Violence during consensual sex has become normalised

[NeurotrashWarrior]

'A man tried to choke me during sex without warning' www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-50546184

Research for 5 live.
Linked to the campaign we can't consent to this.

Stark reading but I'm glad it's getting into the mainstream press.

Campaign.

Thanks for the link.

thank you for posting - and thank you to the women on here who spoke to us and to Alys on your experiences
We are publishing them here wecantconsenttothis.uk/our-stories

It's horrifying. I'm so glad discussion is becoming mainstream though.

It's frequently used as a defense for murder, and frequently accepted.

This is such an important campaign.

Wtf is wrong with men.

• Obligatory NAMALT

It's disgusting that so many men think that this is both normal and acceptable. Wtf is going on with consent and respect?
I hate the fact that this is yet another shitty conversation I am going to have to have with my daughter at some point.
Not only am I going to have to talk to her about consent and boundaries, but probably advise her to say explicitly to any future partner exactly where she stands on these issues.

NAMALT

It's frequently used as a defense for murder, and frequently accepted.

Is it? Frequently accepted?

I really find this so, so worrying. I'm over 40 and have never had anyone be rough with me during consensual sex.

But I fear for my daughter.

We MUST have a comprehensive sex education program for all our young people saying that violence during sex is NOT OK. It is NOT NORMAL.

If people want to engage in bdsm, then there is a certain protocol involved - CONSENT for a start, and safe words.

Men can't just start slapping and choking women without warning ffs

Totally agree theflushedebra!!!

I think we need to get this into perspective. From the media coverage ive seen we are back in the "all men are rapists" era. It is a tiny minority of men who are violent in this and other situations. It certainly wouldnt enter my head to be violent to anyone other than in absolute self defence where i could not escape.

Just for the usual fucking NAMALT crowd.

Not All Men Aren’t Like That, so could you put your feelings of the poor men to one ducking side please, while women talk about this increase of violence towards females. FFS can we have just one conversation without you jumping in to state the fucking obvious?!

I don’t think this article states that there is an increase in violence towards women - in fact I think the overall trend is an overall decrease in violence against women so this sounds like misinformation.

Also I suspect it’s not just a gendered issue - are we really going to claim that every woman always ask for consent before they lightly bite a guys neck or run their nails down his back? I suspect a few people on here might have done it in the spur of the moment.

AshleeSee women tend not to "accidentally" kill their partners during rough sex with their alleged "biting " and "scratching". I don't think there's one case of a woman using rough sex gone wrong as a murder defense.

Oh fuck off AshleeSee with your fucking abuse apologism.

There's a big difference between lightly biting a neck and fucking strangling a woman to death.

Show me an example of a man who had this throat bitten out by a woman during sex and we'll talk.

I tell you what Ashleesee.

When men are being killed by their partner lightly biting their neck and then using 'but he wanted it!' to get away with murder then maybe we can have that conversation.

What are you talking about grimbles, ar least 2 men a week are killed by women, oh hold on.

Did the klaxon go off at NAMALT house again?

Maybe namalt comments should be subject to the special FWR rules too.

Show me an example of a man who had this throat bitten out by a woman during sex and we'll talk.

Quite.

This terrifies me. And I don't understand how we can ever come back from this place. Children growing up exposed to violent porn. If course it will have an impact.

It is a tiny minority of men who are violent in this and other situations

Nope, it’s not a tiny minority, I’m sick of hearing that. Why do you think that violence and humiliation towards women in porn is so common? Because men fucking love it.

But even if it was a tiny minority, why does that mean women shouldn’t talk about it?

From the article: “It comes after more than a third of UK women under the age of 40 have experienced unwanted slapping, choking, gagging or spitting during consensual sex“

So a third of women, but it’s only a tiny minority of men?! My arse.

Never ceases to amaze me how quickly people will jump in to NAMALT all over a thread about women experiencing male violence.

AshleeSee has no posting history, so a klaxon went off somewhere.

Even if it’s a ‘minority’ it’s too bloody many when someone’s daughter ends up in a fucking suitcase and supposedly asked for it. Gah my blood is boiling over this atm!