How do you 'feel like a woman' today?

[hypernormal]

The question of how it's possible for someone to 'feel like a woman' is usually answered by those who 'identify as female' with sexist stereotypes - things such as liking barbie as a child, playing with girls, liking makeup and dresses etc. I'm interested to hear how biological women would answer this question.

This morning I woke up early with period pains, so I took some paracetamol. Then, when I changed my menstrual cup it was so full that it spilled on my trousers that I'd just put on, so I had to wash them and find something else to wear that will fit my massively, hormonally bloated stomach. This is not something that happens to transwomen, yet this is the only way in which I 'feel like a woman' so far today.

How do you 'feel like a woman' today?

That I fed my kids this morning before I fed myself. That I feel I need to wear make up to look nice to meet with the approval of others. That I must remember to rub my HRT cream in later - it’s two pumps today.

For those having issues with their pelvic floor. Get one of these, they are absolutely fantastic. I was beginning to experience stress incontinence (menopausal and all that), bought one of these and the problem was gone. You do have to persevere with them though. It does seem a lot to spend but Tena aren't cheap and if you think how much those cost over time. Cheaper brands are available, this is the brand I bought.

www.kegel8.co.uk/kegel8-pelvic-toners.html

Well I’m currently using the protected category of Sex in the equality act to take a day off work sick because of a pregnancy related problem, which my employer can’t count as normal sickness and use to dismiss me or in redundancy calculations. So that’s a bonus.

The fact that I need the day off because my biology means I’m experiencing the pregnancy related problem because I’m a woman, isn’t so great though. If my mum had experienced this problem when pregnant with me she would have lost her job with no protection at all.

TheSingingKettle49

Rest up and have a relaxing day

Yes biology is the only time i am conscious of being a woman. A lot of the time i dont notice - perhaps thats the cis privilege people talk about.

I suppose i notice if i am treated like a woman - thats harder to pinpoint but the whole walk in the room and people assume you will make the tea and take the minutes. Or men talking over the top of you or they just repeat what you said and get the credit, or having to take up a small space or get out the way so the man can take up the big space and not move.

Last week I had to get up at 4am to change my bed & leave my bloodstained sheet soaking in cold salty water until it was late enough to put it through the washing machine.

I felt pretty womanly then.

Brain fog, probably due to peri-menopause, much more forgetful

Interesting how so many of you are feeling womanly due to pregnancy or period. Almost as if you'd deliberately picked something that transwomen will never experience

How peculiar. It's almost as though being a woman to a large extent is a bodily/biological reality, and the various ways that this being in a female body is disciplined, acculturated, discriminated against etc.

I think (in answer to the daft comment about "how come you're only picking on stuff to do with the female body?" which I think was tongue in cheek), the bottom line is this.

When I do the washing up, I don't do it in a womanly frame of mind.

When I do maths, I don't do it in a womanly frame of mind.

When I do my shopping, I don't do it in a womanly frame of mind.

When I write computer code, I don't do it in a womanly frame of mind.

For me there is nothing that I "feel like a woman" about other than the ones connected with my biology. And it's worth remembering that those feelings are for the most part a small, and almost always annoying, part of my life - period pains, morning sickness, the bizarre symptoms that pregnancy brings, the crap that is the perimenopause - all negative. Well, pregnancy did have a few interesting and amusing symptoms - quite liked the feeling of the baby bobbing around inside and apparently executing Olympic gymnastic routines, and it was hilarious when he had hiccoughs. And of course there was the major plus point of a baby at the end of the process.

I suppose the only other way in which I'm ever made to "feel like a woman" is when some bloke tries to patronise me or discriminate against me, or threatens me with sexual violence , because he sees me as a woman. So something done to me from outside which provokes a response in me, not something intrinisic to me.

But "feeling like a woman" as opposed to "feeling like a human being" - that's down to biology, and other people exhibiting prejudice and inflicting it on me. It's nothing going on inside my head.

Looking at a possible infection on my toe. Thinking if I end up going to the GP do I cave to acceptable social standards and shave my legs. Or stick to my own standards and leave it, but face possible embarrassment and needing to explain why they haven’t been shaved in a year.

Not because I’m depressed , but because I don’t want to...

I am obsessed with 7 pounds of weight.

I am peri-menopausal and get rage. Real, unrestricted rage that is bad for my career and my family. Mothers and women in caring professions don't have rage. The rage is just at the surface as this government fucks over working mothers. I am in Wales, which is fucking us over worse that England.

The best way to manage the rage is with a combined pill, but you see I am 45 and my doctor doesn't want me to have it because of stroke risk. She she weighs me every 3 months and takes my blood pressure. I have gained a half stone in lockdown, and am terrified she will take away my pills, and I will have to parent two teenagers, a toddler, and do a full time job from home with rage.

That is what it feels like to be a woman today. Counting calories to hold off the rage. If you don't have my blend of hormones and cultural mandate to be gentle, then you won't get it.

At the moment, my gender doesn't feel like it's 100% biological - it feels far more like it's a socially constructed set of expectations and I'm sort of impressed by the women on here who don't feel that, because I really do.

Honestly I feel both. I’m feeling the biological reality of existing in a female body extra hard right now because of pregnancy. I’m thinking a lot about my biological mother who died in childbirth because my own impending birth has it playing on my mind. I’m also missing my adored adopted mum whose support I could really use right now but who died of breast cancer a few years back. (Guess which of her children took on most of her care whilst she was dying? Guess whose career was more expendable in those circumstances? The male one or the female ie me? That one is societal expectations right?) I’m very aware of biology right now, and that there are tangible and distinctly different biological realities arising from existing in a male or a female body.

