Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Evidence today my OH HAS NOT BEEN LISTENING

32 replies

WomanBornNotWorn · 02/02/2020 12:05

Yesterday he said 'Cis? What does that mean?'

This is after over 18 months of me trying to get through to him about this whole bulldozing of women, children's & LGB people's rights (AND his best friend mentioning his own concerns as a teacher & dad).

HELLO? FFS.

Anyone else's OH living in a parallel universe to you?

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 02/02/2020 12:09

I'm quite proud of mine at the moment. Something came up on radio news and he shouted "women are not fucking chattels"

2 pts to him: 1 for the sentiment and another for the excellent use of the word chattels...

Original poster
WomanBornNotWorn · 02/02/2020 12:16

CuriousaboutSamphire excellent work all round!

OP posts:
SarahTancredi · 02/02/2020 12:19

Mines too " well women do it too" and " well its gonna happen ( self ID etc) so no point in worrying about it"

He has 2 dds ffs Angry

SophocIestheFox · 02/02/2020 12:56

Mine never fecking shuts up about it. He send me articles, I don’t know how many people have defriended him on Facebook over his posting about self ID, single sex accommodations, womens sports, medicating children, he had a political door knocker tied up in knots over self ID...

Never loved him more Grin

Hope the message is finally getting through to your womanborn

theflushedzebra · 02/02/2020 12:59

Mine is totally with us women. Totally get's it. Grin

Goosefoot · 02/02/2020 13:05

I have to say that i can see myself doing something similar about some things my OH talks about. It's not that I don't listen, because I do, there is just a limit to how much certain topics stick. Like, I do not remember the details of shotgun shell loads or how well they work, even if he tells me about it in some detail.

ritzbiscuits · 02/02/2020 13:12

My DH is totally with us after drip feeding him a number of articles/events.

Jo Swindon's pre election interviews on Radio 4 were priceless. I'd suggest locking him in a room to listen to those until he gets it! Grin

Original poster
WomanBornNotWorn · 02/02/2020 13:13

SophoclestheFox wow!! 💞

OP posts:
BlackberryViolet · 02/02/2020 13:17

Mine has just sent me a link to an article in the Observer. Despite having a child with ROGD he seemed to be completely unaware of anything. But then he only ever reads the Guardian. If it’s not in there it’s not happening. And if was important it “would be in there wouldn’t it” is his logic. Parallel universe here courtesy of the bloody Guardian.

OldCrone · 02/02/2020 13:31

When I first mentioned this to mine, he accused me of being homophobic, but listened to me as I explained what was going on.

He now totally gets it, but thinks I'm a bit too obsessed. He's taking a bit more notice now with the court cases about freedom of speech.

SophocIestheFox · 02/02/2020 13:41

it’s quite enjoyable watching people’s reactions to my gender radical husband, the son of blue-collar immigrants and product of the grammar school. The same people who were horrified that I’d married a Tory now don’t know what to do with themselves as he’s joined the Labour Party, started working for a charity helping immigrants, and is vocally and vehemently supportive of women’s rights.

They don’t know where to put him, and it’s great, because he illustrates why the old categories just don’t work any more. And he illustrates how many people only want to associate with people who think just as they do, and who spin out if someone they agree with on one thing turns out to have the “wrong” opinion on something else they hold dear.

Anyway, enough about mine. Is your husband at least respectful of your right to hold your views, womanborn? I don’t mind disagreeing with someone, but I have to feel like they respect me, and that they think my position has some merit.

TimeLady · 02/02/2020 13:45

But then he only ever reads the Guardian. If it’s not in there it’s not happening. And if was important it “would be in there wouldn’t it” is his logic. Parallel universe here courtesy of the bloody Guardian.

Replace Guardian with BBC and that's my DH.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 02/02/2020 13:50

Mine (when I was mid rant) asked a very disingenuous question. I was about to go to the next level of ranty when I looked at him and saw him smirking. Bastard, but proves he’s been listening.

theflushedzebra · 02/02/2020 14:28

when I looked at him and saw him smirking

I've noticed quite a few men being smirky about this tbh - mainly online though, I don't speak to many men about this irl. There's a definite a feeling of "you feminists have got what you deserve now, see how you like it" amongst some.

I think there are a fair few men around who are quietly of the opinion that "feminism has gone too far" and are secretly very gloaty about women's rights being curtailed again.

MsTSwift · 02/02/2020 14:36

Mine thought I was making the whole self id thing up because it was so obviously daft he was too polite to say this but that was the vibe. He was shocked when he read about it in the economist and my ranting confirmed. He is a rare man who genuinely sees women as people and has proper female friends. Of our couple friends he prefers most of the women to the men.

ScrimshawTheSecond · 02/02/2020 15:04

Applause, curious.

Yes, MsTSwift, mine was the same. I don't think OfScrimshaw believed it was true at first, thought I was making it all up, but then heard a couple of things in the news and finally listened. 100% with us now.

BlindYeoSees · 02/02/2020 15:12

Just be sure it's not passive aggressiveness. Being deliberately obtuse is a great way of winding someone up.

fpurplea · 02/02/2020 15:42

He now totally gets it, but thinks I'm a bit too obsessed. He's taking a bit more notice now with the court cases about freedom of speech.

Totally my DH. He's very honest about not really thinking too much about it, but then as a very masculine, gobby male, "it doesn't really directly affect [him] like it does women." He knew a lot about it before I did because he basically just reads everything that enters his field of vision, I'm relatively new to all of this. We have form for me getting very invested in something and him agreeing but kind of eye rolling at how passionate I get about it. But it's always the free speech angle that gets him riled.

OhHolyJesus · 02/02/2020 16:09

God this thread is reassuring. I can't begin to explain the conversations and arguments I have with my DH on Self ID/LGBT in Schools, it mirrors much here. Glad I'm not alone, he makes me think I'm the mad one sometimes but it's FWR that keeps me sane!

andyoldlabour · 02/02/2020 16:23

I have the opposite problem, my DW doesn't really get it and thinks that I have become obsessed by the subject.
I did show her a couple of images of Pippa/Philip Bunce last week - in contrasting roles, and she thought that was totally ridiculous, so there may be hope.

OhHolyJesus · 02/02/2020 16:59

Andy you should meet my DH and I could have a chat with your DW!

GrinitchSpinach · 02/02/2020 17:49

Something came up on radio news and he shouted "women are not fucking chattels"

Curious, I would consider that foreplay. ;)

InfiniteSheldon · 02/02/2020 17:53

Mine gets it totally

InfiniteSheldon · 02/02/2020 17:55

But he's 'old, pa le, male and stale ' so not actually allowed an opinion in most Left wing circles

Disfordarkchocolate · 02/02/2020 17:57

Mine's a keen cyclist so he's recently been baffled by what is going on.

Then how I explained how I was no longer a woman but cis woman and that only men who transition can now be a woman. His mind was blown!