Please tell me if this domestic abuse campaign is as misogynistic as I feel it is...

[Learningtofeminist]

I’ve learned a lot on here about feminism, gender stereotyping and harmful tropes about gender. A friend posted this on Facebook tonight and it makes me VERY uncomfortable but I’m struggling to articulate why...

I don't think it's a campaign though is it? Just a meme, probably made by an MRA type.

I agree. Feeds into the narrative of poor man, shouty naggy woman. Also ignores two massive facts 1. the vast majority (unsure of stats) of DV is men attacking women and 2. Men suffering DV gets a huge amount of air time.

Surely that's not actually a campaign though? It's just something made up on an image editor.

Where is this campaign being advertised?

It was on here: www.facebook.com/MensAllianceNI/

swap the genders and roles do you still think it is unreasonable? I don,t think it is helpful but it doesn,t mean it isn,t true.

What do they mean by “destroy”? It’s not two men a week who are being murdered by their partners. This just reminds me of what Andrea Dworkin said - men will often respond to women’s words as if they were violence.

Woman shouting at man - unpleasant. Man breaking woman’s bones - infinitely worse and a lot more common.

@june2007 yes, I would. The first point I made to my friend was that I haven’t seen regular domestic abuse helplines demonise one sex in this way.

It’s just a nothing. Reverse the sexes and the sentiment is the same. Ignore it it’s posted by a stupid person.

It is absolutely sexist and very silly. MRAs love shouting about how women are more violent than men, how rape doesn't exist (but it suddenly does when they're talking about men being raped by women, ignoring the fact that men are usually raped by other men) and how men are the biggest victims of everything. It's all BS and the statistics prove that. NI...does that mean this is based in Ireland?

Females successfully convicted of domestic abuse in 2018 were 5,044
Males successfully convicted of domestic abuse in 2018 were 62,973.

Men do suffer domestic abuse from women but obviously women are at much greater risk form men.

She's probably asking him to take the bins out again as it's his one fucking job and she does everything else.

And that's just as bad male violence as we all know.

@SheWhoWillNotPutUpWithYourShit

She's probably asking him to take the bins out again as it's his one fucking job and she does everything else.

And that's just as bad male violence as we all know.

Reminds me of that study that showed men classed domestic violence as a woman not having dinner on the table. I wish I was joking.

Yup typical MRA bullshit. A shame really as I won't deny that there are men out there who need help and support, and some of their posts are ok/reasonable.

Then the mask slips...

It's a goady image no doubt, but I think men struggle more than women to face up to abuse due to social stigma, which has been demonstrated by recent studies - I remember one where they asked women if they'd ever hit their partner and the result was surprisingly much higher than when they asked men, which they proposed was maybe because men were embarrassed to admit.

Men are definitely more violent but recent-ish studies have shown that women are more controlling and I sometimes wonder if that contributes to the 80 men a week who kill themselves - a staggering figure. Perhaps they feel 'defeated' and question their manhood.

I'll try and find the study I read a while back which was a bit of an eye opener for me.

Ultimately, it's not a competition though. I'd like to see both sexes helped which isn't a mutually exclysive thing. Never understood those who complain that men need to step up and help themselves but then protest against thing like International Men's Day.

www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/10927507/Women-are-more-controlling-and-aggressive-than-men-in-relationships.html

Ah, that one needs a share token. Here's one about the same study, sadly from the Daily Fail.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2669408/amp/Rise-female-relationship-terrorists-Study-finds-women-controlling-aggressive-partners-men.html

Goady AF. Women-focused anti DV campaigns don't focus on demonising men. I don't think it's the same if you reverse the sexes, because there's a trope of it's women's fault when men do bad things/all men are good until women get involved. The same picture with a caption of maybe "some women destroy men too... but we don't talk about that" would sit better and sound more genuine to me (although I think there is actually more discussion of women on men abuse than these MRAs like to admit).

They do have a certain style ...

@Shmurf you don't think that the number of women(706) being significantly higher than the number of men (396) might have something to do with the numbers found in the research?

@dandymandy Northern Ireland is part of the United Kingdom not the Republic of Ireland

Of course 'we talk about that' - an entire verb 'to nag' was invented to address the suffering of poor men having to hear women say things they don't like with no equivalent for women.

@Shmurfyou don't think that the number of women(706) being significantly higher than the number of men (396) might have something to do with the numbers found in the research?

Statistical analysis isn't something I'm great at tbh. I hadn't noticed that imbalance, but surely they would've looked at the proportion of each group which claim to be violent.

Wouldn't there being more women make it harder to demonstrate violent tendencies - i.e. if they only interviewed two women it would only take one of them to being violent to be able to state that 50% of female interviewees were violent? Maybe I'm talking shit though. 😂