Diversity week-do my dc need to know they're teachers ' sexuality?

[SistemaAddict]

Dd has been sent a video for the school diversity week. Teachers hold up pieces of paper with something about them written on it e.g. Gay and Proud, curly hair, Jamaican etc to give 3 examples. The information before the video states:

"...please watch the staff video to get a sense of how diverse our school is. We have such a range of different personalities, hair colour, opinions, genders, sexualities, religions, beliefs and colours that our school is a rich, welcoming diverse pot..."

I struggle to see how it's anyone's business what sexuality you are especially for a child to know that of their teacher. Surely sexuality is a private matter and not one to share with students? The video shows one teacher with a piece of paper saying gay and proud. They are not the only gay teacher in the school so it makes me wonder why they chose to say this about themselves but the other teachers chose something else about themselves. Another teacher declaring they have bipolar which seems something else that is not something to share with students. I get that they might be sharing so that students feel they have something in common with their teachers but it doesn't sit comfortably with me.

I can't see anything wrong with this, my teachers always mentioned their wives and husbands

Apart from a history teacher and a maths teacher who were married to each other and a modern languages teacher and a physics teacher who were married to each other none of my teachers discussed their private lives.

The 2 couples didn't mention their spouses- why would they?

And if you mind your children know Mr Brown has a husband then I assume you dont want Mrs Johnson to ever mention hers... Or are you ok with teachers talking about their hetero marriages?

No I actually I wouldn't be ok with teachers talking about their hetero marriages. What the hell has that got to with teaching maths, history, English etc?

When I was at school in the 00’s the thought of ANY teacher’s personal/sex life made me feel a bit bleurgh.

I just thought of them as totally non sexual beings, who didn’t exist outside school.

But I was a straight kid. I’d rather a student questioning their sexuality felt comfortable going to a trusted adult that they knew in real life than one of those twitter weirdos who offer to be “surrogate parents” to LGBT who don’t want to talk to their own mum or dad.

I dont think teachers should be made to tell pupils. And I feel a bit uncomfortable about a video where they hold up signs with their sexuality, like mr jones, geography, gay, mrs smith, maths, straight. But if a teacher wants to tell students and is comfortable with that then its not a problem, I dont have any issue with children knowing the sexuality of their teachers but a sort of list of teachers and their sexualities seems strange - its almost making into too big of a deal

Lots of my teachers would mention their wives/husbands - we had teachers say my wife/female name if they were lesbian, or husband/male name if they were gay. A big deal wasnt made of it and I think that normalises a bit more.

Maybe holding up signs is a bit forced but I remember it being fairly normal when I was at school for some teachers to talk about their families etc...not all did but definitely the more 'chatty' teachers did.

I think there's a line somewhere between teachers seeming human and approachable and not ruining their ability to be an authority figure (which would be totally necessary in my DS's school, which had issues with gangs of boys for a while) a little bit of mystery and stand offishness can be needed for that.

No I actually I wouldn't be ok with teachers talking about their hetero marriages. What the hell has that got to with teaching maths, history, English etc?

I know. How dare a teacher connect with the pupils. Just teach and shut up

Children worry about being different
If there is one child with any worry about their sexuality, body image or mental health they need to know they are not alone.

If the teachers are happy to say something about themselves I don't see any problem.

If you come from a family or community where being gay is a sin who do you turn to, to not feel like a failure or when you are considering suicide?

Personally I think it is fine for teachers to be able to be open that they are gay and mention that they have a same sex husband/wife. But that nobody should be expected to share what their sexuality is or what their relationship status is.

I used to work (not in a school) with a gay man who was very insistent that people must be out at work. This was in a relatively liberal environment with plenty of senior gay or lesbian seniors so there was no obvious big career risk by coming out. I disagreed and said whilst disclosure is absolutely fine, who I choose to sleep with, and what sex they are, was none of his business and if I choose to keep that to myself then that is up to me.

I know. Howdarea teacher connect with the pupils. Just teach and shut up

What a ridiculous comment.

The teachers' private lives have nothing to do with their pupils. The teacher who taught me biology connected with me over a shared interest in the novels of Evelyn Waugh and lent me his own copies for my 6th year English dissertation. He suggested Waugh was a better choice from the point of view of the examiners than Somerset Maugham whom I had been considering.

That is connecting in a useful way. I've no idea what his marital status or sexual predilection were.

I think I see someone's sexuality as nothing of interest to anyone but that person so I don't understand the need to centre it in everything. This teacher is openly gay, gets students involved in discussions about LGBTQ+ matters and makes my dd uncomfortable because of the discussions. She has no interest who is gay or straight. Year 7 assembly "raise your hand if you're straight" Really?? Dd is now year 8 and says she thinks she probably is straight but doesn't know because it's not something she's really thought about until secondary school and diversity week. Oh and LGBTQ+ week/month in March too. Just one day for IWD though.

