I am so, so tired

[terrifiedlesbian]

Just as the title really. I'm so tired of being told that I'm a bigot for not wanting to sleep with trans women, that being a lesbian at all is bigotry, that using the term lesbian instead of queer or pan is bigotry. Even my fucking therapist was shocked when I said I wouldn't want to sleep with ANYONE with a penis, no matter how they 'identify'. EVEN MY GIRLFRIEND DISAGREES WITH ME. I'm absolutely exhausted, and have been called a TERF so many times now that even opening facebook or reddit or basically any article about sexuality or pride or anything remotely related, give me an instant stomach ache. I'm so fucking tired.

Sex and relationships are all about consent. It’s the fundamental bedrock of all of it.
What notyourhandmaiden and michelle have said is spot on. sexuality isn't inclusive, we all know that, nobody has any reason to expect it to be so: unless they are a person who sees others as deserving no agency about who they are intimate with.

That’s pretty much my definition of someone who is not emotionally or physically safe to be around.

If the ‘self identified gender has made biological sex irrelevant’ brigade were actually ‘inclusive’ themselves, then there would be no question of trying to guilt biological women into fucking biological men, because biological sex would be truly irrelevant and like anyone else, they’d just be seeking out a willing partner.

Yet, it’s uncanny how the men’s sexual entitlement coercers always seem to know who is a woman.

I think it’s terrible what has been done to same- sex attracted culture, to female single sex culture and to safeguarding and medical ethical culture by this sexist, homophobic political dogma. I hope you can find ways to connect with like minded women IRL and that you can find support for dealing this. This is not a pressure anyone should be subjected to.

Even though I know it's happening It still stuns me.
Men with their male bodies deliberately deceiving potential partners into going on dates with them.
That is all levels of wrong.

I suppose you can never tell who you'd be attracted to. Sometimes relationships form from friendships. BUT I would say if I was dated as a previous poster said I would discriminate based on my preferences for appearance, job / prospects, outlook. If straight people can say my ideal man or women is .. then anyone can say it. Crack on OP just rise above it.

I'm sorry that you have been put in this awful position

It is all about consent. Women can say no to some or all men for any reason whatsoever. No need to justify or explain.