Why are women still being pressured to report?

[PanicAndRun]

Every time there is a thread on here about rape, a lot of posters jump on the victim to report. The posts vary from "strongly encouraging" to victim blaming, shaming ,guilting and pure pressure.

You have to report to keep others safe. Even when OP says she can't handle it. Even when OP says she's been through the process before and it nearly broke her. Even when OP is obviously struggling mentally,physically and dealing with enough guilt and shame.

We see time after time no justice being done. Victims on trial. Panties and sexual habits brought into questions.

Plenty of outrage and sympathy and heartbreak when a victim is torn to pieces, but none of the sensitivity or empathy if she doesn't want to report it.

Entirely fair enough when they are considering it or just need support and a bit of a boost that they are doing the right thing.

Why are we still trying to bully women into reporting when they don't want to?

I wouldn't report or encourage another woman to report.
I reported my sexual assault. They were kind. They never caught him.
I sat with my friend as she reported. They had her call him and get his recorded confession. They still never prosecuted - he wasn't explicit enough in his admission apparently.

I mean, what is the point exactly?

But rApE aCcUsAtIoNs RuIn LiVeS!!1!! dontchaknow

I think there should be a report but not proceed system. Where women can have the information taken and recorded.

The point is there are such centres. And what is totally upsetting is that so many women dont know about them.

They were a feminist initiative some decades ago and were then taken over by the NHS. I suspect the service offered will vary from centre to centre.

You can self refer. You can get support and advice and contribute (without having your name attached) forensic evidence which is kept on file and can then be used such a case go to court and the evidence matches.

I think if women dont even know there is such a thing you wouldn't think to look for one, even if you were able to following such a brutal act of male violence.

The ones in London are called Havens www.thehavens.org.uk/visiting-us/external-support/

Or you can search the NHS web page which explains the service for one in your area. www.nhs.uk/live-well/sexual-health/help-after-rape-and-sexual-assault/

ISometimes I think we need to stop thinking social media is the way to spread information. Someone should print up cards which could be left in women's toilets (if there are any left) hair dressers or what ever.

Even if it helped one woman to have that card with numbers on to go to a centre and been taken care of that would be something.

I've just remembered there was an announcement that Scotland is going to allow self referral without having to involve the police, so must assume the NHS is just NHS England?

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-politics-50574738

I dont know the other thread being referred to early on, but if anyone thought it worthwhile maybe post the links there.

And as I say the idea for these centres came from feminist campaigning for better support after rape, and recognising that for some women going to the police is not something they want to do.

Am typing this in haste so hope I haven't expressed any of this insensitively.

Despite so many set backs women have made achievements that should be of benefit to other women. We just dont see to be able to get this informationshared as it is drowned out by mainstream media and tabloid cliches.

It is always a women's right to choose.

I have been horrified more than once by reading statements in forums telling rape victims that they are responsible for the future crimes the perp commits if they did not report, meanwhile thousands of rape kits sit in warehouses untested.
1st rule of misogyny: Women are responsible for what men do.