Women refused permission to WFH while kids are off school

[Teabaseddiet]

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/27/mothers-say-they-being-kept-at-work-uk-as-fathers-stay-home

More men than women are allowed to work from home at the moment, supposedly as men wouldn't be expected to pick up childcare.

I am not surprised by the findings because people know that in our society women still do the lions share of work where child raising is concerned.

I think there are also many other families where both parents are WFH but the woman is doing all the home learning, child wrangling as well as her job whilst the man just works.
I am starting work at 7:30, finishing at 6:30, because in between I am feeding, assisting, directing the children in their learning too (and my two are good, well behaved children that like learning, so I'm not breaking up bickering or cajoling all day as some people must need to do!)
I'm working in the evenings too, and at weekends, to try and get through all I need to do (I'm in a 37.5 hour a week job).

My husband is just working- 9:30-6 mon-fri, and then a bit in the evening- which is his normal working pattern. His work has not been disrupted a bit, whereas mine is suffering because of the interruptions and the lack of longer periods for concentration.

How soon until solicitors reopen?

Read a post on here where a family have split the day. One does 5.30-12.30 and other 12.30-7.30 their respective workplaces have approved it. Time to recommend it to your husband. Mine are teens so I’m managing but it would have been hideous when they were all primary school age.

margoletta why aren't you sorting out the unfair domestic burden with your husband?

No one else can resolve that for you.

I had to provide proof of childcare before my employer would give me permission to work from home. If I didn’t have childcare I would have been put on furlough. My work is mentally taxing, it’s really easy to make a major cock up, so I would struggle if my boyfriend wasn’t keeping my son entertained.

Luckily I can do a portion of my work in the evening when my son is in bed.

I think there are also many other families where both parents are WFH but the woman is doing all the home learning, child wrangling as well as her job whilst the man just works.

This. Currently my colleague is working only when her child naps, but her husband presumably works his normal hours. 🙄

Where people in my team have young children and a home working partner I expect them to work out a childcare schedule with the other parent & to keep revisiting & reviewing it. Male or female.

Dropping an hour or so here and there is fine.

@SimonJT we're your male colleagues that are parents asked to do the same?

@DidoLamenting Long story, hasn't worked, hence divorce sought. At least the children and I are safe, many others in similar situations are openly abused verbally and/or physically. We're safe until I can leave.

I am a male colleague.

I find this sickening. I am in Germany and everyone who can is encouraged to work from home. There is a clear understanding that there is no childcare. You aren’t allowed to visit the grandparents nor to dump kids on them. To differentiate between men and women, or to require information about childcare would be clear discrimination and wouldn’t be tolerated by law. but we have rather good employment laws here and you can’t just sack people (except if the business collapses but there are still wage payment obligations even then) That said, parents are super stressed here too when both are wfh, but without the constant threat of being sacked it is slightly less extreme than the UK.
Can someone explain furloughed to me?

But the problem is that you need to tell your manager how you are doing the childcare with your partner. It is very difficult with younger children and getting furloughed might be the best solution for some.

@stella1know It's basically being stood down from work but without your contract being ended. You can't do other paid work.

I'm desperate to work from home as I have no other childcare options but for me to look after my daughter. They won't let me though so I am having to take all my annual leave then go onto unpaid leave so I will really struggle to pay rent and bills.

There are so many assumptions - first is that both partners are able to WFH, then yes of course, there should be parity with the children.

But most households I know, there is a partner who works shifts, and relies on one partner who is able to WFH, so think some companies are starting to get a bit nervous that this will go on for more than 3 weeks so are trying set some boundaries which clearly aren't going to work, such as withdrawing people working from home or implementing a diary of all work activities.

@SimonJT how are your DC being looked after?

@stella1know furlough is like kurzarbeit.

Of course more men are WFH than women because of basic demographics.

1. More men are in work than women as a % of working age men/women
2. More fathers are in work than mothers as a % of fathers/mothers

So even if everything is done fairly, you cannot avoid having more men WFH than women because more men are in work than women to begin with.

@DroppedBoxxedRuth My boyfriend is looking after (being terrorised) by him when I’m working. I did 2 hour shifts last week with at least thirty minutes between each one to give my boyfriend a break, that worked fairly well.

I'm currently trying to wfh with a toddler. It's not working. Dh was told he would be furloughed and signed docs to say he agreed. We thought all our problems were solved until his work decided to unfurligh him and keep him as skeleton staff. He's asked for some flexibility for childcare but they've refused. So now I'm stuck having told my employer I'd have childcare when I now don't and am terrified of loosing my job because I can't do it all. And it's just accepted that I will sort it and dh's employer can just say no. If my employer just say no too we are fucked. But there's no consideration for that. I litterally don't know what we are going to do. Like pp said, employers are panicking because this is now a longer term thing so they're asking for every second to be accounted for.

@SimonJT apologies for my assumptions!

Most solicitors are open but working remotely. There is a limit on what they can do as the civil courts and the Land Registers are closed.

Other work for the likes of corporate/building projects/ renewable energy projects is continuing.

This really annoys me for loads of reasons:

• it presumes that women will cover the childcare
• men are expected to work uninterrupted
• the basic lack of empathy/understanding that THERE IS NO CHILDCARE UNLESS YOU ARE A KEY WORKER

I think that it can also be convenient for employers to tell people to WFH without accepting that the quality/quantity of work is going to drop off because you're in a full house & likely to get distracted.

In many cases it will be better to be furloughed (maybe not financially) as at least you're not running yourself ragged trying to do everything.

Both me and Dh are working from home full time bit have very understanding employers. We are both sharing childcare and home learning but we were pretty equal before all of this happened. I think those who had unequal relationships will see that amplified in the current situation.

My neighbour is taking it to the next level of selfishness... He's a builder so isn't working but every morning he packs his bike in his car and disappears for hours then when he returns he straps on a rucksack and goes running. All this while his wife is at home with two school aged children.

@SimonJT - yes, you are a male colleague, but I think the question still applies - did other male colleagues in heterosexual relationships have to provide proof of childcare, or was it assumed because there was a woman at home the question was answered?

@margoletta It’s okay, nothing wrong with being mistaken with a woman

@Longtalljosie Everyone was asked via an online survey, I have no idea what sexuality has to do it it