Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Catcalling pregnant women?!

43 replies

HairsprayBabe · 19/05/2020 11:07

Hi I don't really post in on this board but I thought I would get the most support here.

I am nearly 32 weeks pregnant and obviously so. I haven't been out on my own much since before I started showing with CV19 and all but I needed a prescription and my chemist is only a quick walk away from the house so I went for a walk down on my own this morning.

On the way there two men were working in a front drive and shouted something along the lines of "I bet your husband enjoyed doing that to you". I was a bit taken back because even though I have experienced cat calling pre-pregnancy I didn't expect it. I ignored and went down a different street home. Where a different man working on a car on the side of the road again shouted over this time saying he wished he had put that baby in me.

I again ignored but I just got in and had a bit of a cry, I felt really vulnerable and I am worried about going out again on my own if I need to.

Is catcalling pregnant women a thing? I think I am just shocked because I didn't expect it and I didn't really know how to handle it other than ignore and waddle walk a bit faster.

OP posts:
LouHotel · 19/05/2020 11:21

Jesus that was unlucky twice in one day. Pregnancy is proof that your sexually active giving some men the belief they have a right to demean you for it. Equally your less likely to confront them as your pregnant so they have a extra protection from you calling them out on it.

I had it from a drunk on a train once and like you I went home and cried. And that's ok we have out of control hormones and it's not fair when what should be nothing but positive is misconstrued by males.

It might not be very feminist but this is one of the times I'd let your partner or mother go round and confront them.

ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings · 19/05/2020 11:27

I had a creepy guy come up to me when I was about 30 weeks and say "sooo... Are you still with the father then?" Some men are fucking revolting.

CovidicusRex · 19/05/2020 11:31

Just wait until you’re catcalled while pushing a double buggy. Men often target vulnerable looking women when catcalling such as school girls, women who are alone, pregnant women and women with young children with them. I don’t know why they do it. Maybe they get off on knowing they’ve frightened someone. Maybe they do it because they’re less likely to get told off so can convince themselves that the women liked it. I don’t know why it happens but it’s gross.

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 19/05/2020 11:32

Never heard of this before - absolutely disgusting! Angry

Majorcollywobble · 19/05/2020 11:35

These so called men are truly vile .
And it’s the worst type of harassment - you deserve respect not these disgusting innuendos. I’ve honestly never heard anything worse about catcalling . If it continues I’d report it to the police - honestly .

LouHotel · 19/05/2020 11:35

Guarantee this thread will fill up fast with examples as I think this is an area of cat calling not discussed.

Original poster
HairsprayBabe · 19/05/2020 11:38

I thought it would be something like that fertility = sexy grossness.

I have previously always found catcalling easy to ignore. This just really creeped me out with the specifics of what they said.

DH is WFH and made me a cuppa and brought me a chocolate hobnob to cheer me up, said I don't have to go out on my own again of I don't want to which was sweet but I hate the thought of needing a bloody chaperone!

Feeling v. sorry for myself I hate hormones!

OP posts:
ItsMsActually · 19/05/2020 11:38

I don't think I could have not said anything!!! That's vile!

Oncewasblueandyellowtwo · 19/05/2020 13:15

So sorry this happened to you, it is horrible.
I'd agree with a PP

Men often target vulnerable looking women when catcalling such as school girls, women who are alone, pregnant women and women with young children with them.

It's scummy & disgusting.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 19/05/2020 13:19

That’s awful! I’m sorry that happened to you OP. I didn’t have any during my first pregnancy and I hope I don’t this time either. Like you, I’d probably just want to run and cry.

Pertella · 19/05/2020 13:23

Guarantee this thread will fill up fast with examples

You can also guarantee that someone will come along to minimise it, or claim that it wouldnt bother them in the slightest...

Pertella · 19/05/2020 13:27

A shit thing about pregnancy is that some people think it makes you public property for personal comments, from the relatively mild "ooh, you're so big you're not supposedto literally eat for 2 rofl, lol" to the obscene and all stops in between Sad

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 19/05/2020 13:28

You can also guarantee that someone will come along to minimise it, or claim that it wouldnt bother them in the slightest...

‘Were you wearing something too clingy? You must have had a lot of boob on show or something!’

