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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

When someone shows you who they are

71 replies

Oncewasblueandyellowtwo · 31/12/2019 23:00

Belive them. That's the saying right?
I was going to name change for this but I'm not going to be ashamed.
My partner or nearly 5 years has watched porn all though us being together. In particular anal porn. We tried it twice I hated it and told him so.
We have 2 small children so sex isn't always happening, tonight for the first time in 3 months i persuaded myself to try and then he tried anal,twice during. I walked away and told him I needed a break.I went back and asked him why he did that twice and he said the first time was an accident and he only tried once.
Jesus just earlier I was commenting on a thread about a woman not knowing if she was being abused.I've commented on fionas thread about we can't consent,(not related to this relationship)
But this is my partner, my family.
Why do I do. Brush it off as something that happens in the moment? Is there a line between wanting to try something in the heat of the moment between partners and abuse?

OP posts:
Oncewasblueandyellowtwo · 01/01/2020 09:55

Field I do trust him but I think he doesn't realise the seriousness or the impact on me or the impact that porn has on him. He doesn't get it and that is a big problem.

OP posts:
Mischance · 01/01/2020 10:06

I am going to ask you a serious question here: how can you even begin to think that it is OK that your long term partner watches porn (and specifically anal porn) as a normal part of his life? What is it in your upbringing that tells you this is just fine? What made you feel that this was something to be ignored and accepted?

It really is not fine at all. Aside from all the debates about the acceptability of porn at all, it is clear that this has distorted his thinking and that he has completely lost sight of what normal loving physical relationships are about. And it is clear from your description of your lives together that he has compartmentalised sexual activity and it is not one part of a loving relationship, but simply a means of satisfying HIMSELF in ways that he has seen onscreen.

I really do think you have a serious problem here, and his denial of this when you try to discuss it it very worrying. I am very reluctant to go down the LTB advice route as this can often seem an "easy" answer and rather flippant; but I really do believe that this is not someone who has the capacity any longer to understand about loving sexual relationships - his mind has been hardened by so much watching of - he has dissociated sex from the rest of your relationship in a very unhealthy way. I do think that if he is not willing to discuss this and to give up the porn that has so damaged him, then you should be leaving.

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this.

TimeLady · 01/01/2020 10:22

We're blaming porn for this (rightly) but I'm wondering why anal porn is so arousing for a supposedly straight man?

If it's because he finds the idea of hurting his partner arousing then I'd say LTB.

However, in the way that autogynephilia is defined as a "sexuality that consists of someone being aroused by the idea of themselves being the opposite sex", are there grounds for the hypothesis that this is perhaps a fetish that consists of someone being aroused by the idea of themselves being the opposite sexual orientation?

Or am I overthinking?

DuMondeB · 01/01/2020 10:29

I left a man over porn use. A good man in many ways. Porn poisoned him - he realises now, he goes to counselling weekly (and has a daughter). He wouldn’t have realised if I hadn’t left him.

It’s not easy being a lone parent, but it’s better than being scared that the man you live with is going to attempt to penetrate you against your will. Because other posters are right, that’s attempted rape.

I eventually found a good man without a time machine - their must be others out there 😉

LangCleg · 01/01/2020 10:51

Your partner has a porn addiction that has led to him attempting to rape you.

I am so sorry, OP. Also sorry to write a short, blunt sentence like that because I'm sure it's painful to read. But sometimes, it just needs to be laid out plainly.

I wish you all the best. But I'm not sure there's much room for rehabilitation here.

Cwenthryth · 01/01/2020 10:54

Offer to buy a strap on and see what he says. He’s got the g spot up there, not you.

I’m not sure if I’m joking. I do find it hypocritical how many men think a woman’s ass is fine but not their own.

Personal TMI anecdote coming up, my DP had a passing interest in anal early on, and I’d done it (and kinda enjoyed it) with a previous partner so was willing to give it another go - but said he should try anal stuff too. He quite liked the odd finger, and we worked up to toys. After a full penetration session with a toy he quickly lost interest in it and hasn’t asked about it since, knowing I wasn’t fussed on it either. Think the reality put it into perspective for him. It’s putting things in your arse at the end of the day. Really not that sexy when you think about it.

