Honor Blackman dies- news reader refers to her “two adopted children”

[LittleRa]

Not sure if this is the correct section but Bond actress Honor Blackman has died of natural causes aged 94. I happened to be reading the family’s statement online at the same time as the BBC news reader was reading it and I noticed the statement said she “will be greatly missed by her two children Barnaby and Lottie” whereas the news reader said she “will be greatly missed by her two adopted children Barnaby and Lottie”. Why?! A glance at her Wikipedia entry shows she adopted them in 1967 and 1968.

I was adopted (kind of - it’s complicated), my 3 siblings weren’t. When my mum died the funeral/ death announcement/ plaque at the crem etc all talked about her 4 children, not ‘3 children and one adopted one’ or whatever. She’d have been horrified by anything else, as would my siblings and I.

Unnecessary from the bbc.

A “hellish process” to adopt in the 60’s? You’re kidding, right?

I’m an adoptive parent and I would be so annoyed if someone referred to my children as my ‘adopted children’. They’re just my children.

As Chloe said upthread, it sounds like a caveat and someone implies second best. It’s obviously relevant in, for example, medical contexts, or if I need to discuss any issues arising from the adoption - it’s not about denying the fact of the adoption - but it’s just not relevant in more general descriptions of our family.

A “hellish process” to adopt in the 60’s? You’re kidding, right?

I used to know someone who came home from hospital with two babies in the late 60s, having decided not to go through childbirth ever again, and went on to adopt a couple more.

Sorry - off topic.

I can't see that is it relevant at all to insert the fact that her children were adopted in that statement.

The BBC seemed to be reading from a statement from her family so maybe they said that.

I don't really get how it's offensive. I'm sure she was honest with them about the adoption. I think we need to fight this culture of bring offended by undisputed facts tbh. It's a slippery slope.

My friend has an adopted child not once since they have adopted them have they been refered to as their 'adopted child' and their other kids being different.

Why is it ok to make the distinction and infer that the now adult kids are somehow different than any other child whos mother died?
They were her children, for most of their lives, why is that not clear?

I’m really sad at this news. She was so stylish classy and elegant.
The fact her children are adopted is an unnecessary detail.

Aw, I really liked her.
As an adopted person this is really awful to hear.
I'm sure they'd have been adopted from babies and known no other parents.
She was their mum, plain and simple

Very sad to hear she'd died, but I hadn't realised she was 94!

Maybe they said it because it was accurate? It doesn't have a positive or negative connotation unless one is assigned to it by the person who hears it.

I'm an adoptive parent and I also agree this is common and insensitive.

@Eckhart it's a qualifier. Like saying "her two Black children". If there's no point in saying it, don't say it.

Wow 94. She didn't look her age at all last time i saw her in something

I don't agree. It's qualifying the fact she was a mother suggesting there are important facts you need to know about her family.
An elderly relative was telling me about an elderly relative of hers who was incapacitated and how her eldest daughter was doing all the caring, and she was only adopted, her (younger) 'real' children weren't helping. Even at the time I thought it sounded like many families where one child takes on most of the burden of caring for an elderly parent. The fact she was the 'adopted one' wasn't really relevant.

It's reasonable information to give e.g. in the context of passing on medical history of the family. It's utterly irrelevant information to give in the context of announcing her death. It did not need to be said and it should not have been said.

It's not about denying the fact of their adoption. It's about making offensive distinctions between different kinds of families in the context of their loss.

The BBC seemed to be reading from a statement from her family so maybe they said that.

No, the whole point is that the family statement did NOT say that.

Doctors need to know my DCs are adopted, as do some teachers, psychologists etc.
For everyone else it's my DCs choice whether they choose to share or not.

As an adoptive parent I find it offensive. It’s totally unnecessary.

Descriptions of people who have died often include some small facts about them. It doesn't need to be there, it's also not offensive unless your assumption is there is something lesser about being adopted.I generally don't like the language of "an adopted mum is just a mum like one who gives birth, and a mum is the same to the kids adopted or not." It's not an identical situation. For all we know the children might have contact with their birth mother as well, or consider he as important in their lives.

I don’t think it’s offensive, either. It’s a simple statement of fact. Just as it would be if the media reported the fact that someone had two step children, or two cats.

Some people are far too quick to take vicarious offence on behalf of others they have never met.

The family statement on the sky news app does say it. I agree though that it’s unnecessary to say. But apparently the family did say it.

Factually they are her children and the addition of the prefix ‘adopted’ may be very relevant when talking about her journey to parenthood but is incredibly crass in this context. The meaning that many still ascribe to adopted is not real, adoptees will be very aware of this.

A “hellish process” to adopt in the 60’s? You’re kidding, right?

Hell in the 60s was for many single mother who wanted to keep her child. Adoption was the decent and expected outcome. Someone like Honor Blackman would have had her pick of babies- no disrespect to her but it would not have been difficult.

Here