I hadn't thought of knowing if teachers were married or not. I don't recall any of my teachers talking about their families at all. Except for a headteacher who got married and changed her name so we had to use her new name. That's the only way it was a thing.

I assume it was entirely voluntary. It would definitely wrong if it had been done as, "Mr Jones, you're gay, so you have to be in this video." But I'd like to think no school would be that crass.

When I was at school, we knew some teachers' sexualities, not least because it was a small town, so the chemistry teacher's daughter was in my sister's class and so on. But a lot of them I didn't know about at all, and while there were rumours about some, in most cases, it just wasn't something we thought about much. In any case, Section 28 was in force, so they couldn't have said anything about it.

I feel the same about work - of course we shouldn't be discriminating against anyone, but if someone is gay, there's no reason for me to know - what I care about is their technical knowledge or their authority to sign off on something.

Having said that, we do have active employee support groups for minorities and protected characteristics, and we have a name for being a good employer in terms of diversity. But it is all voluntary. I know people who would fall into a particular group, and are annoyed at being the default person to ask about diversity events - it can make people feel like they're the token. Having a diverse school or work population doesn't count for much if there's no focus on the inclusion side of things.

So it depends how it's done...

wellbehaved that’s such a shame. I suppose I was naive in thinking it’s the norm now, I thought/hoped it was universal in that generation
The school isn’t progressive particularly, it’s a small Private school in Yorkshire but the kids (at least in DDs circle) really don’t seem at all interested in who is Gay/straight etc

What a ridiculous comment.

The teachers' private lives have nothing to do with their pupils.

Correct, but you said teachers should just teach and not discuss their lives. It's literally fine for a teacher to mention a spouse. You reckon my comment is ridiculous

I think your comment was ridiculous hyperbole and a straw man.

I did not say teachers should not connect with their pupils. I said it was no businesses of pupils to know about their teachers' private personal lives. What I said was "No I actually I wouldn't beok with teachers talking about their hetero marriages"

You chose to misinterpret that. Whether that was due to a failure in comprehension or deliberate, I don't know.

I gave you an example of a teacher connecting in a meaningful way; whether that teacher was gay, straight, married or whatever was beyond irrelevant to the assistance and encouragement he gave me.

When I was teaching I tried to reveal as little as possible about my personal life to pupils. I would discuss the dogs maybe or a hobby. Framed in the context of a lesson sometimes. I made connections with pupils usually by talking to them about them! By natural progression many classes will have found out that I had a make partner at home. Because I'm femake they all knew my marital status through the miss vs mrs mechanism. I'm not sure how Ms would have gone down. If I was still in teaching now I would go by Ms.

I didn't know at the time I was teaching but I am autistic... I can see a situation in which SLT could have pressured me into holding up a sign saying "autistic" in a context like this. You would do it because SLT asked etc. But it would be a really bad idea to reveal that level of personal information in my view. I hope the bipolar teacher is well-supported, I don't think that was a good idea.

I don't think there's anything wrong in pupils knowing a teacher is gay but the video context is cringey! I just think that knowledge would come out naturally anyway if the teacher is comfortable with that.

To be honest I couldnt have told you if half my colleagues were straight or gay anyway. Unless people talked about family it just didn't come up! Maybe that was my autism though... not. that. interested!

A make partner? A male partner!

Female! FGS autocorrect!

I assumed you were talking about a partner made out of a plush material WomaninBoots.

Year 7 assembly "raise your hand if you're straight"

Yay grooming at school! FFS

Now that really would not be something to bring up at school nauticant

I HATE all this "diversity" stuff we are constantly bombarded with it at work.

a) All it does is divide people and point out superficial differences between people, as if those minor facts about everyone defines them as a person. I have been in situations at work in D&I training where a particular "difference" is mentioned and eveyone looks at the person who is "different"! (It's not a great way to make you feel included..!)
I just don't see the point. Make an effort to employ a diverse range of people and then let them get on with their jobs.

b)I don't see why any teacher, gay, straight or bi, needs to discuss their personal life at all. If they happen to mention "my wife" or "my husband", whichever sex they are, fine, but they really don't need to be "connecting" with students by giving them details of their lives.
Being lesbian or gay is normal. It's a fairly common thing to be, just act normal about it!

Oh, and the sexuality of the students: Also none of the teachers business.

And I thought yours was idiotic and twattery at its finest

What an intelligent response. You twisted what I said and created a straw man.

I think it’s out of order, the poor teachers deserve their privacy. I grew up in an era where it was taboo to mention even the teachers’ first names and their private life was off limits - rightly so, a bit of distance helps with authority. Equally, pupils private business is nothing to do with school. Stamp out outright homophobia etc but stop harping on about it beyond that.

Your teacher is not your kid’s friend and shouldn’t try to be. Seems schools are asked to solve all of society’s problems. They need to focus on education, lord knows somebody needs to !