‘It made me feel sexy to still have men shouting at me even when I was pregnant.’

‘My hubby used to shout back that they could share me! Hahahaha!!!’

nevermorelenore · 19/05/2020 13:29

It's disgusting. I used to commute on the tube while pregnant and used to get guys leering. When I was pushing DS in a pushchair some blokes in a van slowed down alongside me and yelled MILF and some other gross stuff. It upset my DS as he had no idea why strange men were shouting at us. Obviously, at both points men knew I was vulnerable. If a bloke was leering at me normally I might tell him to fuck off, but when you are pregnant, it's scary to think what they may do.

I remember a few years back a woman found her bump pictures had been stolen from her social media and shared on a disgusting group. I honestly despair.

Mucklowe · 19/05/2020 13:29

I was walking to my 25 week midwife appointment this morning - the first time I've been out of the house visibly pregnant. I actively avoided all workmen and lone men I passed, as subconsciously I feared they would catcall or say something. So bloody depressing.

Wolfgirrl · 19/05/2020 13:31

I had this when I was heavily pregnant!! Some blokes in a car beeped the horn as they went past and shouted something grim. To be fair they probably didnt see my bump until they drove past, I like to think that wouldve made them feel like creeps but looking at this thread 😕maybe not.

Bluebell246 · 19/05/2020 13:34

What a horrible thing to happen OP. Some men are vile. No wonder you cried. Blaming your emotional reaction on hormones seems unfair to me. This was sexually motivated abuse designed to make you feel frightened and vulnerable. Your reaction is totally understandable.

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 19/05/2020 13:36

I would ask them if they wee seriously saying that they found me sexually attractive because I had a tiny baby in me. I’d then point out how creepy that is and was one step removed from being attracted to children. Horrible and offensive I know, but they’re fucking vile and deserve a vile response.

Tableclothing · 19/05/2020 13:37

I didn't get catcalled when pregnant but I did have a number of incidents with unpleasant men, mostly things like literally pushing me out of the way to get the last shopping trolley, when I was 39 weeks. While I've experienced rudeness and aggression from unknown men throughout my life it definitely ramped up during pregnancy and I think that they knew there was no way I would/ could risk a confrontation potentially turning physical, which was why they did it. I really hated them for it.

Tableclothing · 19/05/2020 13:41

13:36T0tallyFuckedUpFamily

Would you really? When I was pg I knew I could neither run away nor take the risk of being attacked so I didn't dare confront any of them.

FerneGreene · 19/05/2020 13:58

Jesus OP that's awful, I'm sorry that happened to you.

I've not experienced this thankfully, but am starting to feel self conscious and vulnerable when I go out (29 weeks) and hate it when even non leery people stare, so I don't blame you at all for being upset.

FerneGreene · 19/05/2020 14:00

And I agree with @Tableclothing - while I'm normally the type to tell people to fuck off (often probably too quickly Blush), I just wouldn't feel confident to do that now Sad

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 19/05/2020 14:03

Creeps never stop creeping, and are particularly fond of targeting women who look vulnerable. I wish there was something I could say to make it better but there isn't.

MeadowHay · 19/05/2020 14:07

So sorry that happened to you OP.

I was once verbally sexually harassed by a group of men, whilst leaving my own house with my newborn DD, struggling to get all the different bits down my steep steps that lead out of my house (bassinet with DD in, pram base, changing bag etc). We had only moved in a few weeks earlier and it really shook me up, I felt so scared. We've been here nearly 2 years now and it hasn't happened again, I don't think the men were local. I don't know how people can be so vile.

stillathing · 19/05/2020 14:16

That sounds horrific OP. Especially so close to your home. You must feel somewhat violated.

I had one very memorable cat call with my first pregnancy when I was much younger. But my second pregnancy, a couple of years ago, my gosh I had so much grief. Harassment, attempted pick ups, cat calls the lot. I was so surprised because in general this stuff was so much worse when I was younger and when I had blonde hair. All I could think was that I looked especially vulnerable; my baby was in a weird position that meant I had to walk slowly and my breasts were enormous. I felt quite scared on a couple of occasions, knowing I couldn't move away quickly.