How do you 'feel like a woman' today?

[hypernormal]

The question of how it's possible for someone to 'feel like a woman' is usually answered by those who 'identify as female' with sexist stereotypes - things such as liking barbie as a child, playing with girls, liking makeup and dresses etc. I'm interested to hear how biological women would answer this question.

This morning I woke up early with period pains, so I took some paracetamol. Then, when I changed my menstrual cup it was so full that it spilled on my trousers that I'd just put on, so I had to wash them and find something else to wear that will fit my massively, hormonally bloated stomach. This is not something that happens to transwomen, yet this is the only way in which I 'feel like a woman' so far today.

How do you 'feel like a woman' today?

Guiltyfeminist1 A hard squeeze of his 'magnificent' bollocks? Cos you forgot it hurts, right?

Definitely my period and having pains because I've not long had the coil fitted.

2 yr old DS2 is currently having a feed, so I feel general ickiness from that, plus discomfort at him twisting my bra strap and digging in with his knees.

I saw a blue tit feed its sqwaking babies and I sympathised.

milktwosugars
These are all women’s issues whether we experience them personally or not.

I’ve never had FGM but I can see that it is absolutely a woman’s issue.

Menstruation, stomach ache, mood swings. Although some of those could be experienced by anyone...

My boobs are sagging... my tummy has that mum tum but extra weight on top now.

Woke up. Brushed my hair which I keep long. Despite being in a professional role society is OK with that, and in fact encourages it. Spent a while faffing with it so it was properly blow dried and looked nice. Spent a while on makeup because I'm due to be on a fairly important Skype call today and society expects me to look a certain way.

Didn't have breakfast because I am judged if I'm bigger so I count calories.

Read a couple of messages on the Whatsapp group thread for other women who went to the same all girl's boarding school as me - an intensely female socialised environment where the kind of physical bullying that happens at boys boarding schools was non existent, but where eating disorders were near universal, and emotional bullying and complex peer pressure was near explosive. Every single girl I know who went to boarding school experienced that kind of weird intense social pressure and zero men I know who went to boarding school did. Having said that, I made some incredibly close friends there who I remain friends with until today. The thread this morning contains a couple of the other women gossiping about their babies. I don't have children but am included anyway because the assumption is that as a woman, I'm interested.

Started work in my job which is hugely female dominated. Literally 90% women in my kind of role. Made a mental note that I need to do some cleaning and tidying lately because society treats a dirty house from me as a moral failing, as opposed to a loveable quirk in a man. Was moderately internally annoyed at this fact but will do it anyway. Vaguely browsed the internet for some equipment for a very male dominated hobby I do which people make comments about if I talk about it and men are kind of threatened and become prickly if I reveal that I'm often "better" at this thing than them.

Opened Mumsnet, which I joined due to TTC and saw this and thought 'man - I identify with not a lot of this stuff because I don't have kids yet. Maybe this will change if the IVF works but god knows'. At the moment, my gender doesn't feel like it's 100% biological - it feels far more like it's a socially constructed set of expectations and I'm sort of impressed by the women on here who don't feel that, because I really do.

I would like to go for a walk a bit further afield but am nervous about the lack of open toilets. One difficult birth had led to me finding it hard to hold on. I know penis havers get prostate problems but its much easier to wild wee with a penis.

I also am about to go to my low paid, low status, part time to fit around the children job and have society judge me for both working at all (should be sahp) and not working full time (shouldnt be living off a man). Even though the whole structure of society made this a sensible 'choice' for our family

I have underwired bras as I need the extra support after three children. Weight gain during lockdown means they don’t fit anymore and are are painful.

Well today I womaned down the stairs; ate my breakfast in a dainty feminine manner while flicking my long hair over my shoulders; then I boobily-breasted my way back upstairs; Stood in front of the mirror as I dressed criticising my slightly too large eyes, small but perfectly-formed breasts and long tanned legs; I put on a bra to validate my femininity. Later I’ll be having a luxurious bubble-bath and a pillow fight with my best friend while we wear only white cotton underwear.

