@SimonJT - oh Christ, I was worried afterwards you'd take it that way. I'm glad it was done in an online survey though. What I meant was in straight couples it's much much more common for employers to assume women are going to do the juggling. There was a tweet the other day from a woman teacher, married to a teacher, with a sick son. She had done the first three days and when he rang to say he'd be off that day, his school asked how many days his wife had done - the assumption being she should be putting herself out first.