have got to internalise and make sure she knows that it's society/culture/other peoples attitudes that are wrong.

Being assertive is a GOOD and useful trait that should not be squashed out of girls. Facilitate that. Encourage it. Though do help her find the line of obnoxiousness that would apply regardless of sex!

Your DD and her cohort have it so much tougher than we did... Lunch boxes were paper bags in my day, or a Tupperware container if mum had been to a party. Everyone's shoes had to be black leather laceups. Pencil cases were tartan. Perhaps it's all the visual signalling of gender that has triggered the current crisis.

I blame Disney.

Why not get your DD to tell the scoffers and mockers that girls often not only like dinosaurs, but can BE like dinosaurs, and do her TRex impression for them?

Oh how stupid.
There are loads of women paleontologists. And also for definite female dinosaurs.
7 years olds do seem to get quite rigid about gender stereotypes, don't know why.

@MiraWard77 the bad bits refers to, for example, arguing her viewpoint and flouncing off, more than her dominance... Shes learning to control her temper and put it to good use such as standing up for other people rather than shouting at her teacher believing they should have more playtime (as she did when she was five). Being assertive is definitely one of her good points.

At 6/7 years old they are learning about the "rules" of society and mortality. They first learn these in very rigid terms. Boys have a penis, boys wear blue, boys like dinosaurs. Girls don't have a penis, girls wear pink, girls like princesses. Or whatever. They learn the norms, values, rules, as dichotomies. right/wrong, Male/female, Rich/poor. Once they get black and white sorted, they move on to the all the shades in between.

Oh that's sad. I hope she continues to enjoy dinosaurs and doesn't listen to their nonsense. My toddler DD is getting really into dinosaurs and loves her older brother's hand me down toys. I was telling a relative about it the other day and they said 'well, nowadays you can get dinosaur toys for girls I suppose'. Like I'm supposed to rush out and buy her some tacky pink dino toys or something.

Dominance isn't a bad trait.

Agree that 6 is a very sexist age. When DD was 6, the teacher asked the class what jobs their parents did. DD said her mum was a doctor, and one little boy scornfully said I must just be a nurse as women can’t be doctors! The teacher had a hard job convincing him, despite the boy’s own local GP being female.

My DS is five and his favourite colour is pink so he happily had a pink lunchbox and water bottle for nursery without any comment. Last year for a few months his favourite toy was a Barbie doll that had a camera in it, he carried it everywhere. He constantly had comments from people (adults) saying Barbie is for girls, boys don't play with dolls he would just reply each time don't be silly.

I hope your daughter continues to enjoy dinosaurs

Are all dinosaurs 'boy dinosaurs' then? Maybe that's why they all died out! 😂

And what's with bossy being her bad bits? Don't take it out of her. It's her strength.

My dd2 has had this regarding her choices (football mad). She's just cut her hair short too. Drives me mad when the other kids say she is like a boy. I'm just keeping the narrative of girls can be into anything and there's no such thing as girls hobbies/toys/ colours.
Dd1 is similar but always seems less concerned about other's opinions. Her favourite colour age 3 was black and still is age 15.

Since when are dinosaurs male? Remind her that people who push gender stereotypes are the dinosaurs!

Maybe we should be teaching all little girls to tell their over-opinionated, sexist peers the language-appropriate way to fuck off and mind their own business. They're going to need still apparently.

Ds3 loved Frozen when he was in reception. He really wanted a Frozen party but was not brave enough. I was very happy for him to have a Frozen party just that he was worried about being teased. In the end he had a Frozen/ pirate party.

Go your DD - she is getting to the end of peak stereotype enforcement age so hopefully her classmates will stop being so silly soon. Towards end of primary they seem to get the hang of your interests/style not being imposed by your sex. I'm worried it may get worse in secondary again with the rule of trans ideology.
DS got "you're a girl" for having a red coat in y1, not even pink, red. He did want a pink coat as it happened but liked the red one when we were in the shop. DD had "you're a boy" for having closed top shoes. Goodness knows what they said to her short haired football obsessive never seen in a skirt girl classmate. Fortunately they like your DD just said their classmates were being silly and got on with things. I know a child who was transed by the constant deluge of "you're a girl" at school, having been perfectly happy being a gnc boy before that.

If all this crap doesn't start to normalise soon I think I'll tear my eyeballs out.

DD was into magnets and building things, it was considered very unusual (she's now 40) but guess what, they thought she was extra clever because she liked boys stuff.

She's brilliant at taking working out how to fix things. It's something she loves to do, her sex is female, I just let her be and her brother and everything else did too.

Those were the days, no pink in sight

everyone, not everything plus other errors

I would have a word with the teacher and flag this up as something to talk to the class about in general terms, e.g. 'boy things' and 'girl things' can actually be for anyone.

Or do a workshop on Mary Anning.

Oops sorry I missed that. So they have learned about her and still spout sexist claptrap?🙄

I was going to type but think your dd would appreciate 🦖🦕 instead.

Although I grew up not conforming to gender norms (Gaming was not popular with girls when I was growing up) children have it so hard with pink/blue culture. In my experience it gets better (boys aren't called gay or a girl for wearing pink after a certain age) but it shouldn't be hard in the first place.

Dd is 16 and has been into minecraft/computer games since she was 8. There were some quite unpleasant kids/parents in her primary class and once when some boys were discussing computer games she mentioned that she liked the particular game and was told "No you don't!" because obviously as a girl she must be lying. So relieved she's not at primary school any more. I worried about her going to her comp, imagining it would get worse but it's been far better than primary school for her. She's been a lot happier socially. Hope it's the same for your dd

I taught my now 12 year old daughter to question why it was a boy thing.

She was asking the kids in class if her shoes/bag/clothes required the use of a penis to wear them when she was 6 or 7.

She is now 12, rocks her short hair, wears what she wants and is super confident.

If she gets the odd comment now she just says she knows that she is fabulous, and she is 100% unaffected by anyone's opinion. The kids at school know this and rarely say anything to her anymore.

I wish I had a tenth of her confidence now at her age.

If that behaviour starts up again please let the teacher know. I teach KS1 and I’m always happy to challenge this sort of thing with the class!

Don't use the word bossy.

She sounds fab.