But I’ve been the woman with no children and who couldn’t get pregnant without treatment. My best friend does not want children and hasn’t had any at approaching 50. She’s had the judgement and the weight of expectations in a different way. My 84 year old aunt never married or had children and has a take or two to tell about those socially constructed expectations and how they affect women differently to men. A close, younger relative has a very rare condition where she was born without some of the female reproductive organs and some that didn’t develop fully. She’ll never menstruate or have children. She’s indisputably a woman though. Her condition only affects the female sex. The gap between her reality and the expectations of what a woman is/should be/will experience can be painful for her at times, she will face specific issues different to many women but they will still be because she’s a woman.

So far I've negotiated over sex with my dh this morning ( pregnant after mmc so worried about hurting baby) weighed myself and inwardly celebrated half a pound off that appeared yesterday but is gone today. I've got funny pains in my stomach ( probably stretching) which I'm worrying about. I've washed my daughters hair and attempted to dry it through her tears and complaints that she hates her long hair but she doesn't want to cut it like a boy (her words). I'm now blow drying my own hair which is very long and takes a stupid amount of time up but it gives me chance to think about what I'm going to wear to look vaguely nice for my husband whilst also counting calories in my head. When I've finished that I'll put some makeup on. So ye I reckon I've covered a few stereotypes before 10am

I woke up and had to put on a bra immediately because my breasts are so saggy from BF that I feel uncomfortable otherwise. Said bra has been digging into the sides of my breast all day despite previously being my most comfortable.

Then I went out and was gaped at about twenty times by various men (I had to go into a public loo to check that I didn’t have something smeared on my face, I did not).

I proceeded to spend the day trying to entertain two young children visiting museums, cafes etc. whilst being stared out and feeling exhausted and depressed (PMS).

Womanhood to me is a combination of physical inconveniences, unwanted male attention and terrible mood swings. Make up and barbie dolls don’t come into it.

That's just it. Even "menstruator" as a euphemism for "woman" is utter bollocks. Not all women experience it. Doesn't make us any less "womanly". Maybe the fact that I have to sit down to pee?

You either have XX or XY chromosomes.

cheeky chappy 😂

I gave horrendous peri-menopausal OMG this morning causing headache, backache and crippling cramps. Plus a massive spot on my cheek.

Never felt more like a woman.

Omg = pmt.

My womaning is weary.

I don't feel like a woman but know I am one because of the perimenopausal symptoms that dominate every aspect of my life. I have begged for HRT but am not allowed it because of a family risk of breast cancer.

Like beerincomechampagnetastes, I'd happily give the perimenopause to any woman-identifying male that wants it. Ditto the risk of breast cancer.

I suppose the only other way in which I'm ever made to "feel like a woman" is when some bloke tries to patronise me or discriminate against me, or threatens me with sexual violence , because he sees me as a woman. So something done to me from outside which provokes a response in me, not something intrinisic to me

This. When I discuss cycling to work with a male colleague and I point out I don’t cycle home on late shift as I don’t feel comfortable cycling alone after midnight through some estates and isolated areas.

And the clear difference that to me means TWa not W- if someone disagrees with me I don’t threaten to silence them with “suck my cock”.

I was emptying the dishwasher while watching DSs new Fortnite video he’s very excited about, hoping to be able to get to my 8.30 conference call on time . DH breezes in and took the coffee I had just made myself (which I hadn’t had time to drink yet), says thank you and goes back upstairs to what was MY office but as he has a very important JOB that earns so much more than me I am relegated to the dining room and the bloody uncomfortable chairs while I do the job I am woefully overqualified for and answering to people half my age with half my experience but I will do it because the job is PT and works around the dc.
I will spend most of the day hoping the dog doesn’t bark when I’m on the phone to a client as he has to be in the room with me or he will just bark outside it. I have suggested the dog go upstairs into DDs room where he will just chill out but DH “doesn’t like him upstairs “ DD15 will probably have a crisis at some point but there will be “no point in speaking to Dad about it” so I will be offering chocolate and kind words there too.
That’s before I even mention my dodgy hips from giving birth, my post birth piles (DS is 10 but I don’t have time for surgery) and my need for Tena if I don’t want to smell of wee.
Man, I feel like a woman.

I woke up had blood all over.my undies, then realised it was all.over the sheets. I've stripped the bed and am now feeding DD. My DH is late home again because of a nightmare week and I've managed a good hour or so of work where I needed to do five

5 months pregnant with zero pelvic floor after birthing two 10 pounders I’m doubling up on tena as every sneeze (hayfever) is accompanied by a squirt of urine.
My oldest and grayest m&s bra is the only one that fits atm so dug it out, no sexy lace here!
Cooked breakfast for my family
Unloaded and loaded the dishwasher
Put the bins out

Hot flashes throughout the night meant I had very poor sleep so I had to drag myself out of bed this morning to do breakfast for the kids and dogs as DH is wfh in his busy and important job.

I will start my shift in retail this afternoon where I have to wear entirely uncomfortable clothes and footwear. I’ll have to style my hair and wear makeup because I am expected to look well groomed (it actually states this in our policies). The only stipulation for men (not that I work with any) is tidy hair and beard and no jeans.

I have three abdominal hernias from x3 pregnancies. These cause me discomfort and sometimes pain, and are often visible through clothes so I have to factor these in to all my wardrobe decisions. They won’t operate to remove them on the nhs because that’s not something they do these days because of the chance of reoccurrence.

I have a mirena because my husband is dragging his feet over getting the snip. I’m pretty sure this fucks with my mental health but I’ve had one for sixteen years now and don’t remember what I was like before. I take a cocktail of medication for bipolar symptoms which disproportionately affects women, but every day I wonder whether it’s the artificial hormones causing the mood swings.

Every day at work I get at least one inappropriate comment from a male customer. The worst being ones who are buying gifts for their wives.