OP I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I think a full and frank conversation needs to be had, probably away from the children if that’s possible. Is it genuinely he just wants to stick his dick in your rectum because porn (in which case - what is he, 15?) or rather is it he is interested in trying new things and being spectacularly shit (pun intended) in approaching it, in which case, he needs to understand that if you can’t have an adult conversation about beads and lubrication and anulingus and douching and consider your partner’s experience in all this before your own, then you have no business doing any of it.

If he’s defensive and lying..... up to you whether you just bin him or start conversation like above, giving him the opportunity to redeem himself....which he probably won’t and then you’ll feel more secure in ending it. My partner crossed one of my red lines early on (not sexual/abusive though) and I basically went with an approach of - this is completely unacceptable to me - this relationship is over if you do not regain my trust and respect. He was devastated and did everything I needed to do that. I would have walked if he hadn’t, he knew that. We’ve built a really solid, communicative relationship on that horrible time. So I believe it is possible to come back from major fuck ups, but only if you want to. As demonstrated by this thread he has basically committed a sexual offence against you. If he’s not able to understand and accept that, respect how you feel about it, and talk about it how to move forward and regain your trust and respect like an adult, then.... well. You don’t actually need a reason to end the relationship. You don’t have to give him any more chances either, if you don’t want to.

Flowers
Cwenthryth · 01/01/2020 10:56

Actually my comment about being 15 is insulting to 15 year olds, who often understand consent perfectly well. That sentence should be ‘what is he - a rapist?’

Ugh. Sorry OP.

Soon2BeMumof3 · 01/01/2020 10:59

Did he sexually penetrate you? If he did it was rape.

If he didn't then it was an attempt at rape and a sexual assault.

You need to tell him that. If he pulls any further gaslighting bullshit, or tries to make himself the victim, do not buy it.

You should throw him out and tell him to be glad you're not reporting it to the police.

Porn today is violent and hideous. But don't let him blame porn for something he choose to do in real life. Don't let him off the hook like that. He tried to rape you. He chose to do that, porn didn't force him.

What a horrible realisation for you OP. I am so sorry.

DonPablo · 01/01/2020 11:05

The thing is he tried to out his penis in your anus without consent. Or prep. It's one thing agreeing to it and preparing for it. (a towel, the right lube, a strong condom, getting you really relaxed and making sure you're comfortable before and during.)and he did none of that. I mean, if you'd have frozen, what would he have done? Rammed it up your arse?

I'm glad you see this for what it is. But how you proceed from here? I'm not sure. Because I wouldn't be accepting this, or his denial, or his preference for not giving a shit what you want.

VortexofBloggery · 01/01/2020 11:13

Yes, when someone shows you who they are, believe them. It takes a while to sink in. I wish you all the best.

ChattyLion · 01/01/2020 11:44

Flowers OP. Some very good points on here. I wish you all the best. I wish this was a less common experience for women.

12345kbm · 01/01/2020 14:26

OP, I very much doubt that he isn't abusive in other ways. He has no respect for you or he wouldn't be so disrespectful.

You have had a discussion with him about anal sex, you have told him that you do not want to do it yet he is trying to do it anyway. Then he gaslights you. Gas lighting is a deliberate act of abuse and you want to believe him because the alternative doesn't bear contemplation ie abuse and attempted rape.

You have children. What would you do if one of their partner's was doing that to them? What would you advise them to do? Would you advise counselling? Consent? A discussion?

I would advise my child to get the hell out of there now. I would offer to house and feed them until they were ready to move on. I would research and pay for counselling for them. I would support them because they are being abused by someone meant to love them.

Have a chat with Women's Aid or Rape Crisis if you are still unsure.

