Bbc article about filmed rape on pornhub

[ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings]

www.bbc.co.uk/news/stories-51391981

Trigger warning - graphic descriptions of sexual violence.

This article has really disturbed me. Her description of her state after the attack, bloodied and beaten, and the police asking her "was it consensual? Was it a wild night gone too far?" And after it was discovered that the footage was on pornhub, how her classmates not only watched it but bullied her over it, with parents telling their sons to stay away from her in case she "seduced them and accused them of rape". This is footage of an unconscious 14 year old beaten to within an inch of her life being violently raped, and people still blamed her and accused her of lying. And how it took so long for pornhub to take the footage down, only when she pretended to be a lawyer. What chance does the victim of revenge porn, or the rape which didn't leave her almost dead, or where their was initially consent have, when even such an extreme and clear example of rape is treated this way?

The thing that shocked me most though is that pornhub still has videos up titled "unconscious teen gets abused" with the justification that it's a "popular fantasy" and "all forms of sexual expression should be allowed". It's so revolting to me that any man could be aroused by that. Without doubt a lot of men who watch porn are watching rape and they just don't give a shit.

I don't know how we come back from this. I was reading an autobiography the other day where the author was describing visiting a porn shop in the 80s, and how the feminist bookshop opposite would put cameras in their window to catch and shame men who went in their. It made me realise that if we weren't able to get a handle on porn back then, when it was actual shops not the Internet, when feminism was united on the issue, when the images of extreme abuse weren't mainstream, how can we ever hope to now? How can we even begin to put the genie back in the bottle? And if we can't - if porn, even extreme violent porn, can't be stopped - then where do we go from here?

I think a substantial proportion of men simply think that being female is degrading by its very nature becuase we are the ones that are penetrated.

That goes back to Ancient Rome, if not before.

We have to ditch them when we discover them using porn.

That's a good start. It doesn't help the women whose rapes are already wank fodder online. It doesn't prevent men from raping women now, filming it, and uploading the footage.

I'm now afraid to date or even be alone with a man or group of men because of what they could do to me. In a male-dominated job, this is not fun. I'm scared to have the plumber or sparky round for the same reason. This isn't a phobia though: a phobia isn't justified by reality whereas my fear of men is.

Totally agree. It's unbelievably depressing. Men just want to see naked women. They are gorging on the unbelievably plentiful trough of internet porn, they're totally unable to control their use of it anymore, they're making themselves sick with it, and they're vomiting on us. I've said similar before, I know, but that's how I feel about it.

I think this is part of what the sex positivity movement really failed to grasp. And it's weird, because most other societies and cultures have recognised that the sex drive can get really out of control and be very destructive. That's why it's always been the subject of so many boundaries and taboos.

Essentially, all of a sudden there was the possibility of pretty reliable ability to control having babies, along with this sense of all boundaries of the past being oppressive and unhealthy. It's why the 60s and 70s produced some things that people look at now and think were clearly crazy, like young teenage girls dating much older men - many fairly normal but liberal people thought, well, if you are old enough to be interested in sex, than nature is saying you are ready for sex. And it would be the prudishness of the past to stop you!
That looks incredibly naive now, but we are still naive about sex more generally. Where do we really teach young people about how to manage their sexual urges, or how do we help them learn to redirect them? Most cultures have some way to deal with this problem, even if it's not a great solution. But all we really offer now is porn, and we make out like its a sort of healthy release.
With the average age of kids first seeing porn is 11, these kids are growing up without ever learning how to manage their feelings. Any form of addiction that starts in the teen years tends to affect brain development and personality development of the individual in a profound way, and it's not clear that it is possible to reverse those changes.
There is a whole cultural sort of knowledge, or set of bounddaries and knowledge, that we no longer have as tools. We tend not to teach any kind of self-disapline about the sexual body, and not much about the body at all - we talk about diets and clean eating etc but I would not say those create a healthy relationship with food. In terms of sex, we don't value it either - we don't hold up people who live clearly well controlled, thoughtful sex lives, or who put their energies into other things and remain celibate, as people to admire. Not only is there not really shame about porn use, if anything people are embarrassed not to be sexually active.
I think change in this area will have to offer some new ways of thinking about this for young people. The boomer generation decided the old ways were no good and threw them out, but clearly what they replaced them with is inadequate.

The problem with the approach of passing endless pieces of legislation to make various harmful acts against women illegal, is that we get caught in a never ending game of whack-a-mole which never solves the core problem. We end up having to agitate for legal changes against things that shouldn't need to be legally enforced. And every conceivable loophole needs to be endlessly policed. We end up in the insane situation of having to pass "up skirting" laws, or campaign against "rough sex gone wrong" being used to excuse murder. But that's bonkers! That we have to say "here's a law that you can't secretly take photos or videos up women's skirts". It's so specific. The fact that we need to be that specific is part of the problem. In a few years there'll be a new bit of tech out and then we'll have to campaign to outlaw every conceivable specific way that it can to used to harm and harass us. We're always reacting, never ripping the problem out at its roots. I mean, how utterly insane to have to be talking about ways to make it (enforcably) illegal for men to rape children, film it, upload it to the Internet, and for other men to wank over it.

I've been thinking so much recently. Every law we pass, men find a way to break it or even use it against us. Every space we make for ourself they invade. Every bit of equality we gain they take. We're always on the defensive, always reacting, always running. It's almost like it's become a game. Everything is on their terms (for example, the ability to ban contraception or abortion). The whole idea of our rights being removable, is based on the premise that our rights don't belong to us. That our rights exist in the hands of men, to bestow on us if we behave and remove from us if we don't. But I don't think we can outrun it. We'll never be able to pass enough pieces of legislation, never be able to find enough places to hide. So what would it look like to change that conversation? To be on the offensive?

@Antibles “We have to ditch them when we discover them using porn.“

100% this! Once the negative effects from porn use accrue to the users of it things will change. If porn is a one way ticket to a lifetime of loneliness, dying alone, a wrecked family life and erectile dysfunction things will change.

We're always reacting, never ripping the problem out at its roots.

The root of the problem is that men are bigger and stronger than us and can force us to be pregnant against our will, and as long as they exist as more than a few percent of humans they will use the structural fear that women have of rape to oppress us all. The only way to resolve this is morally unacceptable to most people: the sex-selective abortion of boys, which women, understandably, won't do, so we're stuck.

We know from experience that, contrary to Robert Heinlein's idea that a scarcity of women would make men value us, a scarcity of women increases male sexual violance against women. First Nations women tell us this and we know that in places like India where sex-selective abortion of female foeti and female infanticide are rife and men outnumber women, men cooperate to gang rape women and girls. Thought experiment aka thinking the unthinkable: imagine if women did abort their sons en masse, such that within a generation only 5% of people were male? What would the effect be on sexual violence?

• If men made up 5% of people instead of 50%, they'd not be able to gang up on women to rape us.
• If you were on the train and 95% of passengers were women, you'd worry a lot less about some arsehole wanking down your leg.
• You could go running at night, knowing that 95% of passersby would be female and gang rape wasn't a risk.
• Most tradespeople would be female out of necessity, so getting a female plumber etc would be easy.
• The porn industry either wouldn't exist or would be radically different, with the abuse of women no longer featuring.
• Prostitution would end through lack of demand.
• Rape would no longer be a tool of warfare as most armed forces personnel would be female.
• If your car broke down, you'd not fear rape.
• You could go for a drink without men chatting you up and groping you.

Sounds blissful, bd67th. Yes please.

We don’t need to protect our daughters. We need to educate our sons

We should do both and remember that educated people still bully and harass others.