How feminist views change as you get older

[Michelleoftheresistance]

Or films that make you go hmm....

I remember being shown several key women's films while I was doing A levels and at university, in one case studying women writers. Shirley Valentine was one, Educating Rita was another. I got the general key messages at the time: women trying to escape the stereotypes to be more, to be allowed to be themselves, to seek their own fulfilment instead of someone else's, the unfairness of societal roles.

I saw Educating Rita again a few days ago, not having seen it in decades, and it was like watching a completely different film. For a start, when I first saw it as a teenager, I saw Rita as a mature student, an adult much older than me, where I watch it now and think she's early twenties, she's so young and there's vulnerability there I hadn't seen.

But the key message of that film for me watching it now is a triangle of incompetent males who were certain they could be happy if they could force Rita to be who they wanted. Her abusive father, her horrible husband, the creepy professor. All males, incapable of taking responsibility for themselves or their problems, trying to compel a woman to turn herself in to what they needed to fix them, and punishing her when she didn't do it right or it didn't work, or she dared to have boundaries.

Totally different insights. And don't get me started on My Fair Lady....

Has anyone else found their perspectives have shifted radically with different stages in their lives?

No, feminism is brilliant. A series of unfortunate events screwed my life and kicked the stuffing out of me. When I needed to escape from marriage, I went back to my radical roots to give me strength. Now I am entering the Crone stage, I rely more than ever on feminist analysis to make sense of what is happening in the world. I am content.

Not a film but sex and the city is very dated now. With the exception of Samantha they are all just a bit desperate.

I know what you mean. But it disturbed the cultural discourse when it came out. It was 4 female leads (really unusual) and they had a lot of sex and spoke about it. Still remember the Guardian TV reviewer dripping with disdain for it.

I loved Educating Rita too, it really spoke to me as a working class teenager who wanted to go to university, the first in my family. It was so important that she didn't end up with Frank even though he was infatuated with her - or even that she was shown to follow some predictable route into a middle class career and life. She says at the end that maybe she'll go on to study further. Maybe she'll go travelling, or get a job. Or maybe she'll even have a baby. "I'll choose" she says. And that's the crux of it. Willy Russell wrote women well - when you look at Shirley Valentine, it would have been predictable for her to end up with the Tom Conti character, but she doesn't.

Agree about some of the movies mentioned. I ALWAYS loathed Pretty Woman, but when I rewatched The Breakfast Club recently I was horrified at how Bender sexually harasses and bullies Claire, whose only crime is being a bit of a princess. And she goes out with him! You just know that won't end well. Yet that didn't register with me at the time, I was too annoyed at Ally Sheedy being de-gothed.

I also tried to watch The Man With Two Brains and had to switch off - Steve Martin is operating on Kathleen Turner and two colleagues have shaved her pubic hair into a heart shape for fun while she's under anaesthetic. Cue lots of joking and lecherous staring at her crotch. Just horrifying.