GrumpyGran8 · 01/01/2020 15:49

He knows you don't want anal but he tried his luck twice. A decent, respectful man wouldn't do that.
My ex was pretty awful in a number of ways, but when we tried anal sex and I hated it and told him so, he rather surprised me by respecting my wishes and not trying it again.
If my awful gaslighting coercive ex could do that, so can the OP's husband!

Goosefoot · 01/01/2020 16:06

I do think he is obsessed with this type or porn.In every day life he does shopping, cooking, we each do bedtime for the 2 kids,we talk and enjoy each others company.It is really when it comes to sex he acts like this. But it's getting enough for me to stop the relationship. I read here day after day about women in these situations, about how women are threated, and I don't think it's acceptable just because it only happens in the moment of sex.

No, it's not acceptable, I think the question if he is otherwise a good man is it something that can change?

I don't know how well you guys communicate in your relationship, but it's pretty common for couples to have poor communication on some issues, where somehow the real questions and concerns aren't getting through to the other person. Sex is difficult to talk about for a lot of people, and we also bring a lot of preconceptions to our sexual relationships that often don't ever get discussed.

I think it might be really worthwhile for him to look at some of those anti-porn writings by men, but it might also be difficult to see himself that way. But to ask him how he would feel if you were pressuring him for anal sex, or to talk about the medical side of it, not as an accusation but as part of a real conversation, might be effective. I would emphasis that ignoring what you've clearly said you aren't interested is a real warning sign and game changer for you, it shows he is not behaving in a way that is normal for a caring person. People find it difficult to see themselves that way, or as addicted, it's emotionally painful and they feel like they are normal, but that might hit home, that his behaviour has become clearly abnormal.
I also think your idea of a porn hiatus would be a very good thing, to see how it changes his feelings. He might find some use in looking at the effects of porn watching on sexual response, there have been some good articles on this. The unfortunate fact is that porn has become so ubiquitous, and so normalised for many, that a lot of people have never seen it seriously questioned in their peer group. They are like people who come from a family or community of problem drinkers who think their behaviour is completely normal.

None of this may work, but on the other hand, it may. People have come to see their problem around these issues and changed, and that would be the best outcome really. If it doesn't, then it may become quite clear what you want or need to do.

Oncewasblueandyellowtwo · 01/01/2020 17:11

Thank you everyone, and MischanceHonestly I've ignored it really, it's not something I can ignore now though. I will talk to him after the kids go to bed.
Goose for this to move forward I think this is something he needs to do to understand what's happened.i think he needs a lot of work to undo the damage porn has had on him and now on me.
I really appriciate everyone's advice and kind words.thank you all.

OP posts:
ScapaFlo · 01/01/2020 18:39

Good luck

NoFun21 · 01/01/2020 19:27

What about men regularly trying to use their fingers to penetrate you even if not penis? This would seem pretty injurious too?

HorsWithNoDoeuvres · 01/01/2020 22:05

Erm..

bd67th · 01/01/2020 22:05

It's a certainty that at least some of the anal porn he's watching is rape footage BTW.

NoFun21 · 01/01/2020 22:14

I meant that this is very common behaviour and men seem not to be aware or care that it is not pleasurable for women and can cause injury.

ArranUpsideDown · 01/01/2020 22:18

Porn today is violent and hideous. But don't let him blame porn for something he choose to do in real life.

What's the saying? Rape is the crime. Porn is the rehearsal.

Agrona · 01/01/2020 22:44

ArranUpsideDown

You are right!

I am sorry your partner is only considering his desires, OP. Good luck with the discussion.

Creepster · 01/01/2020 23:01

Be sure to point out to him that without a prostate there is no pleasure to be had for the recipient of anal penetration, and that women do not have prostates.
He is hurting you for pleasure.

OhHolyJesus · 03/01/2020 18:54

Saw this on another thread

medium.com/@meanwhileipaint/anal-sex-is-awful-9a314d657163

Creepster · 03/01/2020 21:08

On second thought tell him to get a dildo so he can do it to himself since he does have a prostate and so is more likely to enjoy it.

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