Sorted out the children's breakfast and homeschooling and a pile of laundry before logging on to my first work call. This included understanding the new way that one of the DCs teachers is going to be managing online learning and making sure that the new login worked and that DC understood what they were doing. This automatically fell to me despite the fact that the information about it was sent to both DH and myself last night.

(Background - DH is brilliant, but as a couple we need to protect his job more than mine because he is the main breadwinner after my career was disrupted for around 10 years carrying, birthing and feeding three children. Which funnily enough, wasn't a responsibility we could share out between us due to biological facts).

Interesting how so many of you are feeling womanly due to pregnancy or period. Almost as if you'd deliberately picked something that transwomen will never experience

OR the only ways in which I feel like a woman are due to either biology, or trying to meet sexist social standards that men don't have to meet. So now I'm off to shave my legs - not because it's something I enjoy or makes me feel 'girly', but because I've been socialised to think hairy legs are disgusting on a woman, and don't want people staring and commenting when I go to the supermarket later.

I had my biopsy results back yesterday I don't have cervical cancer although no idea why I bleed so long and so much.

Sorry to the poster who felt most of us 'deliberately' chose things that trans women cannot have - it's just the things I am worried about at the moment and really why should I apologise that a trans woman cannot worry about the possibility of cervical cancer, go through the awful biopsy experience and then worry about the results - I mean seriously!

I'm feeling fat and exhausted and as if my body has been stolen and substituted for one that doesn't work anymore - thanks menopause.

And confused a bit as to how I have so much privilege and yet I am so invisible and so easily dismissed.

And scared for my daughter who has to grow up into a world that appears to hate her because of her biology.

MillieChant

Best wishes with the IVF xx

I'm picking on period (woke up about 4.00 am with that horrible gushy feeling of "you're about to bleed all over the clean bedsheets" feeling, and had to change a pad).

Other than that - I'm just being me. Feeling like me. The only me I know about. I don't know how it feels to be any other person on the planet.

Sometimes (because I'm a reasonably empathetic person) I can make a reasonably shrewd guess that they are probably feeling similar ways to me in similar circumstances, and all sorts of clues (facial expressions, body language, what they say) tell me I'm probably right. Other times, they may react quite different ways to similar circumstances to ones I've been in in the past - and that's okay, because we're all slightly different from one another.

But the only "feeling female" feelings I have are to do with the physical sensations of my sexed body. The rest are just a variety of "being human" feelings, as mixed and varied a bag, and with as little or as much overlap with the person next door, as any other human on the planet.

Mycatismadeofstringcheese

DancelikeEmmaGoldman

Failed entirely at womaning today. Put on gumboots and sloshed out in the mud to take hay to the horses. I wore lipgloss, does that count?

Phew. Lipgloss. You just made it into being a woman today Dance. Well done. It counts darling. It counts.

No lipgloss and you would have been a man.

@MilkTwoSugarsThanks

Interesting how so many of you are feeling womanly due to pregnancy or period. Almost as if you'd deliberately picked something that transwomen will never experience 😉

I'm not pregnant. I don't menstruate. I am not even close to "proper" menopause. What does that make me?

I have XY chromosomes 🤷🏼‍♀️

Biology is the only reason I feel like a woman. What else would it be? My pink lady brain?

Apart from feeling emotional due to pesky PMT and a deep sigh because I have quite a bit of housework today... actually I don't feel womanly at all. I'm experiencing PMT because I'm female, I'm doing housework because it needs to be done.

I never wake up thinking "oh I feel so womanly today." I wake up think what have I got to do and I get on with it. I have no idea what woman feels like. I am one because of my sex.

fromMarch -

When I was pregnant with both my children I developed gingivitis. Despite excellent treatment from my dentist it's left me with deep pockets between my back teeth, which means that every few weeks I get a really bad headache. I also get at least one period related headache each month. Today I've got both combined. I feel like a woman.

Interesting how so many of you are feeling womanly due to pregnancy or period. Almost as if you'd deliberately picked something that transwomen will never experience

Yes well. The peri menapause is kicking my ass all over the place with symptoms too numerous to list. The impact on my life is immeasurable.
I’d gladly give it to you if I could.

And there is so much more to being a woman than our biological oppression that a male bodied person will never know or experience.

*anyone who wanted it

Milk

Cheeky chappy?